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Conspiracy Drain Drain type: Old downtown drain. Year: 197X? Region: Downtown Core. Drain accessibility:Although there is a manhole (more of a flood box type entrance), it is a risky venture. Due to the vast amounts of people. Drain exitability: Difficult, no ladder to the manhole, from a eight foot drop. Traversability: Wet and squattesque. Uneven ground, rotting wooden beams in the "ceiling", varying, scary, unstable-looking pipe design. But then, I only saw a hundred feet or so. Interesting features: From what I saw, the architecture is so old and dodgy as to be considered a feature in and of itself, but beyond that I didn't notice any specific attractions. Except, perhaps, the inevitable fiasco that escaping will involve. Hazards: Getting stuck and being rescued by a creepy municipal worker who refuses to disclose his affilitation. Recommendation: There's more to see than I saw, so if you're feeling ambitious, maybe you should give it a go. But maybe not. I think they're keeping the corpses of aliens down there or something. The Terrible Secret of Pipevision One merry day Dain Bramaged, Flame0ut and myself decided to make our way downtown. We went to checkout a drain Grebin had told us about, so we did. This drain is located beside a restaurant, which seem to be open, and was it ever! As Flame0ut was getting into the drain (we had decided only one of us would go, as we had to lift a grate in a parking lot to get in, and we feared that someone would close it) some guy walked past and gave us that "WTF?" look. He knocked on the back door of the restaurant, no one answered, he then disappeared around the other side of the building, a few minutes later about half a dozen people came out and asked what we were doing. We told them. "Our friend just went into the drain and we are waiting for him", I said. The people said something to the effect of Why?!?!, I then told them (as did Dain Bramaged) "Just to see where it goes". After the initial looks of wonder they made a few comments about rats and alligators being down there, we corrected them. Dain Bramaged or myself have never seen a rat or alligator, we did however tell them about Eastern toe biters, Crayfish, Raccoons, and Beavers that we have encountered. Anyhow, most of the people left, even the shocked elderly Italian woman. One man however, stayed. He was the one who had first been there, he seemed to have very good knowledge about the drains in the area, he told us a few very ambiguous areas where there are some, then Flame0ut returned, and the man assisted him out. I should mention this entrance had no ladder and was a good eight foot drop ('twas okay, Flame0ut is 6'3"). After Flame0ut was topside we engaged in a odd discourse with this man, he told us that he thought we were trying to break into some trailer. Apparently the trailer holds enough chemicals to "blow up the entire block" and has "a guard dog that lives in it"... Hmmmm? We then, assured him that we just explore drains. The man made a very cryptic comment about a drain running down a street (we believe that he was talking about the Trashy Drain), if we were in it "the city would not be happy". Apparently it leads to the sewage plant, first it submerges, then if we go into the submerged area we will be diced into many pieces. Later on in the conversation he seemed to go back on this, we found this very creepy though. We do know that the Trashy Drain submerges, however, we are certain about where it comes out. Well, fairly certain (we've yet to actually swim out to the end). He also told us that there is a drain that runs all along the lake shore. Could it be? That many neat drains? All in the downtown? Well, if so neat. However, it seems unlikely, but we will check it out. We talked to him for a while, got creeped out when he asked Dain Bramaged if the keys he was holding were to his apartment. He also said, in the summer he goes diving along lakeshore to find old fishing equipment. So we all went our separate ways after a short walk and it was all good. The End? Of course not! As we (Dain Bramaged, Flame0ut, and myself) were walking to the library, from the bus terminal, we noticed that in the middle of an intersection there was a white van with no markings except for a small logo presenting the name "Pipe Vision". They noted that they were from Collingwood and their phone number. While they were dropping a camera into the drain and doing who knows what, we watched. The one man got out of the van, laid pylons around it and opened up a manhole in the middle of the street with a pick-axe. They finally finished, then put the manhole back in place, finally they took off down the street. I suggested that we follow them, so we did. As I quickly walked down the street I noticed that they had stopped in the drain that we were looking into the previous day. One of the men in safety vests was sitting in the van, the other was out of sight. Finally a third and familiar man appeared, it was the man from the previous night, how strange we thought, as Dain Bramaged and myself pulled Flame0ut (who did not see him) away, telling him that it was the creepy guy and blah blah blah. We ended up at the local high school and called "Pipe Vision". Flame0ut decided to do the talking, since he is such the social engineer. When he finally got an answer, he asked a woman (who apparently had a British accent) what was going on. She said that she did not know what work was being done in our area and "Kevin" would have to call back, so Flame0ut gave her his voice-mail box number. Then BeastAngel appeared, as he goes to that school. From there on he accompanied us and failed at seeing if there was a lock on the drain. Fortunately Dain Bramaged was capable and there was not. We never seen the van again , well Dain Bramaged saw it near his house... But I am sure it was nothing... [Note: Asher is clearly using evasive tactics to downplay the malice of Pipevision. I suspect they got to her and "made her an offer she couldn't refuse". Make no mistake -- Pipevision has plans. Big plans. They are The Man... fortunately, I've got my tin-foil hat. -- flame0ut]. - Asher Contact: [email protected] .