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Queen's Drain, the Glittering Jewel of the Nile

Drain type: Old, section-walled, architecturally cool drain.
Year: 1960-something?
Region: Downtown park
Drain accessibility: Low. None of the grates entering the Queen's Drain have ladders leading down into it and, although the drain doesn't run particularly deep, it would be a bit of a bitching fall. What we shall refer to as the exit is completely barred over, and what we generally use as the entrance is barred over as well, but enterable with a bit of effort. As briefly as possible: You must get your head and right arm through the narrow gap between the two sections of bars, then hold onto the bar underneath you to pull your legs up. Once you're sort of lying on the lower section, exhale, relax, and pull through your upper body, then your right leg. At this point you should be through almost entirely save for your pelvis and left leg. You then grab the back of top section, hook your right leg around the bottom one, and pull with all your goddamn might, screaming in agony as you compress your lower torso impossibly and finally pop through into the drain. At least, I do. If you have breasts, it might be easier to go through on your back, but I personally will not vouch for this method. Asher is crazy. Don't worry if you're convinced you can't do it the first dozen or so times -- you can. Unless you're fat. We're working on making the drain more accessible but, shhh, it's a secret.
Drain exitability: Why would you want to leave? At any rate, you'll be getting out the way you came in, so you'd better be ready to give the whole terrifying process a second go.
Traversability: The Queen's Drain is eminently traversable for short types, although those of you over six feet will have some crouching to do most of the time. It does open up now and then, though, in areas where you'll be able to easily stand up straight. The shape and design of the tunnel changes from room to room and it's so cool that you must go do the Queen's Drain right now, right? Right.
Interesting features: The Queen's Drain has interesting architecture, very big and tough spider webs (with plenty of huge, live spiders in warm seasons), city mains running through the main pipe (I wouldn't put my weight on them if I were you but, hey, that's just me), and an entire room under a building. It's quite fantastic. Also, the drain runs quite shallow as far as these things go (topside is never more than three or four feet above your head), and there's plenty of grates pouring in daylight in the odd spot during the day. It's really a pretty pleasant stroll, assuming you have a hat.
Hazards: Queen's is probably one of the least dangerous drains I've done, being shallow, short, oxygen-rich and level. The good news is that it's interesting anyway. It's probably possible to hurt yourself quite badly (or even get stuck) getting in, so be careful there. At any rate, once you've mastered entering Queen's, you can do so to impress your friends and confound your enemies!
Recommendation: If you can get in, do it. It won't take you more than forty minutes and, damn, it's cool.

Queen's Park
We recently (March 2003) added some new photos of Queen's Drain. Yay!

There's a drain near me that Asher, The Craze That Is Sweeping The Nation, entered about a week back. I'd been meaning to check it out myself, but she beat me to it.
She wrote a bit about the experience and uploaded several pictures she'd taken inside. It was, as she so delicately puts it, Nifty.
So today I was bored off my ass. I mean, really. The only logical course of action seemed to be to pack up a backpack and hunting jacket with flashlights, crowbars, pliers, and all other manner of wonderful things and take a bus downtown.
So I put on my dirty old draining clothes, loaded up my stuff and went downtown. I called a friend (Beast Angel, as he's known) to see if he could join me. He couldn't.
That done, I went on my merry way to the drain at Queen's Park that I had heard so little about. There was hardly anyone about, so I hopped down into the little creek flowing from it and took a look at the entrance.
I had been advised by the drain's previous and aforementioned explorer, Asher, that although the bolts on the grate blocking entry to the drain were rusted to the point of being completely unremovable, there was a "space near the top" that one could squeeze through. I was assured that I, being "skinny", could make it through easily.
I wish she had taken a picture of the so-called entrance.
The pipe must have been about 5' to 5'6" high, and the majority of it was blocked by a large barred gate which was designed to swing out, but was bolted down. The bolts, as mentioned, were rusted to uselessness.
The upper part of the pipe was blocked by a large grill that contoured to its top.
The "space" of which I had been told was, in fact, a one-foot gap between these two gates.
I approached the gap head-first at first. I was able to get my head through by turning it sideways, but I got caught at my chest -- it just wouldn't make it through. I pulled out, took off my coat and jacket and hung them up on a convenient protruding bolt, and tried again. No luck.
I tried holding onto the upper grill and swinging through, feet-first, but couldn't get my pelvis through and wound up feeling very silly. I tried a variety of things, trying to push various parts of myself through the gap, but every time I got stuck less than half-way and had to get back out (which, mercifully, I was always able to).
It got to the point where I began to doubt that Asher and I were talking about the same drain. So, I made my way to a nearby payphone and gave her a call.
She was incredulous, and guaranteed me that I ought to be able to make it through the gap. She told me that she and her partner had approached it sideways, sort of pushing their whole bodies through at once.
I tried again. I hung up my coat and backpack, stuck my head and right arm through the gap, swung up my right leg and got stuck. I could hardly breathe, and my lower back was starting to give out, so I scrambled back out and re-assessed the situation.
My re-assessment indicated that I should, in fact, try again. This I did, and got the majority of my body through, but got stuck at the pelvis. Trying to push myself through with my arms and right leg put pressure on some mysterious nerve bundle that made my ears ring and my head light, and it occurred to me that I ought to panic. I caught myself thinking something I never thought I would have:
"This is not worth the effort."
I started to pull myself back out of the gap, but realized to my dismay that if I went home I would only be coming back in a few days to try again. There was no reason to miss this opportunity.
I got myself back up into the agonizing lodged-pelvis position and pushed as hard as I could. The fly on my jeans caught on the grill, but only briefly, and with some anatomical bizarreness I popped through to the other side.
"Hoorah," I thought, "I made it! I'm the greatest drainer in the world! Nobody has ever done that before! I'm the first to ever enter this drain! Hah!"
On that note, I reached back through the grill and pulled my coat, jacket and backpack through. I put them on and put on the white toque I'd been keeping in my bag, which I had been saving for this point on account of it being a white toque.
I wasn't honestly sure I could make it back out, but I'd cross that bridge when I came to it. I took a few steps into the drain, which was running with water but no higher than the soles of my shoes, and pulled out a flashlight. I had brought a pair of flashlight glasses but decided to forego them in favour of a brighter light, as I wanted to see everything the drain had to offer.

This is a small offshoot of the drain. It is draining in, it is far to small to venture into. The actual size is probably less than one foot across.

This is a shot of one of the few manholes located in Queen's.


I splashed my way upstream until I could no longer see the entrance. I think it's fair to say that this was not, per se, a "drain" in the classic sense -- that is, it didn't have navigable connections to the city's storm drain network -- but rather a very long culvert which also worked as a storm drain at night and hoped its parents didn't find out. It was drained into at several points, but it seemed generally to be a stand-alone deal. It was also, I believe, very very old.
The first thing that struck me (figuratively and literally) was something Asher had mentioned -- the cobwebs. They were everywhere, hanging heavy with years of dust and assorted microdebris. I dodged them where I could, for the sake of not plastering myself with them and in an attempt to disrupt as little of the drain's environment as I could. These things were all part of the experience of being down there, and it would be a shame to ruin it for explorers to come.
The height of the drain sloped up and down by several inches as I went. Sometimes I could walk almost comfortably, and sometimes I was stooped over in half, splashing bow-legged down the tunnel. Happily, there was no crawling or crouching to be done.
With my flashlight off, I could see the odd spot of daylight up ahead shining in through surface-side drains and manholes. These were a nice place to stand up, stretch, and take a breath of fresh air before going on my way.

This is the first image of the drain in all its glory. Hoora!

The first few hundred feet of the drain were more or less unremarkable, save the odd manhole, tubes draining in (and out -- these were halfway up the walls and I suspect they served as overflow protection) and lots of cobwebs. There was no graffiti to be seen past the entrance -- it was practically untouched.
At one point I came across several pieces of iron in various shapes. I picked one up that was vaguely heart-shaped at decided that it, in all its drippy and garbage-strung glory, could be my Souvenir(tm). I had only walked a few dozen feet with it before I realized just how gross it was, and set it down in a dry spot to pick up on my way back.
As I made my way down the tunnel I came to a particularly webbish spot, where I found myself practically on my knees to get under the hanging cobwebs. Finally I shone my flashlight up and saw, right in front of me, a gigantic cobweb stretching across the entire upper quarter of the tunnel, hanging down to halfway in the middle. It was really quite magnificent, as far as these things go. An absolute palace among discarded cobwebs, and I couldn't for the life of me imagine how Asher and her partner made it under it. My first inclination, of course, was to burn it.
I pulled a lighter out of my bag, entertained some brief cautionary thoughts about things like methane, and flicked up a meager flame (there was a slight air current in the tunnel). I held it to a particularly low part of the cobweb, near the middle, and nothing happened. I kept the flame on it for a while longer and the web began to turn red-hot, the tunnel filled with a charred scent, but the thing would not burn.
I put my lighter away in disbelief and crawled respectfully under the web. Despite all its dusty and webbish grandeur, I wasn't truly impressed by the thing until it actively resisted an attempt to destroy it. That, I decided, was a very cool cobweb. I made a mental note to ask Asher if she had any pictures of it.
Unable to handle the excitement of unburnable spider webs, I made my way on down the tunnel, ducked some rusty pipe, ran under some very drippy manholes, saw the fabled raccoon lavatory and found myself suddenly able to stand up straight in an area Asher had dubbed "The Room".
I was quite impressed with this chamber. It had wooden supports running along the ceiling and a sort of crawlspace made of concrete and wood on either side. The floor above me was a dark wood and it thrilled me to think that whatever this building that I was under actually was, I'll bet nobody ever thought this was under their feet when they walked across that floor. Perhaps some kid at some point had noticed that when he jumped or knocked on the floor at this point, it sounded slightly different than in other places... but he never would have thought (and wouldn't he have been overjoyed to discover!) that there was this bizarre, wet, dirty microcosm underneath him. I immediately decided that if I had trouble squeezing my way back out of the drain, my alternate exit would be to smash through this floor.
But enough about fictional children. I shone my light around the room and saw what I could see -- rolls of fence wire, metal grills of various designs, lots of wood. There was a tiny stump with some bent nails in it and I believe I saw a load-bearing stack of kindling. This place was as thick with cobwebs as any, but the first few feet were more or less clear of them, likely due to Asher creeping about with her camera. Thank you, Asher.
I stared about and walked a bit further. From the end of The Room, the other end of the Queen's Drain was visible -- this one was blocked with a metal grid which there was no way I was going to get through. I went right up to it to see where it came out (which was near an AT&T office building and right in the middle of some cheap, redneck-ridden housing), then went back to play with The Room some more.
The whole time I was underground I was looking at everything, examining things and just enjoying what was around me, as the whole Thing about draining dictates. However, I'd spent all afternoon rushing about, avoiding people who were yelling at me about being on their property and taking backroads everywhere, and this nervous momentum along with some anxiety at the back of my mind over whether or not I would be able to get back out made my journey through the drain a little more above-groundish than it should have been. I walked a little too fast, didn't look at things quite closely enough and all things considered just never quite got my draining Zen on. Don't get me wrong, the trip was enjoyable, interesting and certainly filled my day, but I'd like to go back sometime when I'm a little more mellow.
Once I'd had my fill of The Room, I turned to go back into the more traditional part of the drain -- and realized that the entrance to the drain from The Room had once been fenced off. All around the circular tunnel mouth was a series of rusted metal wire stubs, configured in what had obviously once been a grid. Someone, at some point, had taken a pair of boltcutters to it, and done no shy job of it either. Kudos to the mystery drainer.

This is Asher, the picture was taken by Grebin. They were the first ones to do Queen's Drain, hence named it.

This is a grate that was covered in snow and leaves. It was dripping and all around not to pleasent first time around.

Before I left the room, a niggling urge that had been working at me the whole time I'd been there finally got the best of me. Unable to resist the temptation any longer, I reached up through the cobwebs and rapped very loudly on the floor above me.
So I made my way back through the drain. I ducked the pipes, went under the cobwebs, saw some more wood above me and realized I was under another building, passed the raccoon lavatory, opted not to pick up my still-very-disgusting rusted Souvenir(tm), stepped in a wet animal nest, pushed on a circle of rusty, flaky metal just to see what it was, and splashed my way back to the entrance.
I saw a set of raccoon prints here, which I very nearly stepped on. In keeping with my decision not to disturb the drain, I moved to the other side. I took off my coat and backpack, hung them up, and squeezed my wiry frame once more through the gap. I pulled my things through the gap and was once again back in the real world, one drain richer.
As I took off my hat and examined my backpack, I realized just how futile my resolution not to disturb the drain had been. My hat was brown with thick strands of web and my backpack was literally covered with them. They were so thick on it that they looked artificial, like Halloween decorations. It was a frighteningly gothic effect, all things considered.
Covered in mud, dust, dirt, cobwebs and rust, I clambered my way back up the side of the creek in that sort of daze one generally enters after leaving forty minutes underground for all the bright colours and flashing lights of the world above. Some people crossing the bridge over the drain entrance gave me a glance, but only a short one. I suppose they figured I was homeless, or something of the design.
I called PrussianSnow to try to get a ride home -- he declined. As such I made my way to the bus terminal and caught a bus home. Myself, my bag and my newly-acquired smell of pungent wet earth each had a seat to ourselves. Surprise, surprise. Most people tried to avoid looking at me.
And here I am, back at home.
I have to say that this drain, despite my vague anxiety all the way through (which hopefully will be diminished in any future visit now that I know I can definitely get in and out), was an interesting and rewarding trip. While short by most classic definitions, I felt that it was just about the perfect length for what it contained -- and as far as drains go, the Featureless-Plodding-to-Cool-Stuff ratio was extremely good. I'd recommend a visit to this drain to anyone who can fit into it. I feel it would make a good trip for neophytes, as well -- it offers many of the features one would face in larger drains (and lacks several, such as ladders and pits), but not in irritating or dangerous excess. That and the will required to squeeze one's self through the entrance is really a hell of a thing. ;)
I also have to give many extravagant kudos to Asher and her partner, for actually forcing themselves through that gap without the express knowledge of it having been done before. For all they knew they could get stuck halfway through and suffocate, with no room for their chest or ribs to expand. Most of the people I know, in Asher's place, would have tried a couple of the bolts and come back with a report that the gate would have to be knocked out with a sledgehammer. Obviously, I'm duly impressed with Asher's ambition in just Going The Hell For It.
So, yes. A very cool drain. Check out.
--Flame0ut

ASHER'S ACCOUNT
March 29, 2001.
The drain is not very large, it is however interesting. This drain has a very low water table as well, it has minimal difficulties to over come. The drain begins in Queen's Park. The entrance is a dome shape with a grill on the inside of it. On can squeeze through a space near the top of the grill. Once they have done so they are, as they say, home free (other than having to get back out). Anyhow, the grill itself is designed to come open, given the right bolts are removed. However, after many years of weathering they have rusted on. Grebin and all his strength had tried many a time to remove them, whit no success. Once inside the drain one can stand upright, so long as they are under 5'5. This last only if you wish to be bombarded with cobwebs and dead insects of every sort. Luckily I had worn a black toque, which kept most of this out of my hair. Grebin, however, did not. This would not have been a problem if he did not have to return to school in a very short time. So we went through carefully, as well, in doing so we left most of the ... environment intact. There were a few manholes, some grates (which usually cover flood boxes) and pipes which seem to reach up into peoples dwellings. In one place there is a board that covers some type of hole, that may very well lead into someone's house. Near the end of the drain there is what has been dubbed "the room" (by an conversation with one particular person). [Note: many have claimed that I should have given "the room" a better name, well I say deal with it. I technically did not name it so blah. April 27, 2001] It was in a way like a crawl space, it had wood supports running along the ceiling. There are some pictures of it in the gallery. It was once of the more impressive things I have seen in a drain. I must note that this has been doubted to be a drain. However, I say it is. There are small pipes that connect it to the, so called, network in Barrie. To be fair it could also be consider a culvert. So it will officially be known as a "Drain-culvert-crawlspace". There is a short piece of tunnel left after this room, so to speak. At the end of it there is a grate, there is a space underneath it, which one could fit through with ease, however, they must be willing to get wet. We were not willing to do such a thing (get wet). As I stated before Grebin had to go back to school. So, we turned around and headed back... We once again stopped in the room, just because it was interesting, took a few pictures. Noted the spiky stubs of wire around the entrance/exit (depending which way you come at it) to the room, then begun our journey back. On the way back we moved much more quickly, as Grabin had to get back to school. We exited the drain and walked up the embankment, I had parked on the other side of the park. So we had to walk through covered in cobwebs and whatnot. I took Grebin back to school and then went to get my pictures developed...
End of story.
Grebin making note of the metal spikes that surround the entrance into the room.

"The Room" A large open area under a autmotive building.

More room...

And again...

Path
- When you reach the entrance of the drain you must slip through two bars, they are rusted on and will not budge. So don't worry when you realize that the bars you have to fit through are almost at the top and diagonal.
- Once you have got inside of the drain get a feel for the environment; feel the cement, touch some cobwebs...
- Once you begin your journey try to stay on the dry areas, that is until you reach the area a raccoon likes to use as a lavatory. Then I suggest you get your feet wet. Hey, it's your choice.
- After walking for awhile you will reach a place where you can stand straight up, yippy. Remember as you are leaving this area there are several large steel pipes crossing in front of you.
- Once you have ducked under/jumped these pipes you will one again be in a very confined place. I like to say cozy. Eventually this will end, but will return.
- Again you come to a place you can stand straight up. Alas! This place is very different! Watch your head when you first walk in there is a board with steel spikes in it directly above the opening. This place is directly underneath a building. It has a small crawlspace, however, it is filled with cement and wood. Never-the-less, you can explore it. This is perhaps the most interesting place in the drain. When you are there you can hear the people walking above you, nifty. It is all fun, but then you realize you are near the end of the tunnel...
- So you move on, back to that confined space. One day a measurement will go here! And then you see the light. No it's not death, or heaven, or whatever. It's the end of the tunnel. Oh, despair. It is a rather disappointing ending to be quite honest. I will let you see for yourself.
- Then it's time to head back, or jump out, whatever you choose.
- As one walks through the tunnel they will find all kinds of neat little crevasse. There's something for everyone.
-Asher

[And once more, while these old photos are lovely and all, do be sure to check out the new photo gallery they'll likely be assimilated into eventually. :D]


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