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UER Forum > Archived Rookie Forum > Anybody Ever Get Covered In CRAP? (Viewed 2577 times)
SirJinx 


Location: Los Angeles Area
Gender: Male




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Anybody Ever Get Covered In CRAP?
< on 6/3/2008 3:35 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
I know a lot of you do drain exploring. There's no way at least one of you didn't slip, fall in and get completely covered in shit.

Do tell stories and don't forget the grizzly details (my mouth was open, I took a big gulp, etc.)

Not being a pest mods, if this is too graphic or juvenile, feel free to move it to rookie land. And yes I did do a search but searching for SHIT turns up a bunch of other unrelated stuff and I'm not about to sort through it.


People are weird.
micro 


Gender: Male


Slowly I turned

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Re: Anybody Ever Get Covered In CRAP?
<Reply # 1 on 6/3/2008 4:00 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
I hate to break it to you, but most drains (even combined sewers) don't have a whole lot of "shit" in them. At least not in the way that you're probably imagining them to. Take a barrel of water and add a shot glass full of shit and that's probably the sort of ratio that we're talking about here in most scenarios- or next to nothing if it's a system designed to carry stormwater.

If you fall and slip, then most of the time you're just going to get soaked.. with water. Then maybe if you put your hands in your mouth or something, you might come down with some nasty gastrointestinal illness a day or so later. It's happened to me, and if you'd like me to, I could describe the intense bowel movements I had for a good 72 hours. That's probably not the sort of story you were hoping for though.

I know, I know.. I'm no fun, am I?
[last edit 6/3/2008 5:42 AM by micro - edited 1 times]

SirJinx 


Location: Los Angeles Area
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Re: Anybody Ever Get Covered In CRAP?
<Reply # 2 on 6/3/2008 4:06 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
Okay so then tell me about the time your toilet overflowed. Give me something.



People are weird.
micro 


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Slowly I turned

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Re: Anybody Ever Get Covered In CRAP?
<Reply # 3 on 6/3/2008 4:09 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
You're not a fecalpheliac or something, are you? If so, there are other sites out there for that sort of thing.

SirJinx 


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Re: Anybody Ever Get Covered In CRAP?
<Reply # 4 on 6/3/2008 4:11 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
Found this at actionsquad...lol

We remembered from our previous trip into the sewers that a particular street's sewer tunnel was a more major line than the others, and was choked with semi-stagnant raw sewage. We'd need to get through about four or five blocks of it. Therefore, we were all wearing deep rubber waders when we set off for Mel's Hole that evening.

We got in, navigated through the crawl tunnels and the sewer maze without incident, until we reached the deep-sewage tunnel I mentioned a second ago. Prior to that point, we'd scarcely had to get our feet dirty; the tunnels mostly had ledges to walk on either side of the sewage trench. In the spots where the ledges were too slick and poorly angled, or when the buttsnot-coated ceiling was too low, we walked in the sewage-filled trench. This usually carried only six inches or so of sewage.

The tunnel we faced now was nightmarish in comparison. There were no ledges to walk on; the entire tunnel was flooded with thick, oozing sewage. Unlike other passages, in which the waste flowed along in mainly liquid form, the sewage here was a semi-stagnant stew that got thicker deeper down. It was about mid thigh deep, although this varied depending on how far we sunk into the muck at the bottom.

Since the solid waste keep us several inches up from the original tunnel floor, the tunnel was too low to walk upright in: we were forced to stoop to keep from hitting our heads on the absolutely disgusting ceiling, which was covered in snotlike slime mold formations and cockroaches. The roaches were bothered by our lights; in trying to flee, they would bump into each other and fall, causing a light rain of them to fall down on us as we progressed through the nearly waist deep sewage.

Of course, leaning forward meant walking with our faces down toward the surface of the sewage. You probably think this tunnel smelled bad. Nope, it didn't. You see, rotting raw sewage in a confined space somehow goes beyond bad, and beyond smell, as well … and into a whole new dimension of wrongness. It was the most disgusting thing I have ever experienced.

Imagine taking a big, messy shit, eating it, throwing it up, eating it again with a little shampoo on top, letting it digest a bit longer, throwing it up again, and then pissing on it. Now imagine how that would smell if you pushed a couple globs of it up your nose and left them there to fester for several weeks. That would be close, I'd imagine.

We had about 5 or 6 blocks of this to get through before we got to where the sewer went over, under, or, hopefully, connected with, the Stahlmann Brewery Cellars. As we went deeper up the sewer, the air grew worse and worse. I noticed that the mist in the tunnel was not the standard humid tunnel fog; it formed in clouds with hazy, yet distinct, edges. I was reasonably sure these were methane clouds. There was no air movement at all. Making things worse, as we slogged through the human waste goo on the tunnel floor, bubbles rose up through the more liquid upper layers; we were freeing pockets of trapped methane created by decomposing waste.

Just as we were getting near our goal, I paused and focused on my body. My breathing was coming far too quickly. I felt out of breath, and was sweating profusely. More disturbing was my heart: it was trip hammering along just as fast as it could.

"Hey, everybody stop. Are your hearts going really, really fast?"

Everyone paused, and a round of affirmations sounded out.

"We're not getting enough oxygen. We've gotta get the fuck out of here."

There was very little discussion or debate; we just turned around and started back, moving more quickly than we had on the way in.

I don't know what was going through the other guys' minds as we made our way back through the almost deep filth as fast as we could. I was trying to be calm, even as I bit on my tongue in an effort to make sure I remained fully conscious.

I mainly worried about someone passing out. What would I do (assuming it was not me that succumbed)? Try to drag the stricken person out with me, and increase the odds of passing out as well? Or leave them there, get out, and get help to come back for them? I knew the latter option was the one I should choose, but somehow I was not at all sure I could just leave someone in there to die, floating in shit.

We waded as quickly as we could; the sewage was deep, it was slippery, it was thick, and it was not conducive to rapid movement. In my haste, I splashed raw sewage up into my eye. I was too worried about losing consciousness to worry about what kind of disease my poor eyeball might come down with.

What seemed like a long, long time later, without warning, we made it to air that seemed like fresh air from heaven. To anyone else, no doubt, it would have been dank and smelled like shit … but our perceptions were a bit biased after what we'd just been through. None of us had passed out, so I never had to find out what I'd do in such a situation. Captain Nordic, who suffers from asthma to begin with, did report that he'd started seeing black spots before we hit the better air.


People are weird.
Crazyman 


Location: somewhere in Missouri...
Gender: Male


If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

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Re: Anybody Ever Get Covered In CRAP?
<Reply # 5 on 6/3/2008 4:18 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
Um, no offense, but what's with the shit obsession?
It's not quite a drain story, but me and some explorin' buddies were climbin' a ladder in an abandonment, tryin to get to the roof...we were goin up single file, I was next in line and suddenly the guy about halfway the ladder started spazzing out, flailing his arms and yelling...turns out, the guy at the top of a ladder startled a pidgeon, and it was trying to get away from him(the guy at the top)and got tangled up on the guy on the ladder instead...poor guy got crapped on a couple of times by the pidgeon, if I recall correctly...
...not exactly epic, but it's all I've got...I try to avoid shit as much as I possibly can...

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam...
Intrinsic 


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Re: Anybody Ever Get Covered In CRAP?
<Reply # 6 on 6/3/2008 4:22 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
A seagull shat on my shoulder once, at the beach.

SirJinx 


Location: Los Angeles Area
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Re: Anybody Ever Get Covered In CRAP?
<Reply # 7 on 6/3/2008 4:25 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
Posted by Crazyman
Um, no offense, but what's with the shit obsession?



Lol. Okay guy.

I thought it was obvious that this whole thread was not meant to be serious.



People are weird.
HankScorpio 


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Re: Anybody Ever Get Covered In CRAP?
<Reply # 8 on 6/3/2008 5:21 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
A couple buddies of mine work for the sewer department here in town. They've both been covered in poopie a few times before. It wasn't very exciting.

C'mon, you know you want to!
blackhawk 

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Re: Anybody Ever Get Covered In CRAP?
<Reply # 9 on 6/3/2008 6:26 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
Posted by SirJinx


Lol. Okay guy.

I thought it was obvious that this whole thread was not meant to be serious.




You need a pet chimp.
Eventually he'll solve all these problems... and then some.

Just when I thought I was out... they pulled me back in.
junkyard 


Location: LaCrosse, WI
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Re: Anybody Ever Get Covered In CRAP?
<Reply # 10 on 6/3/2008 6:37 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
Yeah one time....actually a whole bunch of times we get covered in crap. Like 8-10 of us at a time. It's called exploring in the twin cities. If you can't drink a sewer beer, you get laughed at and then killed. Or killed and laughed at. I forget which now. Either way, it's just easier to drink the sewer beer.

I drink gasoline for breakfeast and beer for dinner!
Any problem can be licked with a case of beer and a few sticks of dynamite.
Strategic Beer Command ruling the desert since 1995 http://www.strategic-beer-command.com
lanceeman 


Location: richland(aka noob land) washington
Gender: Male


sleep?....nah.

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Re: Anybody Ever Get Covered In CRAP?
<Reply # 11 on 6/3/2008 8:10 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
Post by micro
You're not a fecalpheliac or something, are you? If so, there are other sites out there for that sort of thing.


I think this guy is just studding for his degree is poopology


lol your the one who choose to jack off to this old house with your tears as lube - Savannah
Shawn W. 


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Re: Anybody Ever Get Covered In CRAP?
<Reply # 12 on 6/3/2008 3:31 PM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
Posted by Boyington's bastard


I need a pet chimp.
Eventually he'll solve all of my problems... and then some. Sure, people will look at me funny when we make out, but I don't care. I think that I'll call him Bubbles.

Blackhawk, jeez, we really didn't need to hear about your interest in bestiality.

What is a rebel? A man who says no. - Albert Camus
Wiccan 


Location: Hamilton Ontario
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Re: Anybody Ever Get Covered In CRAP?
<Reply # 13 on 6/3/2008 4:27 PM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
This one time? When I was holding my baby? He pooped a little out the side of his diaper and it got on my leg and stuff.

micro 


Gender: Male


Slowly I turned

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Re: Anybody Ever Get Covered In CRAP?
<Reply # 14 on 6/3/2008 4:47 PM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
Posted by SirJinx
Found this at actionsquad...lol


If you ignore the creative writing and look at the actual photos, it's mostly just grey water running through there. There's a bit of muckiness in some areas, but that's not pure doo-doo, that's sludge. There's a difference! Besides, walking through sewer sludge is a bit like walking through a bog only with a little more je ne sais quoi thrown in. It's not nearly as bad as you might think.. just so long as you don't think about it too much.

don cornelius 

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Re: Anybody Ever Get Covered In CRAP?
<Reply # 15 on 6/3/2008 5:04 PM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
Posted by micro
You're not a fecalpheliac or something, are you? If so, there are other sites out there for that sort of thing.





this guy might get a kick out of Meatspin.com. I know I doo doo!


edit - I figured I would add my own story.

a month or so ago I pooped on by a bird. I ran home and took a 30 mins shower.

yuck
[last edit 6/3/2008 5:05 PM by don cornelius - edited 1 times]

40+ year olds with Myspace pages are not cool, they are pediphiles on the prowl. Buyer beware.
logtec 


Location: Logtec is the UER representative for Scarborough, Ontario.
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Nice head, what's in the bag?

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Re: Anybody Ever Get Covered In CRAP?
<Reply # 16 on 6/3/2008 11:35 PM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
being a plumber, nuf said! i been covered in crap many times...
but hey, "your shit is my bread and butter"!
[last edit 6/3/2008 11:35 PM by logtec - edited 1 times]

They say "you can't judge a book by its cover!" I say "YES you can, if the cover has a girl on it with a cock in her mouth, its PORN!" if she's 18 and the cock is black, its GREAT porn!
blackhawk 

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Re: Anybody Ever Get Covered In CRAP?
<Reply # 17 on 6/3/2008 11:50 PM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
Posted by Shawn W.

Blackhawk, jeez, we really didn't need to hear about your interest in bestiality.


Don't add you delusions of what you think is good sex to my quote.

Sex wasn't on my mind, but shit covered animal mayhem and violence was.

Just when I thought I was out... they pulled me back in.
rainman8889 


Location: H.T.S.F.C. Time to gain and a time to lose.


Bye for now.

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Re: Anybody Ever Get Covered In CRAP?
<Reply # 18 on 6/4/2008 12:43 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
Posted by Boyington's bastard


Don't add you delusions of what you think is good sex to my quote.

Sex wasn't on my mind, but shit covered animal mayhem and violence was.


A-w-w. Try to go easy on the poor boy Boyington's Bastard. His response is typical of someone who couldn't even get a date with the neighbour's dog.

Gone for a while. Be back when I'm back.
Lord 




above and beyond

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Re: Anybody Ever Get Covered In CRAP?
<Reply # 19 on 6/4/2008 12:52 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
that trip would make awesome copy pasta..





I will defeat that which was once untouchable only so that I may now move on
UER Forum > Archived Rookie Forum > Anybody Ever Get Covered In CRAP? (Viewed 2577 times)
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