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1 2   UER Forum > Archived Old Forum Issues > Conflict Resolution (Viewed 490 times) Detroit  Moderator Location: Ottawa /Gatineau /Montreal Gender: Male 4-aminophenol and 2-5% potassium hydroxide  |  |  |  Conflict Resolution < on 2/12/2004 7:16 PM >   Warning - this is a long post. My apologies go out to those who do not like long posts but I feel this is needed around here. Over the past couple of months there have been several virtual brawls on UER. If this was a bar room there would be very few usable chairs left. These have been pathetic squabbles about nothing of real importance. I am sure that I am not the only person on here who is disappointed by these problems. Obviously with a membership as diverse as UER’s, conflicting views and opinions are to be expected. In fact differing views are important to feed healthy, respectful discussions. However there has been a gradual erosion of "respect" for other members. Not surprisingly, this lack of respect is largely the cause of the recent problems. EVERYONE here needs to take a deep breath or two as relax for a moment. Ask yourself one question. Why do I log in to UER? I hope that for the vast majority of us the answer would be that we come here to SHARE our experiences, knowledge, and insight about urban exploration. Please correct me if I am wrong but isn’t that why UER exists? When I discovered UER more than a year ago, I was amazed at the number of likeminded people who were happily discussing Urban Exploration. I was stuck by the fact that people in general seemed to respect each other "because" everyone was into UE. Although people sometimes agreed to disagree, the gigantic lack of respect and patience with other people's points of view was unheard of. This has all changed. Now, many people seem to come here just to voice their dissatisfaction with some aspect of UER or one of the other members/moderators. Hey, I have been guilty of this in the past. It is contagious and very destructive to the fibre of a community. We have to stop this. Of course we all have our own view of how things should be done and how "we" would do it better but we need to keep those discussions private or at least RESPECTFUL. I am going to repeat something now. EVERYONE here needs to take a deep breath or two as relax for a moment. Ask yourself, why do I log in to UER? Your answer to that question should be "to discuss UE". If it is not perhaps you are in the wrong place. I am sure that there are many debating forums on the net that would welcome your heated, illogical rants. If your answers is "to discuss UE", then why not try that for a while. Let’s stop disrespecting others because we don't agree with their ideological positions and start respecting them because they are fellow UErs. I personally think that while we ALL share a common responsibility for this mess, unfortunately AV and the Mods are disproportionately responsible because they shouldn’t need to be reminded how important conflict resolution skills are. Don’t get me wrong, I AM NOT slamming any of them. They do a valiant job of keeping things in check around here but they have had some miss-steps along the way. AV, you could be a tad more diplomatic. We all understand that this is your baby and you exert control over things around here only because you want to keep UER a vibrant growing online UE resource. However you tend to take things too personally. You are the highest form of authority around here. You should try to communicate to others with that in mind. Respect is a two way street. You should read a book on conflict resolution. It would help you maintain the respect of the members. Mods, some of you are very good at what you do, so good that no one notices you are lurking around. That IMHO is how it should be. Having said that, some of you either take this too personally and therefore too seriously, or you just don't have the "people skills" to allow you to diffuse situations before they get out of hand (you know - MODERATE). Again, you should read a book on conflict resolution. It would help you maintain the respect of the members. I am not knocking anyone personally but I think that a Moderator must remain a bit impassionate and not stir up conflicts. Every time I read an "F-you" post from a Mod I am severely disappointed. If the Mods can't behave themselves, how can the normal members be expected to. You guys have to learn to bit your tongues a bit, that’s part of the responsibility that you take on as a Moderator. I don’t really think that what I have said here really needs a lot of discussion. Consider this an open letter of sorts. Let’s use this thread to say something nice about someone we normally do not. I will start. Since I have had my difference with Av in the past, I will address this to him. I think other members should consider doing this for other people as well, be it an Admin, a Mod or just another member. AV thanks again for all of the hard work you have put into UER. This has been said in the past but you deserve a big thumbs up. Although I do not always agree with your methods, it is obvious that you do what you do to benefit UErs everywhere. I also wanted to let you know that I admire the explorations that you have done in the Toronto area. You have shown time and again that besides being the “Creator” of UER, you are an accomplished Urban Explorer. The end of the beginning is the beginning of the end. Avatar-X  Alpha Husky Location: West Coast Gender: Male yay!  |  |  Re: Conflict Resolution <Reply # 1 on 2/12/2004 7:28 PM >   I agree heartily with Detroit. Thanks, Detroit, I appreciate your comments. From what I've seen, you're a pretty awesome explorer/photographer yourself. Regarding what you said about me, "you tend to take things too personally", I'll agree with that. I've been trying not to, but sometimes it can be pretty difficult if i'm being called a nazi, or various other nasty things. I doubt any of you would react much differently. Anyway, I'm trying to be more diplomatic. huskies - such fluff. Kimmo  Noble Donor  |  Re: Conflict Resolution <Reply # 2 on 2/12/2004 7:34 PM >   Posted by Avatar-X Regarding what you said about me, "you tend to take things too personally", I'll agree with that. I've been trying not to, but sometimes it can be pretty difficult if i'm being called a nazi, or various other nasty things. I doubt any of you would react much differently. I was just saying few hours ago, that if I would have needed to listen the insults that you have been listening during the time I've been on this forum, I would have just deleted the forum completely and moved to do something else. So at least I cannot accuse you of any non diplomatic statements...I would have been a lot more nasty than you have been. The Hitman's Daughter  Account Closed Location: ottawa, canada Gender: Female hot pavement.  |  |  Re: Conflict Resolution <Reply # 3 on 2/12/2004 7:41 PM >   I know that if I were Av i would have said to hell with all you assholes (myself included) a long time ago. But that's because I lack patience and people skills, and I'm really immature. Let’s use this thread to say something nice about someone we normally do not. Solid Shadow has a really badass sci-fi looking urban adventure website. I was looking through it this morning... richellesart.com From now on and until the end of time, "Hip To Be Square" will conjure images of bloody bodies being hacked apart with axes. nostra-YOUPPI!  Umpire Location: Shahre:'on Kaybec Bonsoir et cest partie  |  Re: Conflict Resolution <Reply # 4 on 2/12/2004 7:42 PM >   i agree detroit, i have actually had some very good RESPECTFUL debates with people off the forum, i see nothing wrong with a heated debate that stays on topic, without personal jabs. It has gotten that some people make personal attacks, that is not right. AV (i say this in jest) may be a nazi, but he is trying to keep the forums clean and normal. If he comes off towards someone as a dick it may be because they were being a dick back, we never know the whole story. From my dealings and disagreements with av he has always remained respectful and my likewise. You catch more flies with honey. Im just saying that we need to take a step back and realize we are here for fun. Montreal Expos 1969-2004 Forever Proud Lets Keep The Dream Alive Solid Shadow  Location: Fredericton, New Brunswick Gender: Male "I have clouded your mind so you cannot see me"  |  |  |  |  Re: Conflict Resolution <Reply # 5 on 2/12/2004 7:52 PM >   Posted by The Hitman's Daughter Solid Shadow has a really badass sci-fi looking urban adventure website. I was looking through it this morning... Heh I'm red faced. Having not updated in, well since I first put the site up. Thanks THD Honestly, I said it in the Quiz thread and I'll say it again here. I love all you guys and ladies. I think we're all creative individuals full of passionate energy for what we do, so we butt heads from time to time. Without fire there is no life. But that doesn't make me dislike any of you. From Av, all the way down to the latest Noob, you are all awesome individuals in my book. Some of you I envy for your oppurtunity, others I give advice to if I am wise enough, but I RESPECT all of you. A toast to Peace and Adventure! Cheers! [last edit 2/12/2004 7:52 PM by Solid Shadow - edited 1 times] Who knows what places lurk abandoned to the minds of men?...The Shadow knows...MUHAAAA HAAA HAAA HAA! Mike Dijital  UEDB Moderator Location: Boston MA. Gender: Male UE ver. 1.0  |  |  Re: Conflict Resolution <Reply # 6 on 2/12/2004 8:38 PM >   I will now say something nice Crossfire : Joined my forum last night in either a gesture of peace or to stir shit up , BUT , I do believe it was in a gesture of peace, Much respect for crossfire Freak : Good mod, keeps me in line, only deletes stuff that needs to be deleted, Much respect Jester : Jester is tha man. Krazy : See freak's coments Krenta : Scares the hell out of me, i would never mess with krenta. Ninjalicious : Mine and My girlfriends personal UE hero, Nuff said Noah Vale : Good mod, don't know much about him , good mod uem-Tux : I had issue a while back , but I forget why. seems cool from what ive seen AvX : hasn't booted me yet, so that commenable =) Shane : I hate you, I have nothing good to say ( hey 9 out of 10 aint bad ) Edit : spelling [last edit 2/12/2004 8:39 PM by Mike Dijital - edited 2 times] www.deggi5.com / www.mikedijital.com Jesus Jones  This member has been banned. See the banlist for more information. Location: back in Belleville Gender: Male 1973-2005  |  |  Re: Conflict Resolution <Reply # 7 on 2/12/2004 8:46 PM >   Detroit- That post was long which gave it time to sink into everyones minds. Thankyou. Everyone here enjoys the forums, We need less barroom brawls and more posts on good,positive things. I hope that we have no more brawls. [11:23:20] * nightbird looks at jj's crotch in amazement [19:48:06] <Freak> YOUR TOAD A SPLODE [22:04:21] <keti> in fact, im rather robotic Virginity does not collect intrest. -Andrea [15:44:19] <Kellogs> i'm part of a complete breakfast you know =P wait...that sounds so wrong Stewie  Location: Hamilton, Ontario Gender: Male kill your idols  |  |  Re: Conflict Resolution <Reply # 8 on 2/12/2004 8:48 PM >   What I've learned, in the physics of humanity, is that there is no way to control a problem such as this. You can bitch, and nag, and bitch about it but in the end, you're doing the exact same thing as what you're bitching about. I don't mean any disrespect to Detroit, hes not the only one who has tried the same approach. People will be people, if they oppose something, they will voice their opinion. Shit happens. Even me posting this is doing exactly what I'm outlining. Anyway, sometimes you just have to live with your problems. I don't think I know what I'm saying anymore but I think I summed it up in the first 2 or 3 lines. Just let things happen, it can't be stopped without causing more problems. > The hierarchy of power dictates that the person with the most power does the least amount of work and retains the highest benefit. Detroit  Moderator Location: Ottawa /Gatineau /Montreal Gender: Male 4-aminophenol and 2-5% potassium hydroxide  |  |  |  Re: Conflict Resolution <Reply # 9 on 2/12/2004 9:11 PM >   Well... I guess I was expecting too much from SOME people. However, I am sure that there are many others who can take the time to say something nice instead of bitching. Common guys there are several other ongoing threads where you can voice your dissent. Is it too much to ask that you keep this thread positive? BTW Has everyone noticed the nice work that Mustard Gas Party has posted in the photography forum? It is wicked stuff. Those of you who do not frequent the photography forum should make an effort to do so. There are a lot of great photographers on here! [last edit 2/12/2004 9:11 PM by Detroit - edited 1 times] The end of the beginning is the beginning of the end. Ninjalicious  Gone, but always with us Location: Toronto  |  |  Re: Conflict Resolution <Reply # 10 on 2/12/2004 9:23 PM >   Detroit: Yeah, I agree. I think we do the hobby a lot of harm by attacking each other and trying to make each other look bad. We should cheer each other on a little more. Ninj http://www.infiltration.org Crossfire  Location: Kay-Dub Gender: Male Don't call it a comeback, I've been here for years.  |  |  |  |  Re: Conflict Resolution <Reply # 11 on 2/12/2004 10:20 PM >   Posted by Ninjalicious We should cheer each other on a little more. GO NINJ! YEAH!! C. Disgruntled. MacGyver  Location: St Paul, Minnesota Gender: Male "Someone go find me a paperclip, a D-cell battery, and a cheese grater"  |  Re: Conflict Resolution <Reply # 12 on 2/13/2004 1:41 AM >   I liken Krenta to an encyclopedia with long black hair. Not just any encyclopedia though; he's full of information and advice that is weird, semi-useless, historical, accurate, and often times humorous, all of which I have to admit I enjoy profusely. The world needs more people like him. Keep doing whatever the heck it is you do to end up with this unique and amusing wisdom, Krenta. Like a fiend with his dope / a drunkard his wine / a man will have lust for the lure of the mine "If you are not part of the solution, you are not dissolved in the solvent." Krenta  Location: Saint Paul, MN Nope, wasn't me.  |  Re: Conflict Resolution <Reply # 13 on 2/13/2004 1:53 AM >   Krazy: You're a wonderfully talented engineer, an excellent photographer, and one of the calmest, most level-headed people I know. You're also amazingly perceptive... except my hair is BROWN. Seriously... y'all should see the measures Krazy's devised to keep his truck's stereo/speakers from being stolen. It's... creative. Have Speed Graphic, Will Travel. Frost  Location: K.Dot Gender: Male No beer makes Frosty go..something something..(Taz: Crrazzy?)..Dont mind if I doo!  |  |  Re: Conflict Resolution <Reply # 14 on 2/13/2004 2:15 AM >   People should stop bitching so much and get out there and explore... well okay not everyone, those of us stuck in deep freeze are kinda screwed... hehe... fair weather explorers I haven't been posting much to the forum because I'm tired of all the crap. It was a lot better when I joined a year ago. Edit: forgot my thanks Let's see... Props goes out to all the people who have put effort into creating the UER community especially AV. A lot of work has gone into this community and I hope to see it continue to grow, in a good way of course. Good job AV, keep it up. [last edit 2/13/2004 2:18 AM by Frost - edited 1 times] Why is marijuana not legal? Why is marijuana not legal? Its a natural plant that grows in the dirt. You know what's not natural, 80 year old dudes with hardons. Thats not natural, but we got pills for that. We're dedicating all our resources to keeping the old guys erect but we're puttin people in jail for smoking something that grows in the dirt. phae-girl  Location: Ottawa Canada  |  Re: Conflict Resolution <Reply # 15 on 2/13/2004 3:13 AM >   I'd like to thank exposfan and SPEK for the way they quietly go about just knowing so much about Montreal. Thanks also to Detroit for finally getting me to check out the photography forum. It makes me want to go out and get film developed. d MacGyver  Location: St Paul, Minnesota Gender: Male "Someone go find me a paperclip, a D-cell battery, and a cheese grater"  |  Re: Conflict Resolution <Reply # 16 on 2/13/2004 5:24 AM >   Posted by Krenta ...my hair is BROWN. Yet another useless-to-the-masses yet interesting fact. [/me ducks behind a boulder] Like a fiend with his dope / a drunkard his wine / a man will have lust for the lure of the mine "If you are not part of the solution, you are not dissolved in the solvent." Pouch  Location: Toronto, Canada Gender: Male  |  Re: Conflict Resolution <Reply # 17 on 2/13/2004 3:58 PM >   This sort of thread it great. Many thanks go to Detroit for starting this thread. As its been said many times before, we're all antsy because the weather is crap. Those of us on the beaches of sunny Canada are finding it difficult to venture out in this weather. So I'd also like to thank those explorers who brave the cold and snow. You bring back pictures and stories that remind us what this forum is all about. Thank to Av, and all the mod/admins. You put a lot of work into this place, and it really shows. And finally, I'd like to thank the Academy for... Oh, my time is up... ...For here, millions of mixed shades and shadows, drowned dreams, somnambulisms, reveries; all that we call lives and souls, lie dreaming, dreaming, still... uem-Tux  Iron Wok Jan Location: Montreal Gender: Male UE Geek  |  |  |  Re: Conflict Resolution <Reply # 18 on 2/14/2004 3:32 AM >   Thanks to everyone who reads UEM. I personally think that most of you have something to bring to the table, and if we were a bit less holy-war-ish about things (even if those things are close to our hearts) that things would be a lot better. I agree on the "calm down" score. Don't forget that this is just a web forum. Urban Exploration Montreal Why are you the way that you are? Drie  Rat-Hole Chic Location: Hudson Valley NY Gender: Female bringing it back.  |  |  Re: Conflict Resolution <Reply # 19 on 2/14/2004 4:16 AM >   Detriot- Thank you so much for posting this thread. I really admire the fact that you had the sense to do something about the situation and put such effort into your post. My thanks goes out to all the cool people I've had the pleasure to meet on this board. It was especially great to meet some others in my area. I'd like to give a big ol UER hug to Dobi, for all the cool stuff he's shared with me, and also for being up real late in the month of December when I was going through Gap Christmas hell and needed some motivation. Hugs also to Dukes for good directions, Dijital for the link he put up about that swearing cat a while back, Carrie and Bryan for determining that yes, that was something funky on the floor and not something scary that I need to be afraid of, Equivokal for turning me on to Deviantart, THD for the fascinating story about her neighbors, and MGP for the amazing photography (maybe someday you can teach me how to make that damn hallway purple AND blue?). Also, of course, to Av, for keeping it going, and in my opinion, keeping a mostly level head. It's gotta be a hell of a lot of work to keep this board happy, and I recognize and respect that. Personally I think everything will be a bit better after OPE, when we all finally get to meet each other. I've gotta say I can't wait. I log on to UER to keep me inspired. Its amazing to see the dedication, willingness to share experience, and especially (for me) artwork that come out of this board. I've learned much and respect all of you. Drie - www.synestheticlight.com "In the absence of the living, there still exists a life." UER Forum > Archived Old Forum Issues > Conflict Resolution (Viewed 490 times) 1 2   All content and images copyright © 2002-2024 UER.CA and respective creators. Graphical Design by Crossfire. 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