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UER Forum > Archived Rookie Forum > How do I convince my girlfriend to NOT come with me? (Viewed 2095 times)
HerbLaur 

Just boobs.


Location: No Damn Good


I'd call you a cunt but you have nowhere near the depth or warmth.

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Re: How do I convince my girlfriend to NOT come with me?
<Reply # 20 on 6/22/2008 11:11 PM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
Perhaps I should explain that she is somewhat mentally ill. She suffers from ocd and manic depression. I worry more that she'll blame me for a dead cat or other stuff that I can't predict setting her off. As for my thing, I'm a literary jewish tattooed lesbian, I only count UE as a small part of my "thing" or how I define myself.


I’m quite positive that you’ve slept with someone uglier than me, and I’m sure I’ve slept with someone hotter than you. So let’s just call it a draw.
Skold 


Location: Toronto
Gender: Female


done.

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Re: How do I convince my girlfriend to NOT come with me?
<Reply # 21 on 6/22/2008 11:14 PM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
Posted by thewo
Perhaps I should explain that she is somewhat mentally ill. She suffers from ocd and manic depression. I worry more that she'll blame me for a dead cat or other stuff that I can't predict setting her off. As for my thing, I'm a literary jewish tattooed lesbian, I only count UE as a small part of my "thing" or how I define myself.



so...why specifically UE? Can't she be set off by anything?

maypost 


Location: North, South, East, West, all around... then down to the underground
Gender: Male


Exploring if for n00bz0rz

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Re: How do I convince my girlfriend to NOT come with me?
<Reply # 22 on 6/22/2008 11:15 PM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
Well that changes things a bit. If she has a chemical imbalance then her safety and yours is a concern. I would still try to take her places, maybe not sketchy places, but houses, barns, old ruins in the woods, stuff like that.

But she is trying to show interest in your hobbies, you should not totally cut her out of it, if you want her in your life.

Exploring is like tattoos... They stopped being cool in 2005

HerbLaur 

Just boobs.


Location: No Damn Good


I'd call you a cunt but you have nowhere near the depth or warmth.

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Re: How do I convince my girlfriend to NOT come with me?
<Reply # 23 on 6/22/2008 11:15 PM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
Yep. Anything. At all. Anything.

I’m quite positive that you’ve slept with someone uglier than me, and I’m sure I’ve slept with someone hotter than you. So let’s just call it a draw.
Intrinsic 


Location: Collingwood
Gender: Male




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Re: How do I convince my girlfriend to NOT come with me?
<Reply # 24 on 6/22/2008 11:31 PM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
OCD and depression are often found within the same person due to the low serotonin levels. While I don't want to turn this into a medical forum, I have a bit of knowledge on this subject due to the clientelle I work with; I must ask: is she on medication? Paxil and Effexor may certainly help the situation.
[last edit 6/22/2008 11:33 PM by Intrinsic - edited 1 times]

HerbLaur 

Just boobs.


Location: No Damn Good


I'd call you a cunt but you have nowhere near the depth or warmth.

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Re: How do I convince my girlfriend to NOT come with me?
<Reply # 25 on 6/22/2008 11:33 PM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
Nope. Due to a (perceived) insult by her previous doctor, she is not currently on any meds or undergoing any talk therapy.

I’m quite positive that you’ve slept with someone uglier than me, and I’m sure I’ve slept with someone hotter than you. So let’s just call it a draw.
maypost 


Location: North, South, East, West, all around... then down to the underground
Gender: Male


Exploring if for n00bz0rz

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Re: How do I convince my girlfriend to NOT come with me?
<Reply # 26 on 6/22/2008 11:37 PM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
Sounds to me like her exploring with you is the least of your problems.


I would tell her to get help or I would get out of the entire situation. I know, love and all that jazz. But without any help, this WILL ruin your life and you only get one of those.

Exploring is like tattoos... They stopped being cool in 2005

Intrinsic 


Location: Collingwood
Gender: Male




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Re: How do I convince my girlfriend to NOT come with me?
<Reply # 27 on 6/22/2008 11:39 PM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
A touchy situation then.

I can only offer an opinion, and only an opinion.

Taking her with you would probably be more productive than leaving her behind. If she's prone to depression, as you go exploring alone, she could be home feeling (depressed, envy, anger, insert other emotion here).

If she goes with you..

As she experiences these locations, maybe you could explain to her the history behind them.... possibly get her into simple photography... let her try taking various angle shots, experiment with colours, etc. You could use a digital camera and let her fool around with Paint Shop/Photoshop, etc.

Sure it WON'T change things overnight but if you can sneak some cognitive-theraphy into things (how to appreciate these locations, photography, a bit of car-theraphy) she might begin to enjoy these outings with you.

The risk of a blowup is always present but maybe she'll be too busy exploring to even notice.

KingKong 


Location: Pittsburgh PA / Rochester NY
Gender: Male


Insert artistic / badass sounding phrase here.

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Re: How do I convince my girlfriend to NOT come with me?
<Reply # 28 on 6/22/2008 11:45 PM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
Just take her out and let her be the judge. If you are worried about her hitting you, or her freaking out or blaming you for stupid shit like dead cats, then you have bigger problems than what happens when you go out on explorations.
If you have known her for 13+ years, why the hell are you asking a group of total strangers over the internet what you think you should do?

This thread blows.


Lexi 


Location: Oslo, Norway
Gender: Female


I'm getting old.

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Re: How do I convince my girlfriend to NOT come with me?
<Reply # 29 on 6/23/2008 12:03 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
Posted by KingKong
Just take her out and let her be the judge. If you are worried about her hitting you, or her freaking out or blaming you for stupid shit like dead cats, then you have bigger problems than what happens when you go out on explorations.
If you have known her for 13+ years, why the hell are you asking a group of total strangers over the internet what you think you should do?

This thread blows.



*high five*

[15:00:33] <SeeThirty> cause you're not likely to be anywhere that other people haven't been who didn't have protection
[15:00:41] <SeeThirty> still better safe than lexi
MHInc 

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Re: How do I convince my girlfriend to NOT come with me?
<Reply # 30 on 6/23/2008 12:18 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
I couldn't bother reading past the first page. I think there is a very simple solution to this. TELL HER TO FUCK OFF! It's great that you live together. It's great that you share things together. But you need to tell her flat out, this is YOUR hobby and she needs to find her own. Put yer foot down girl!

OR

Posted by argonian
Show her this thread.



MH Inc. Photography Canada
http://www.mhinccanada.com
argonian 


Location: Toronto, ON
Gender: Female


"Now with added cats!"

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Re: How do I convince my girlfriend to NOT come with me?
<Reply # 31 on 6/23/2008 12:51 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
Posted by thewo
I've done everything I can think of to convince her not to, even shown her the spider thread


I should have been more clear in the first place. If this woman doesn't want you to have any separate identity or what have you and you have shown her this site, isn't it highly likely that she will see this thread? If this is an interest of yours that you are trying to hide (for lack of a better word) from her, I would imagine, that if she was determined, she would peruse your posts on this site.

So although you say you don't want any relationship advice, I would say sass your lady friend in trusted, private places or to trusted people in private. Otherwise, it seems to me you are just looking for trouble.

Que pasa, baby?
Air 


Location: Canada




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Re: How do I convince my girlfriend to NOT come with me?
<Reply # 32 on 6/23/2008 1:01 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
Posted by MHInc
I couldn't bother reading past the first page. I think there is a very simple solution to this. TELL HER TO FUCK OFF! It's great that you live together. It's great that you share things together. But you need to tell her flat out, this is YOUR hobby and she needs to find her own. Put yer foot down girl!

OR





It also would help to tell her why. If she is tiptoeing around the issue its not rude and immature, but i don't see why her OCD and depression matter. Its irrelevant. Its in pretty bad taste that she mentioned that in the first place. I don't see how it matters, and like argonian just said, she might have another motive.

If you can't talk to your partner openly, you really shouldn't 'out' the issue this way when providing no real reason/explanation to why your concerned in the first place. If your unable to say, I want/need my own space your the one with problems.




[last edit 6/23/2008 1:02 AM by Air - edited 1 times]

"The extraordinary beauty of things that fail." - Heinrich von Kleist
NoSuchPerson 

Stop, or I'll ask you again!






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Re: How do I convince my girlfriend to NOT come with me?
<Reply # 33 on 6/23/2008 1:10 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Mobile
 
I haven't read the entire thread as yet, but...

If you don't want her to go, then don't take her. It is just that simple. "No, you aren't going, that's all there is to it". What's the worst she'll do, bitch at you?



Unit calling radio say again?
Crazyman 


Location: somewhere in Missouri...
Gender: Male


If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

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Re: How do I convince my girlfriend to NOT come with me?
<Reply # 34 on 6/23/2008 2:15 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
If you've tried explaining your reasons for not taking her along, and she's refusing to listen, you have 3 choices-
1)Take her along, run the risk of her getting one or the both of you injured/caught(which could bring extra trouble if she takes a bunch of things), and have a miserable time in order to avoid a fight
2)Sneak out and go, or lie and say you have something to do, have to go to work early, etc and go then(not recommended)
3)Sit her down, be honest and and flat-out tell her you're going without her, and tell her why-because she's reckless, likes to steal, you need to need a short break from her mood swings, whatever your reasons. If she throws a fit, or whatever, just get up and leave and deal with it when you come back-and if she gets really bent out of shape/violent(you said she hits you)when you return, leave again, and stay gone longer...or consider not going back at all...


I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam...
Live-Bait 






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Re: How do I convince my girlfriend to NOT come with me?
<Reply # 35 on 6/23/2008 4:17 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
a lot of people dealing with mental issues like depression actually really connect with visiting abandonments and it does wonders for them. guess they feel in tune with a physical environment that is less than perfect and somewhat chaotic...much like their internal selves.

let her go. i'm always been thrilled when the person i'm dating shows an interest in what i do.
[last edit 6/23/2008 4:18 AM by Live-Bait - edited 1 times]

Shawn W. 


Location: Niagara Falls, NY
Gender: Male


Optimistic Pessimist

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Re: How do I convince my girlfriend to NOT come with me?
<Reply # 36 on 6/23/2008 4:37 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
My last girlfriend, with whom I'm still on good terms, suffers from bipolar disorder, and was on the verge of suicide before she started medication and talk therapy. Now, she's in much, much better shape emotionally. Additionally, according to information that she found, untreated bipolar disorder can impair long term memory by shrinking the part of the brain associated with it. You might want to tell your girlfriend to consider that.

What is a rebel? A man who says no. - Albert Camus
Pravus 


Location: Chicago Area
Gender: Male


Now the two key words for tonight - "caution" and "flammable"...

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Re: How do I convince my girlfriend to NOT come with me?
<Reply # 37 on 6/23/2008 5:46 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
Either take her with to a place thats total overkill for what she would be able to do (mentally demanding for her that is, something too physically demanding wouldn't really be safe and I doubt you wanna hurt her) and she wouldn't want to join you anymore.. (Or she will supprise you and you will have something else to share in)
Or the other good option is just tell her this is something of yours that you want to keep yours.. You want to keep is as your alone time from everything or some such shit like that..

Live to Serve, Serve to Live..
maypost 


Location: North, South, East, West, all around... then down to the underground
Gender: Male


Exploring if for n00bz0rz

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Re: How do I convince my girlfriend to NOT come with me?
<Reply # 38 on 6/23/2008 7:38 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
I am going to go out on a limb and say that the girlfriend in question is not a huge fan of the "This is my alone time" perspective.

Exploring is like tattoos... They stopped being cool in 2005

imprezawrxsti 


Location: Portland, OR
Gender: Male


nothing is true; everything is permitted

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Re: How do I convince my girlfriend to NOT come with me?
<Reply # 39 on 6/23/2008 9:06 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
Posted by PhotoSeeker


Take her draining and gross her out.


take her into a poo flavoured sewer.

do you know how to waltz?
UER Forum > Archived Rookie Forum > How do I convince my girlfriend to NOT come with me? (Viewed 2095 times)
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