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Fusspot
Location: Bay Area, CA Gender: Female Total Likes: 19 likes
Because... REASONS!
| | | Re: Top 5 reasons . . . online dating < Reply # 4 on 6/7/2011 6:08 PM > | Reply with Quote
| | | At one time, I was going to write a book about my online dating disasters... So, even after making it through the initial screening, there are sooo many ways that things can go wrong... The "highlights" of my online dating disasters, in no particular order: - The guy who caused me to watch an entire movie with my head turned to the side to avoid him kissing me, but who later ambushed me in the parking lot anyway. Ladies, let me tell you, if you've never had a guy try to french your tightly closed and appalled lips, lick off your lipstick in the process, and leave his slobber dripping down your chin in such excess that two wipes of the hand still doesn't get it all off, you're really missing out on one of the most disgusting experiences of your life.
- The 38 year old Raiders fan, who shared a one bedroom apartment with his mother, bragged about sharing a studio apartment with her at one time and made his room out of a closet, had never been to a fine eating establishment such as Sizzler, and repeatedly told me that although he's small down there (think baby carrot) he can still get it up and get the job done -- after a couple beers, usually. He has a kid with another woman to prove it!
- I met another winner for coffee in a very Asian-populated part of town. We sat at a table outside and he asked me about my family, if I had siblings, etc. I told him that my younger brother had just gotten married to a woman from Hong Kong, and in all seriousness, he asked, "Was she mail-order?" Then he went on to complain about the women at the table next to us, "What's with these Asian women, they all think they're entitled little princesses!" "You do realize I'm half Asian, right?" Then *HE* got pissed at *ME*, cursed me out and left. Thankfully.
- Met another one for coffee and a game of Scrabble, with the bet that the loser would buy the other dinner. He professed that he wasn't very good when we were chatting online, and it would just be a fun way to spend some time. So, when I lost, I held up my end of the bargain and bought him dinner. That's when he confessed that he was some sort of Scrabble champion. He was definitely no winner, having repaid me with welts and bruises, then stalking and harassing me for weeks afterwards, even after threatening police intervention. Oh, and did I mention he's a local high school teacher?
- And then there was the dog owner who invited me for a walk on the beach at night. It was Spring Break and there were lots of folks around, so why not? When we got a little farther from the crowd, he asked, "Do you have any fantasies?" "Uh, what?" "Fantasies, you know... mine are bestiality and necrophilia." I thought about it for a second, "I guess the 'Animal Lovers' chat rooms aren't what I thought they were" and looked down at the dog with utter pity, then thought about the second bit a little more, and made a hasty about-face and headed back for the crowd. On the way back, the dog apparently "picked up a thorn in his paw" or something, and the guy had to kneel down behind him to get it out. Keep walking, keep walking, keep walking. When I got home, he IM'd me and asked if I'd mind house/dog sitting for him while he's out of town. I could stay at his place and play music as loud as I wanted because he had the whole place sound-proofed and had a great security system installed too. Yeah, sure. I'm THAT stupid...
And guys wondered why I wasn't keen to run out to meet them after chatting for 15 minutes online...
[last edit 6/7/2011 6:24 PM by Fusspot - edited 1 times]
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| L'Ali
Location: Clarington Gender: Female Total Likes: 95 likes
Behind every damsel is a fire breathing dragon
| | | Re: Top 5 reasons . . . online dating < Reply # 7 on 6/7/2011 6:40 PM > | Reply with Quote
| | | @PasQualie - ah yes, the request for dirty pictures! Oh the profile picture of him is taken in a bathroom, in a room that is so messy with dirty clothes etc. - As for disastrous dates one of my most recent was I was out with this guy and I knew he had a son. So we're chatting and then he tells me that he just found out he's a father to another child from a girl he slept with who was married to his best friend. He was living with them at the time. He's not allowed to see the child and he won't fight to see him because it would mean he'd miss a half a day of work. Are you f'ing kidding me? Then I got to hear about gallstones. Wow, talk about disgusting. I don't know how this guy ever got on a second date ever. Oh and the kicker, he had no money for the date. He wondered why we didn't go out again, and I told him. - Had a date with a Fire Chief. He was a lil older, more mature. We just met for a drink on a Friday afternoon, chat was ok. He was getting a divorce and had been separated for awhile. The second he started talking about his x I knew he was still in love with her. He was very curious about my job cause he wanted to write a book. He also brought up having random sex parties. Too much. - Oh and this one guy who made it through emails and a phone call. We planed to meet up on Sunday afternoon sometime. So he calls me Sat afternoon around 3, I'm having a nap cause I had a wicked headache. I don't have vmail on my home phone. He doesn't know this so he proceeds to call me 7x's within the next 2hrs. I was scared by this point. I finally send him an email saying he's freaking me out and we're not meeting, and I was told that I could be missing out on "the one". Ya buddy, I'd rather be 'the single one'. Post by Fusspot At one time, I was going to write a book about my online dating disasters... | If you do let me know and I'll be happy to add to it...
| Everything is sweetened by risk. -- Alexander Smith http://www.flickr....hotos/11765127@N08 |
| zipper
Location: Tampa, FL Gender: Female Total Likes: 2 likes
| | | Re: Top 5 reasons . . . online dating < Reply # 10 on 6/7/2011 7:56 PM > | Reply with Quote
| | | Online dating, what a train wreck that was. Preliminary qualifications include but are not limited to: 1. No pictures of you in a bathroom & no shirt flexing - Unnecessary. 2. If I see you are looking for an Activity Partner - No Thanks. 3. If you use the word "Fun" in your profile more than 3 times, you suck. 4. Must have a decent picture showing something recent, within the past 6 months for goodness sakes. 5. No I will not meet up with you after knowing you for 10 minutes. 6. You must have passed 5th grade English. I tried this several years ago and came up with this (plentyoffish.com stories) Meet Joey: He passed all preliminary questions, seemed a bit off but I wasn't sure until we met up at a local park where he proceeded to be very touchy - feely, and refused to stop because he was being "affectionate". YEH. This guy calls the next day leaving umteen million messages on my phone, & texting every 15 minutes. When I told him I did not want to see him anymore he leaves a (not kidding) 15 minute message on my voicemail about how he is going to now go and kill himself because I told him to go screw off. Meet (another) Joey: Met at a Denny's parking lot to go play mini golf, he doesn't have a car so I drive us. I was starving after working all day and insist on grabbing something to eat. As we pull into the parking lot of a fajita place he flat out asks "So, are you coming back to my hotel room tonight?" I respond with a firm "No." Really dude? So he lights up a cigar and I go inside the restaurant to wait for him. Got me a drink for happy hour, about 5 or 6 minutes I check outside and he's gone like the wind. Never heard from him again, guess he found a ride back to his hotel. Meet Jon: This guy seemed great, until we walked into Olive Garden. This guy looks like he just crawled out of a sewer. Torn up jeans, boots covered in mud and orders a beer from the waitress on the other side of the restaurant... By the time dinner was over I was mortified. He went to go in for a kiss and when I stopped him he backed way off and said he would call me tomorrow. When he actually did call, I was especially taken when he decided to confess he has a wife and has been married for 5 years. My gawd. I made it clear I never wanted to hear from him so imagine my suprise a year later while I was at Busch Gardens and got a call from him! He had gotten divorced (suprise!) and wanted to know if I would go again. Number officially blocked. Since then I've not logged into any online dating sites. While I did have 1 date actually turn into a relationship (Eric), turned out he needed somebody to keep him busy until his girlfriend moved down from Massachusetts the next year. All in all, I got several free dinners & made a lot of good memories. Lesson learned.
| "Thunders just a noise boys, lightning does the work" |
| Oryx
Location: Who knows Gender: Neither Total Likes: 41 likes
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| | | Re: Top 5 reasons . . . online dating < Reply # 11 on 6/7/2011 11:20 PM > | Reply with Quote
| | | Posted by sQualie FAKK online dating, lets start UE dating! At least we know we have one thing in common ;)
| uer.ca/love I haven't had too many online horror stories. One kid I liked a lot, but he had absolutely no ambition for anything. He was 24 ish, lived with his mum, did not have a job or a driver's license, and did not go to school. He didn't want any of those things. He was really nice, fun to talk to, and had an interesting mind, but I need someone who wants to do something with their life. A few years before that I met someone online (myspace actually haha) who seemed really awesome. We were into the same movies, music, art, etc. He was funny, intelligent, and a very talented musician. He had just started going back to community college and wanted to do something with his life. The kicker? He was a bit nutty. We talked on the phone for 3 days and said he wanted to marry me and have kids with me. Since I was 16 and really cynical about that sorta thing, I went along with it. We tried out the whole long distance thing (he lived about 3 hours away), but it ended abruptly. One day he told me his friend's gf had started screaming HIS name during sex. This caused some conflict with her and her bf. Two days later I stop hearing from him. He disappeared of the face of the earth. I messaged his friend to see if he was alright and they said, "Oh I didn't know he was dating anyone". That was that. I've been on fetlife.com for a while and all I ever got were messages from 50 year old dudes when my profile clearly says this: "Please do not message me if you are old enough to be my father (For those who find basic math difficult, that would be 40+). Please do not request to be my friend unless I personally know you or you provide a legible introduction and do not fall into the 'creepy old man"/"omg ur hottt wanna see my peen0r?' category." Here are some of the messages I just got on that site: From some guy who's only picture is of him in a mask: "If you don't mind me asking.... what adult store do you two work at? Maybe you don't want to tell me, lol" From a 31 year old guy who's only picture is a drawing: "Would you be interested in a guy who is a virgin?"
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| sQualie
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada Gender: Female Total Likes: 104 likes
sQualtastic
| | | Re: Top 5 reasons . . . online dating < Reply # 19 on 6/8/2011 4:35 PM > | Reply with Quote
| | | Posted by mewthree did somebody actually do that? hahahahahaha!
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Sadly it's happened to me to, twice. @Radio2600: EEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know some girls pics are bad but you picked some pretty choice ones there! I totally understand guys sending naked pics to chick like those ones and asking for more, they're obviously looking for booty calls too. Thing is, when you get a profile of a woman that's cute, intelligent, fun, quirky and that looks like she's looking for something more serious, either move on to the next skank if that's not what you're looking for or adjust your approach. It's not rocket science! and the older you get, the more dysfunctional ppl you meet... I'm pretty much done with online dating - and I've tried a few sites, trust me!
[last edit 6/8/2011 4:38 PM by sQualie - edited 3 times]
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