Hmmm it's all in the image I beleive. When I want something from people I usually just start asking my question, when I want to do smalltalk I usually just say "how are you" or "where are you" (lots of my friends travel a lot).
When I'm not into smalltalk I just don't respond until people have asked an actual question. People know me to have My IM on almost 24/7 but I just respond when I feel like it (or I don't).
You don't have to be nice to people.
Ow, and the best thing of MSN? "block" people. I just remove everyone who has not talked to me in 3 months from my list an I block everyone who has never said a sensible thing to me.
Tijmen
P.S. I saw this image on the net and immediately had to think of you... Maybe idea for a new avatar?