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In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:
Dear Dr. Laura:
Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... End of debate.
I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.
1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?
2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?
3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.
4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbours. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?
5. I have a neighbour who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?
6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?
7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?
8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?
9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?
10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)
I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help.
Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
Your adoring fan,
James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus, Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education University of Virginia
PS. It would be a damn shame if we couldn't own a Canadian
It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so, and will follow it by suppressing opposition, subverting all education to seize early the minds of the young, and by killing, locking up, or driving underground all heretics. Robert A. Heinlen | |
Classic! I wish someone would tell my boss I wasn't supposed to work on the Sabbath. 
“We are not going to have the kind of cooperation we need if everyone insists on their own narrow version of reality. … the great divide in the world today … is between people who have the courage to listen and those who are convinced that they already know it all.”
-Madeline Albright | |
I wish someone would tell my boss you can't own Canadians.
It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so, and will follow it by suppressing opposition, subverting all education to seize early the minds of the young, and by killing, locking up, or driving underground all heretics. Robert A. Heinlen | |
But if I'm gonna buy someones daughter I would rather have a cute Canadian.
Unless...can Mexican girls do drywall as fast as Mexican boys?
(EDIT-I promise not to work um one the Sabbath)
[last edit 5/28/2010 3:09 AM by underdark - edited 1 times]
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Can you work while listening to Sabbath (Black Sabbath, that is)? Or do you have to be stoned to gather sticks while listening to Sabbath? 
Too much coffee, not enough food.
[last edit 5/28/2010 1:28 PM by splumer - edited 1 times]
“We are not going to have the kind of cooperation we need if everyone insists on their own narrow version of reality. … the great divide in the world today … is between people who have the courage to listen and those who are convinced that they already know it all.”
-Madeline Albright | |
please send your address. I need to smite you.
It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so, and will follow it by suppressing opposition, subverting all education to seize early the minds of the young, and by killing, locking up, or driving underground all heretics. Robert A. Heinlen | |
You mean this Dr. Laura? (NSFW image of Dr. Laura demonstrating conservative biblical values)
http://www.bartcop.com/meng01.jpg
[last edit 5/28/2010 3:36 PM by Esoterik - edited 1 times]
“You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons.” | |
I saw a version of this a while ago that was sent to Dubya. Still funny as hell
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I'm all for buying the children of my slaves.
"The truth is knowable. But probably not, ever, incontrovertible."
--Don DeLillo
PICS | |
Posted by KublaKhan
I'm all for buying the children of my slaves.
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That's the beauty of the system, you don't have to! Slaves are a renewable resource! And lots more earth friendly than those high carbon emitting units like super models, politicians, and Samurai.
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Posted by tekriter
please send your address. I need to smite you.
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I need smote. I've been bad.
“We are not going to have the kind of cooperation we need if everyone insists on their own narrow version of reality. … the great divide in the world today … is between people who have the courage to listen and those who are convinced that they already know it all.”
-Madeline Albright | |
Posted by splumer
Classic! I wish someone would tell my boss I wasn't supposed to work on the Sabbath.
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Exactly.
Besides, you don't want to own a Canadian. We come with vicious polar bears that will eat you alive.
Gone for a while. Be back when I'm back. | |
Props to the author of that letter.
He reminds me of two people in my high school...one of my religion teachers and my school chaplain. They both encouraged questions and would always listen to any arguments I came up with, and they made sense.
God doesn't live in homophobia, God lives in strong, kind, open-minded people like them.
And being gay isn't actually against most religions. For example, in the christian bible it is stated that pre marital sex is a sin, and that marriage is only for a man and a woman. So being gay isn't so much the religious problem, it's the pre marital sex aspect.
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Posted by Dresden
And being gay isn't actually against most religions. For example, in the christian bible it is stated that pre marital sex is a sin, and that marriage is only for a man and a woman. So being gay isn't so much the religious problem, it's the pre marital sex aspect.
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I dont know what bible you have been reading, but you have it really twisted.
1 Corinthians 6:9-10 - "Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God."
There are many other verses that say the same thing. And for the record (since I see someone saying this), God does not hate gay people, He loves everyone, just hates the sin they commit.
https://abandonedo...bout/the-aok-team/ | |
Posted by Mr_Fiend
1 Corinthians 6:9-10 - "Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God."
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Dresden- All that tells us is that Paul of Tarsus was a homophobe. No need to listen to him- he was a bit off his rocker if you know what I mean.
[last edit 6/2/2010 10:16 PM by Avius - edited 1 times]
In places forgotten, tread where you will. -=- http://www.flickr.com/photos/avius/ | |
Posted by Mr_Fiend
I dont know what bible you have been reading, but you have it really twisted.
1 Corinthians 6:9-10 - "Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God."
There are many other verses that say the same thing. And for the record (since I see someone saying this), God does not hate gay people, He loves everyone, just hates the sin they commit.
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Literalists read the bible word for word. And then they judge other's. Judgment is for God and God alone to make. And therefore, they are just as much of a sinner as all those they turn their noses up to.
Funny how it works out in the end, isn't it? : )
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Posted by Avius
Dresden- All that tells us is that Paul of Tarsus was a homophobe. No need to listen to him- he was a bit off his rocker if you know what I mean.
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That's certainly not the only instance in the Bible where it is mentioned, and I know you know that.
Posted by Avius
Literalists read the bible word for word. And then they judge other's. Judgment is for God and God alone to make. And therefore, they are just as much of a sinner as all those they turn their noses up to.
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I'm not quite sure what you're getting at, but it sounds like you're implying that I'm being judgmental, when in all actuality I'm simply explaining what God says. But I'm not gonna sit here and let people twist the Word of God to fit their own desires.
[last edit 6/3/2010 1:00 PM by Mr_Fiend - edited 1 times]
https://abandonedo...bout/the-aok-team/ | |
My holy book, on the other hand, says there's nothing wrong with homosexuality, but it does suggest that one take precautions.
“We are not going to have the kind of cooperation we need if everyone insists on their own narrow version of reality. … the great divide in the world today … is between people who have the courage to listen and those who are convinced that they already know it all.”
-Madeline Albright | |
Posted by splumer
My holy book, on the other hand, says there's nothing wrong with homosexuality, but it does suggest that one take precautions.
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Incredible! Some holy book... Suppose it doesnt say anything in your book about Sodom and Gomorrah either, that whole event is based off of sexual sins such as homosexuality.
https://abandonedo...bout/the-aok-team/ | |
Posted by Mr_Fiend
Incredible! Some holy book... Suppose it doesnt say anything in your book about Sodom and Gomorrah either, that whole event is based off of sexual sins such as homosexuality.
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Actually it says "Keep your nose out of my bedroom and I'll keep mine out of yours."
http://www.amazon....=1275571675&sr=1-1
“We are not going to have the kind of cooperation we need if everyone insists on their own narrow version of reality. … the great divide in the world today … is between people who have the courage to listen and those who are convinced that they already know it all.”
-Madeline Albright |
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