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SeikoLiz
 
location:
21061
Gender: Male
The beast with those four dirty paws
 |  |  |  |  | Urbex PTSD
< on 10/7/2010 12:02 AM >
|  | | | This is probably going to sound utterly ridiculous but to hell with reservations, it's on my mind and out it comes.
This past weekend I went on nearly a half dozen outings with Lansiar, hitting everyplace we could, casing places the whole time, was an overall amazing weekend. We explored every day, sometimes multiple locales per day, dodged security vans, almost got run over by a train, anything and everything, and each day was ended with a celebratory bottle in hand.
And now... it's done. We had these amazing adventures, collected memories some people don't achieve in a lifetime of zombie-like shuffling through their daily grinds. But here I am, trying to resume that daily shuffle like I have been in any way unchanged by the events of the past weekend.
And it's difficult to re-adjust. This happens every time I complete an exploration. These aren't little outings to the woods for me and likely a good lot of you, these are the goddamn epics of our lives, the "war stories" we'll tell in old age to our spoiled grandkids. How do you adjust to a life of endless shuffling and consumerism after you've gone out and lived life to the opposite end of the spectrum?
Seriously, guys, it's not a rhetorical question. I know some of you must go through a low post-exploration. As a guy who is at that low... what makes it easier to deal with the horrible mundane daily routine again? How do you cope with the boredom?
We didn't need a story. We didn't need a real world. We just had to keep walking. And we became the stories, we became the places. We were the lights, the deserts, the faraway worlds. We were you before you even existed. |
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aurelie
    
location:
pacific northwest
Gender: Female
high tech:: low life.
| | | Re: Urbex PTSD
<Reply # 1 on 10/7/2010 12:13 AM >
| | | | I know exactly how you feel. To go from constant traveling on low food and little sleep filled with adrenaline almost 24/7 from all the near death experiences and the euphoria of making it somewhere amazing to just sitting around going grocery shopping and job hunting...it makes one a bit restless.
What you shouldn't underestimate, however, are the things around you. Sure, they might not be quite the rush you're looking for, but if you just go out and try to find some trouble to get into nearby, it doesn't seem quite as bad.
reckless thoughts abide; anachronistic and impulsive.
loosely jacketed against the cold and ten thousand worlds for the choosing. |
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Livingstone
Gender: Male
| | Re: Urbex PTSD
<Reply # 2 on 10/7/2010 12:17 AM >
| | | | Plan the next one.
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\/adder
location:
DunkarooLand
Gender: Male
I'm the worst of the best but I'm in this race.
| | | Re: Urbex PTSD
<Reply # 3 on 10/7/2010 12:37 AM >
| | | | I took two weeks vacation time this summer and spent the whole time on a 3000 (+/- few hundred) mile road trip.
Two days after I got back I was at work saying, "Man, I'd rather be camping out on an abandoned skyscraper!"
"No risk, no reward, no fun."
"Go all the way or walk away"
escensi omnis... |
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CatalogOfCulture
location:
All over the northeast
Gender: Male
| | | Re: Urbex PTSD
<Reply # 4 on 10/7/2010 12:40 AM >
| | | | Posted by Livingstone
Plan the next one.
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Ditto
If it rusts I will find it |
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PositivePressure
location:
High and low where most don't go
Gender: Male
Set your Tesla coil to broil
| | Re: Urbex PTSD
<Reply # 5 on 10/7/2010 12:44 AM >
| | | | Unfortunately I know exactly what you mean. After every really good explore (and the good ones are usually the long ones) I get this really nasty depression that just sets in and doesn't shake off.
The full-body aches and pains that usually result from every good explore are also an ongoing reminder, and make going back to work even more painful. Literally.
If you're at all like me anyway, when you're out on a badass adventure somewhere, you get that feeling of complete freedom and that adrenaline flowing through your veins, that rise in heart rate and euphoria that most other things in everyday life just don't come anywhere close to approaching. There are a million other factors that go into it as well - doing something that relatively few others have done, or will do, or are even interested in doing (and knowing - experiencing - what all those other people are missing) and a whole host of other things that just make you feel crazy and alive.
Half the time I feel like I'm reliving my childhood - doing all the stupid and crazy crap I wasn't allowed to do when I was a kid, and I just hate when that has to come to an end, because unlike when I was a kid, I've got to stop tasting all the different colored play-dohs and pay the bills instead.
I think a lot of us here probably feel the same way.
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blacklines
location:
the red stick.
Gender: Male
| | Re: Urbex PTSD
<Reply # 6 on 10/7/2010 1:15 AM >
| | | | I wouldnt conflate what you are talking about with PTSD... It sounds more like the letdown we all experience after something we anticipated greatly and enjoyed at the time has passed. For references, see christmas as a child.
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SeikoLiz
location:
21061
Gender: Male
The beast with those four dirty paws
| | | | | Re: Urbex PTSD
<Reply # 7 on 10/7/2010 1:49 AM >
| | | | Hah, wow, really glad you all weighed in here, it's nice to read others' perspectives, provides a really nice lens with which to refocus introspection.
I've spent pretty much all night tonight rifling through photos I took during the weekend's exploits, trying to edit some... ultimately coming away disappointed with the take because no matter how striking the images may or may not be it's just not the same as being there. You can see a million photos of the lonely chair, window or hallway and walk away numb, but when you see it there in person the mind runs wild.
It's kind of funny, really. When I first jumped into the wonderland of urbex it was all about the images, the photography. Now the photography feels like a backseat affair, a little nagging tag along that gives me an excuse to go out, but isn't honestly the driving force behind it.
Never thought I'd turn into one of those guys who gets into it for the infiltration itself... I used to knock those guys, but now I sympathize. Greatly.
We didn't need a story. We didn't need a real world. We just had to keep walking. And we became the stories, we became the places. We were the lights, the deserts, the faraway worlds. We were you before you even existed. |
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Spike
location:
New Zealand
Gender: Male
Rapid Canvas Therapy
| | Re: Urbex PTSD
<Reply # 8 on 10/7/2010 2:05 AM >
| | | | Posted by PositivePressure
Half the time I feel like I'm reliving my childhood - doing all the stupid and crazy crap I wasn't allowed to do when I was a kid, and I just hate when that has to come to an end, because unlike when I was a kid, I've got to stop tasting all the different colored play-dohs and pay the bills instead.
I think a lot of us here probably feel the same way.
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Oh I hear you loud and clear.......I never thought at twenty (ish) years old I'd be sprinting from buildings backed by the sound of a security guards dog barking...vaulting several fences and then sitting at home amped for hours editing photos like a mad man....but that feeling never gets old.....I mean ok we don't get chased on an all to frequent basis but the buzz...the bug is still strong everytime we go anywhere I think to myself...I could happily just leave everything and do this forever. what helps me is remembering that my work life helps to fund my exploring life with wonderful paid holidays!
nosus decipio |
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Neptune
 
location:
Maine
Gender: Female
The Albino Explorer
| | | | Re: Urbex PTSD
<Reply # 9 on 10/7/2010 2:46 AM >
| | | | Wow, it's rare I find a thread here where I can agree with every single response. To add, the thing I miss as much, if not more, than exploring itself are the people I get to see because of exploring. I rarely get to see most of them unless we're on an exploration. Sometimes the trips to and from a location are more exciting and memorable than the location itself.
I guess to fill the void I spend time here on UER, looking through old photos, and researching and planning my next adventure. When you get older and the responsibilities of life grow, it gets harder and harder to get out. But when you do, oh man, it's the greatest feeling in the world.
[last edit 10/7/2010 2:46 AM by Neptune - edited 1 times]
UE Magazine: http://www.uemag.c...home1/about-3.html
http://www.flickr....s/smsailorneptune/ http://smsailorneptune.deviantart.com/ |
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MindHacker
location:
Suburbs of DC
Gender: Male
If you spot a terrorist arrow, pin it to the wall with your shoulder.
| | Re: Urbex PTSD
<Reply # 10 on 10/7/2010 2:47 AM >
| | | | I agree with blacklines. PTSD would be if you (seriously) freaked out whenever you saw a cop, or had flashbacks whenever you saw peeling paint.
You don't have to return to "consumerism", but you do have to come back to the real world / paying bills / working a job. And I agree, it is sort of depressing (this is what people do with their life? This is what I do with most my life?) Planning a new exploration helps, thinking of your job as earning a tool helps "I'm going to give myself two dollars for a new lens every hour I work"... but I haven't found a real solution yet.
You'll be jonsing for your next hit sooner or later, and you'll go jump that fence out of the "real world" into a world so much more real, so much more immediate, where you couldn't worry about whatever project your employer wants you to worry about if even if you tried.
"That's just my opinion. I would, however, advocate for explosive breaching, since speed and looking cool are both concerns in my job."-Wilkinshire |
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TurboZutek
King Dick
location:
Scotland
Gender: Male
Giant octo-penised rapephant
| |  | | Re: Urbex PTSD
<Reply # 11 on 10/7/2010 12:04 PM >
| | | | Posted by MindHacker
I agree with blacklines. PTSD would be if you (seriously) freaked out whenever you saw a cop, or had flashbacks whenever you saw peeling paint.
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To be fair that's pretty common too though.
Chris...
We all had ostriches. My dad had an ostrich farm! I remember one day someone came in and said the high altitude bombing of Kosovo had been a limited success, so we all went out and celebrated… by killing an ostrich and boiling it in kiwi fruit. |
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Steed
 
location:
Edmonton/Seoul
Gender: Male
Your Friendly Neighbourhood Race Traitor
| | | Re: Urbex PTSD
<Reply # 12 on 10/7/2010 1:16 PM >
| | | | 
The horror...the horror...
[last edit 10/7/2010 3:01 PM by Steed - edited 1 times]
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ElExplorador
location:
Somewhere along the ride to World's End, Argentina.
>> m o m e n t u m >>
| | Re: Urbex PTSD
<Reply # 13 on 10/7/2010 2:38 PM >
| | | | I hear you all, for sure the "real world" feels desaturated after, but I mean really it's a completely different experience. Unless you're either filthy rich or happy to be poor, you're going to have to live through the grind for the adventures.
Like recreational drugs, exploring and infiltration makes life more interesting but in the end your days are what you make of them, if they suck because you're not hiding in the shadows under a staircase as security walks right by you their flashlight beams barely missing your boot... then you've got to learn how to enjoy the day to day just having fun or appreciating whatever it is you do. It's awesome to be a hardcore adrenaline junkie as long as thats not _all_ there is to you.
That said, rescheduling sleep helps a lot! I'd say about once a week I go home from work and go right to sleep because I went straight from adventuring to work after stopping at Timmie's to wash the industrial grease off my hands, change, and get a coffee.
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SeikoLiz
location:
21061
Gender: Male
The beast with those four dirty paws
| | | | | Re: Urbex PTSD
<Reply # 14 on 10/7/2010 3:03 PM >
| | | | Posted by ElExplorador
I hear you all, for sure the "real world" feels desaturated after, but I mean really it's a completely different experience. Unless you're either filthy rich or happy to be poor, you're going to have to live through the grind for the adventures.
Like recreational drugs, exploring and infiltration makes life more interesting but in the end your days are what you make of them, if they suck because you're not hiding in the shadows under a staircase as security walks right by you their flashlight beams barely missing your boot... then you've got to learn how to enjoy the day to day just having fun or appreciating whatever it is you do. It's awesome to be a hardcore adrenaline junkie as long as thats not _all_ there is to you.
That said, rescheduling sleep helps a lot! I'd say about once a week I go home from work and go right to sleep because I went straight from adventuring to work after stopping at Timmie's to wash the industrial grease off my hands, change, and get a coffee.
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I've been thinking about pulling something like that off. If only the rest of the world didn't just start operating after 4pm on weekdays... not that I really see anybody else during my typical week anyway. Does seem like a fun idea to wake up at 2 or 3am, hit a site during the sunrise and bail just in time for work. Hell, I'd probably just show up in my asbestos ridden clothes just to solidify my status as "Office Counter-Culture Expert".
We didn't need a story. We didn't need a real world. We just had to keep walking. And we became the stories, we became the places. We were the lights, the deserts, the faraway worlds. We were you before you even existed. |
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Shawn W.
location:
Niagara Falls, NY
Gender: Male
Optimistic Pessimist
| | | | Re: Urbex PTSD
<Reply # 15 on 10/7/2010 4:13 PM >
| | | | Posted by blacklines
I wouldnt conflate what you are talking about with PTSD... |
Agreed. I know someone who suffers from REAL PTSD, and I can go on a long diatribe about this, but I'm just going to say that calling a letdown after you've taken a break from exploring PTSD is a serious insult to those who have to live with the real thing.
[last edit 10/7/2010 4:14 PM by Shawn W. - edited 1 times]
What is a rebel? A man who says no. - Albert Camus |
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SeikoLiz
location:
21061
Gender: Male
The beast with those four dirty paws
| | | | | Re: Urbex PTSD
<Reply # 16 on 10/7/2010 4:27 PM >
| | | | Posted by Shawn W.
Agreed. I know someone who suffers from REAL PTSD, and I can go on a long diatribe about this, but I'm just going to say that calling a letdown after you've taken a break from exploring PTSD is a serious insult to those who have to live with the real thing.
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Aiee, I didn't mean to offend, was just being a doof and made it more dramatic. I know folks dealing with legit PTSD too. Hell, I live with one. x.x
We didn't need a story. We didn't need a real world. We just had to keep walking. And we became the stories, we became the places. We were the lights, the deserts, the faraway worlds. We were you before you even existed. |
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Louie
| | | Re: Urbex PTSD
<Reply # 17 on 10/7/2010 7:23 PM >
| | | | Repeating from above: Plan the next one. This shit is addictive, a break from reality, think of the scene from fight club where all the bruised and battered guys are back at work in their uniforms, giving winks and nods to ed norton
Also, try working out. Its a great rush in itself and you can tell yourself "Now ill be able to hike further, climb higher, etc. etc.
Oh yeah, it should be PESD - post euphoric stress disorder, lol. Imagine being Hugh Hefner for a day and then having to go back to the griddle at Wendys
[last edit 10/7/2010 7:25 PM by Louie - edited 1 times]
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Spike
location:
New Zealand
Gender: Male
Rapid Canvas Therapy
| | Re: Urbex PTSD
<Reply # 18 on 10/7/2010 7:39 PM >
| | | | Posted by Louie
PESD - post euphoric stress disorder |
LOVE IT!
Or.........PEDD........Post Exploration Depressive Disorder
[last edit 10/7/2010 7:40 PM by Spike - edited 1 times]
nosus decipio |
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SeikoLiz
location:
21061
Gender: Male
The beast with those four dirty paws
| | | | | Re: Urbex PTSD
<Reply # 19 on 10/7/2010 7:42 PM >
| | | | Posted by Louie
Repeating from above: Plan the next one. This shit is addictive, a break from reality, think of the scene from fight club where all the bruised and battered guys are back at work in their uniforms, giving winks and nods to ed norton
Also, try working out. Its a great rush in itself and you can tell yourself "Now ill be able to hike further, climb higher, etc. etc.
Oh yeah, it should be PESD - post euphoric stress disorder, lol. Imagine being Hugh Hefner for a day and then having to go back to the griddle at Wendys
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I could settle for PESD. :B
Fight Club proves to be a perfect reference, too... only none of my co-workers are winking. :x
Exercise, huh? Hmm... maybe I should go back to playing DDR every day. HURRRRRR.
We didn't need a story. We didn't need a real world. We just had to keep walking. And we became the stories, we became the places. We were the lights, the deserts, the faraway worlds. We were you before you even existed. |
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