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UER Forum > Archived US: South > lesson in x-mas physics! (Viewed 294 times)
cdevon 


Location: west county
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lesson in x-mas physics!
< on 12/24/2006 6:23 PM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
IS THERE A SANTA CLAUS?

1. No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

2. There are 2 billion children in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't appear to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - a mere 380 million children according to the Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes, one presumes there's at least one good child in each!

3. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of out calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For the purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional can run, tops, 15 miles per hour!

4. The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized Lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting the "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth ship.

5. 353,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second! Each! In short, they will burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporised within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500,061 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now!

merry christmas ue peeps!
cdevon1200

When I say I'm 'clean and sober', it means I've showered and I'm headed to the liquor store.
cdevon 


Location: west county
Gender: Male




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Re: lesson in x-mas physics!
<Reply # 1 on 12/25/2006 5:55 PM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
thanks "raticus" for your attention to this post!
merry christmas ya'll!
cdevon1200

When I say I'm 'clean and sober', it means I've showered and I'm headed to the liquor store.
Tyralus 


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Re: lesson in x-mas physics!
<Reply # 2 on 12/25/2006 6:13 PM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
Yes, but are you familiar to the concept of relativity clouds? It's possible that if Santa has the right technology, a relativity cloud could give him up to 6 months within that one night to deliver gifts. With a fleet of 720 other sleighs piloted by elves, it's highly probable.

IrIsHmOm 


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Re: lesson in x-mas physics!
<Reply # 3 on 12/25/2006 6:27 PM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
Slowing time is the way he goes, man... This is a great post nonetheless!!

proves that you have way too much time to figure out this shit though...

foxmulder 


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Re: lesson in x-mas physics!
<Reply # 4 on 12/25/2006 10:42 PM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
Ha does any "grown" person believe Santa is real?

Raticus 

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Re: lesson in x-mas physics!
<Reply # 5 on 12/26/2006 1:01 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
Sure. I know he is. I was up with him at 3:30 this morning.

Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools speak because they have to say something.
IrIsHmOm 


Location: San Joaquin Valley, CA
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Re: lesson in x-mas physics!
<Reply # 6 on 12/26/2006 1:15 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
Posted by foxmulder
Ha does any "grown" person believe Santa is real?


I had a redbull and vodka about 2am with him myself.. ^_~


Edited for grammar
[last edit 12/26/2006 1:17 AM by IrIsHmOm - edited 1 times]

mediawhore 


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Re: lesson in x-mas physics!
<Reply # 7 on 12/26/2006 5:51 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
hearing something similar to this on NPR is what made me stop believing in santa as a kid, i remember as well something about the speed at which he would be travelling causing a sonic boom which would deafen most of the world permanently.
fun stuff though. thanks for sharing.

Shr-eddie 


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Re: lesson in x-mas physics!
<Reply # 8 on 12/26/2006 7:21 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
Santa's real I tell ya! He got me a 24 mm lense, a gig mem card, tripod and a headlamp =)

Dokk 


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Re: lesson in x-mas physics!
<Reply # 9 on 12/27/2006 2:27 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER Forum
 
Ok, people, for weeks prior to Christmas Eve, Santa's elves pre-station pre-packed sleighs. The reindeer are on a quick release harness system so a helper plus Santa can stop, change reindeer to the new sleigh in a matter of seconds (Hell, if your average NASCAR pit crew can change 4 tires, throw in some gas, clean the front windshield and get a bottle of Gatorade and a Snickers Bar to the driver, Why can't Santa and one elf move a sleigh harness ten feet, jump in and say "On Dancer, etc."?)

It's all very complicated as to how it all happens but all you have to do is believe. Hell, what's not to believe? NORAD tracks Santa every year and has since the 50s! How can you dispute that???

"If I'm gonna get blamed for it, I might as well do it!"
UER Forum > Archived US: South > lesson in x-mas physics! (Viewed 294 times)



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