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UER Mobile > Private Boards Index > A haven for the old (30 or older please) > Are Your Parents Still Around (Viewed 3070 times)

post by Samurai

Vehicular Lord Rick

Are Your Parents Still Around
< on 12/3/2008 12:30 PM >

i've been thinking about this for a couple weeks and it has been nagging at me, probably one of the things that is making me an insufferable jerkoff lately.

One thing that I have been worried about is losing my parents. My mom is 57 and my father is 58... i mean, they are getting to that age where they need to start planning for the end of their lives and that really scares and upsets me. I am one of those people that would be lost without my parents around. I mean, they have been divorced since the mid-80's, but they have always been there for advice or help, or even the odd twenty bucks here and there. What would I do without them?

that really has been keeping me up at night.

click to view

my dad at work 2006

click to view

my mom 2005 with her David St Hubbins hair cut... she was pissed that whole month over her hair.

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post by SaraBellum

Berkshire Hunt

Re: Are Your Parents Still Around
<Reply # 1 on 12/3/2008 12:44 PM >

My mom and dad are 61 and 62 respectively, and I don't consider them to be old people at all. They're both reasonably active and in good health. My grandfather will soon be turning 87 and I fully expect him to see 100.

What I'm trying to say is that your parents aren't old. I'm not just saying it because mine are older, either. People live a lot longer than they used to. Don't be scared.

I had to search to find this photo of my mom. The woman becomes so violent and disagreeable when I have a camera out.

My dad and I explored Starwood Amphitheater on Father's Day two years ago.

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post by Samurai

Vehicular Lord Rick

Re: Are Your Parents Still Around
<Reply # 2 on 12/3/2008 12:47 PM >

my fathers smokes like a fiend and has for decades. my mom is a little heavy (we really have this fat thing in my family) and has already had one heart attack.
this is why i worry. My fathers' father died of a stroke at 65-66. My mothers' parents lived to very old... Grandpa was 95 when he died, gramma is still alive, 98, but she has end state alzheimers.

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post by NAN

Re: Are Your Parents Still Around
<Reply # 3 on 12/3/2008 12:51 PM >

my father died from prostrate cancer in 91. My mother is still kicking, she's 90. she's had a triple bypass and she's been diabetic since she was in her 30s. It's kind of amazing

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post by argonian

Re: Are Your Parents Still Around
<Reply # 4 on 12/3/2008 1:12 PM >

My mother has had 3 heart attacks, cervical cancer, lupus and early onset Parkisons, just to name a few of her issues. She is 61. People can make it through a lot of crap these days. I think you should worry about other things and save that worry for another decade.

Now I see the Cancer in you.

edit: and 2 strokes.

[last edit 12/3/2008 4:06 PM by argonian - edited 1 times]

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post by NAN

Re: Are Your Parents Still Around
<Reply # 5 on 12/3/2008 1:49 PM >

Posted by Samurai
i've been thinking about this for a couple weeks and it has been nagging at me, probably one of the things that is making me an insufferable jerkoff lately.

One thing that I have been worried about is losing my parents. My mom is 57 and my father is 58... i mean, they are getting to that age where they need to start planning for the end of their lives and that really scares and upsets me. I am one of those people that would be lost without my parents around. I mean, they have been divorced since the mid-80's, but they have always been there for advice or help, or even the odd twenty bucks here and there. What would I do without them?

that really has been keeping me up at night.

click to view

my dad at work 2006

click to view

my mom 2005 with her David St Hubbins hair cut... she was pissed that whole month over her hair.

Your parents are just a few years older then me actually.

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post by argonian

Re: Are Your Parents Still Around
<Reply # 6 on 12/3/2008 1:54 PM >

Oh no! You are going to die!

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post by GotPaisley!

Re: Are Your Parents Still Around
<Reply # 7 on 12/3/2008 1:55 PM >

My Mom passed away unexpectedly at the age of 49. The seven year anniversary recently passed & I'm still at such a loss. She was truly a beautiful person inside and out. She was my best friend.

My Dad is still alive. He is 57. I don't see him as much a I should really should. He is healthy. He works construction. We don't have a lot in common but I still love him because no matter what he is still my Dad.

Samurai, I so can relate to what you are going through. I do the same thing with my Grandparents now since I lost my Mom. I worry that I will lose them & they have always been there for me. I too stay up at night & worry.

My grandparents are amazing people.

My grandmother is 76 and not in the best of health. She hasn't been in years. She had Cancer 3 times and so many illnesses that I can't keep up. She has always been there for me whenever I need her. I talk to her 3 times a week and try to visit whenever I can.

My grandfather is 87 and the perfect picture of health. He still works full time for Proctor & Gamble as a security guard. He works because he wants to. He keeps himself super busy. He still drives to Canada which is a 6 hrs one way with my grandmother on vacations about 4 times a year. He is always on the go. He puts some of us young ones to shame.

[last edit 12/3/2008 1:58 PM by GotPaisley! - edited 1 times]

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post by yokes

Re: Are Your Parents Still Around
<Reply # 8 on 12/3/2008 3:13 PM >

Mom and dad are 69/70. Mom's Parkinson's is starting to be enough of an issue that they had to sell the family home (that was bought the year I was born- photoset) and downsize to a condo (with sit-in shower! I might get one to increase my laziness.). Dad only barely seems to be slowing down. Still plays hockey once a week.

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post by Shael

Re: Are Your Parents Still Around
<Reply # 9 on 12/4/2008 8:58 AM >

It's the time of the year. It's been like that for me too, but not lately, thankfully. I've just been frustrated with the way things are and with work.

I honestly don't think you need to worry so much. I think they're both going to be here for a while. Sure, it's nice to plan all that stuff ahead of time, but I don't think either of them are going to need it for a while.

I lost my grandmother last month...so I'm still kind of reeling from it. What bothers me most about it is it happened over a few days.

She had most everything done already, all we had to really do was pick out what we thought she'd like as far as burial arrangements go.

Sam, I doubt your parents are going anywhere for a while. Mine will probably die off long long long before yours do. It's just being it's Christmastime, we all get maudlin and sentimental and wish we were 10 again getting up at 5am on Christmas morning. I know I do, especially this year. With the hell I've been going through at work, I wish it were simple like it used to be.

Shael

[last edit 12/5/2008 12:05 AM by Shael - edited 1 times]

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post by Hlywud

Re: Are Your Parents Still Around
<Reply # 10 on 1/27/2009 2:19 AM >

My dad died from respiratory failure following surgery at the height of the Sars outbreak in 2003. His death was suspected to have been caused by sars but the hospital wouldn't admit it, he was 56. My mom is now 57 and a lung cancer survivor.

This is their wedding picture in 1970

And this is the last picture I have of them together before my dads death

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post by G to the Race

Re: Are Your Parents Still Around
<Reply # 11 on 1/27/2009 2:50 AM >

My mom is 78 and doing pretty well considering she birthed 12 kids, two of whom died in early adulthood. My dad passed away in 2005 @ 81, he didn't suffer long, but kind of "wasn't there" for the last year or so of his life. Kind of prickish to say, but I'm glad he went as quickly as he did; I couldn't afford the emotional toll of watching him deteriorate. Funny, my mom is healthy w/minor ailments but I don't think of her as frail, she's Ok staying home and not going out much, and still bitches @ my sisters. And, while my father's death was tough, I barely knew him. My mother, on the other hand, is pretty close.

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post by argonian

Re: Are Your Parents Still Around
<Reply # 12 on 1/27/2009 4:59 AM >

Hlywud, their wedding picture is adorable. Your father's hair was awesome.

I wouldn't doubt for a second it was sars. A relatively young woman in my office had it and was off work for well over a year and she wasn't recovering from a surgery when she got it. She got it visiting someone at Scarborough General.

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post by Hlywud

Re: Are Your Parents Still Around
<Reply # 13 on 1/27/2009 5:41 PM >

Thank you! Everyone thinks he looks like James Dean

We're convinced it was sars as well.
When he came out of surgery he was put in ICU (normal practice after surgery) I visited him the next day and he was up, eating dinner and in good spirits. Two 2 days later a patient was transferred from the same ICU to Toronto and it was reported the patient had Sars. Within 3 days my dad was on a respirator and they wouldn't let my sister and I in to see him. The day of his death, a week after his surgery I finally called the Director of Patient relations to complain and they let us in. We spent the day with him and he died that night. A few days later we started reading stories in the Star and Sun about another suspected Sars death in Oshawa (figuring they were talking about my dad we attempted to contact the hospital but they wouldn't take our calls) I ended up calling the Sun to get in touch with the reporter who had written the articles and with his help arranged a meeting with the CEO. He obviously wouldn't admit anything. 10 days after my dad's death we all received a phone call from Durham Region public health informing us that we had to be quarantined for the next few days because we had potentially been exposed to sars. A lot of good that really did after 10 days ... my mom works at a school and my sister is a nurse working at a retirement home. Needless to say my mom contacted a malpractice lawyer and although they said she had a good case the time and cost would be tremendous so she chose to not pursue it. It took our family doctor a year to get the hospital to release his autopsy report.

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post by argonian

Re: Are Your Parents Still Around
<Reply # 14 on 1/27/2009 6:40 PM >

That is a horrible story. I imagine you just wanted to know the truth. Sars wasn't something they ever dealt with before so of course mistakes were made. I am sure you would have understood the situation if they just sat you down and were honest. I don't think they realize how much pain their silly secretive games cause. Their behaviour is really horrible.

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post by logtec

Re: Are Your Parents Still Around
<Reply # 15 on 1/29/2009 6:58 AM >

my father died in 1982, my mother is still going strong!

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post by PAexplorations

Re: Are Your Parents Still Around
<Reply # 16 on 2/28/2009 2:15 AM >

Mom 1959-

dad 1959-

Wedding day Feb 1st, 1959-

50th anniversary, Feb 1st 2009

Loves them very much1

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post by rainman8889

Re: Are Your Parents Still Around
<Reply # 17 on 2/28/2009 9:54 PM >

My Mom is 67 (she retired 2 years ago) but my Dad died at 48 from complications of a heart attack over 20 years ago. Mom is in pretty good health and is enjoying her retirement big time. She also said that she retired at a perfect time as she found out the company she worked for laid off a large number of people and some of these folks were there more that 15 years.

I do worry about her from time to time but then she worries about me. I didn't want to say much about my blood pressure issue but was told she would be madder than hell if I covered it. So, I told her but sugar coated it so she hopefully won't worry about it. My grandpa (Mom's side) also died from a heart attack in his early 50s so I can see why she gets worried.

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