I think one of the hardest things anyone can experience, is the loss of a loved one. The mind is forced to contend with many variables all at once. The most difficult being change. We are creatures of habit, and don't respond well to change. Especially when that change is seems not for the better, or the reasons for it beyond our comprehension. So in the midst of grieving, I think it's important we take a moment to step back, and ponder the entirety of it all. I remember feeling angry, confused and robbed at the loss of my grandfather, at such a young age. But in the following months of introspection, I began to see the entire picture. And although I was entitled to my feelings, I was obligated as well, to respect my late grandfather's wishes, feelings, and memories, by not wishing him here, when I knew he was suffering so badly, that mere words could not do it justice. I knew he didn't want to remain in the state he was in. That no person should have to endure the pain he was enduring, and that he wanted to be remembered whole, and happy. So wishing him a longer life in the state he was in, suddenly seemed improper on my behalf. I suddenly seemed selfish, and thinking only of myself. Because I was unable to accept change. Change that, which might not have benefitted myself, certainly would have benefitted him. So now, I cling to the memories of a whole person. Memories that are not tainted by my own selfishness. I learned the difference, for which I am thankful.
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