May 3/05
entry by Jesus Jones
5/4/2005 1:40 AM
| ACDC- Girls Got Rhythm
My only food weakness, Pirate PeanutButter cookies were stolen from me. I went to sit down and enjoy a few, I went to their hiding place to find it devoid of all traces of them.I look around and come to the conclusion that my gf had taken them again. I look for her and find her in my workshop munching on the last of the cookies. She owes me a new bag of cookies now. I began working on a life timeline, heres a shorter version;
Late Nov 1978- Parents do it
Aug 23, '79- I pop out
April 3,1985- I get hit by my first vehicle, it isnt the last.
April 4,'86- I get hit by a baseball, then the bat in rapid succession. The kid still has the crooked nose from a door flattening his face in revenge.
[Nothing too spectacular happens for a few years]
June 3rd '92- My first arrest. Assault with a weapon (hockey stick on a kid who tossed my binders in the toilets at school)
October 12,'96- I almost get clobbered by a freight train, racing it on my bike.
[Nothing happens again for a few years]
July 7/04- Playing catcher at a friends family reunion, the batter steps backwards and I get the full force of a swing in the side of ths ol cranium. I flatlined on the driveway of the hospital in the Hambulance. I was dead for almost 30 seconds. Massive swelling and pain ensued. The painkillers made me look like I was whacked on drugs. But I do normally look like a retarted,drooling idiot.
Thats the condensed version, Ill stick an in-depth version 'ere when I finish it.
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Comments: (use Reply to add a comment)
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Flatlined??? Jesus was resurrected. Hallelujah!
I'm definitely going to hell for this outburst
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Posted by apprentice
Flatlined??? Jesus was resurrected. Hallelujah!
I'm definitely going to hell for this outburst
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Damn right I flatelined 'er.
I dunna 'bout the hell thing, Im *definately* going there for some of my stunts Ive pulled, including doing it in a convertible outside a Catholic Church on Sunday.
[11:23:20] * nightbird looks at jj's crotch in amazement
[19:48:06] <Freak> YOUR TOAD A SPLODE
[22:04:21] <keti> in fact, im rather robotic Virginity does not collect intrest. -Andrea [15:44:19] <Kellogs> i'm part of a complete breakfast you know =P wait...that sounds so wrong |
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