A comparison of the AK-47 to the AR-15 (M16) to the 1891 Moisin-Nagant rifles.

AK: It works though you have never cleaned it -- ever.

AR: You have $9 per ounce special non-detergent synthetic Teflon infused oil for cleaning.
MN: It was last cleaned in Berlin in 1945.

AK: You are able to hit the broad side of a barn from inside.

AR: You are able to hit the broad side of a barn from 600 meters.
MN: You can hit the farm from two counties over.

AK: Cheap magazines are fun to buy.

AR: Cheap magazines melt.
MN: What's a magazine?

AK: Your safety can be heard from 300 meters away.

AR: You can silently flip off the safety with your finger on the trigger.
MN: What's a safety?

AK: Your rifle comes with a cheap nylon sling.

AR: Your rifle has a 9 point stealth tactical suspension system.
MN: Your rifle has dog collars.

AK: Your bayonet makes a good wire cutter.

AR: Your bayonet is actually a pretty good steak knife.
MN: Your bayonet is longer than your leg.

AK: You can put a .30" hole through 12" of oak, if you can hit it.

AR: You can put one hole in a paper target at 100 meters with 30 rounds.
MN: You can knock down everyone else's target with the shock wave of your bullet going downrange.

AK: When out of ammo your rifle will nominally pass as a club.

AR: When out of ammo, your rifle makes a great wiffle bat.
MN: When out of ammo, your rifle makes a supreme war club, pike, boat oar, tent pole, or firewood.

AK: Recoil is manageable, even fun.

AR: What's recoil?
MN: Recoil is often used to relocate shoulders thrown out by the previous shot.

AK: Your sight adjustment goes to "10", and you've never bothered moving it.

AR: Your sight adjustment is incremented in fractions of minute of angle.
MN: Your sight adjustment goes to 12 miles and you've actually tried it.

AK: Your rifle can be used by any two bit nation's most illiterate conscripts to fight elite forces worldwide.

AR: Your rifle is used by elite forces worldwide to fight two bit nations' most illiterate conscripts.
MN: Your rifle has fought against itself and won every time.

AK: Your rifle won some revolutions.

AR: Your rifle won the Cold War.
MN: Your rifle won a pole vault event.

AK: You paid $350.

AR: You paid $900.
MN: You paid $59.95.

AK: You buy cheap ammo by the case.

AR: You lovingly reload precision crafted rounds one by one.
MN: You dig your ammo out of a farmer's field in Ukraine and it works just fine.

AK: You can intimidate your foe with the bayonet mounted.

AR: Your foes laugh when you mount your bayonet.
MN: You can bayonet your foe on the other side of the river without leaving the comfort of your hole.

AK: Service life, 50 years.

AR: Service life, 40 years.
MN: Service life, 100 years, and counting.

AK: It's easier to buy a new rifle when you want to change cartridge sizes.

AR: You can change cartridge sizes with the push of a couple of pins and a new upper.
MN: You believe no real man would dare risk the ridicule of his friends by suggesting there is anything but 7.62x54R.

AK: You can repair your rifle with a big hammer and a swift kick.

AR: You can repair your rifle by taking it to a certified gunsmith and it's under warranty!
MN: If your rifle breaks, you buy a new one.

AK: You consider it a badge of honor when you get your handguards to burst into flames.

AR: You consider it a badge of honor when you shoot a sub-MOA 5 shot group.
MN: You consider it a badge of honor when you cycle 5 rounds without the aid of a 2x4.

AK: After a long day the range you relax by watching "Red Dawn".

AR: After a long day at the range you relax by watching "Blackhawk Down".
MN: After a long day at the range you relax by visiting the chiropractor.

AK: After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for a stiff shot of Vodka.

AR: After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for hotdogs and apple pie.
MN: After cleaning your rifle you have a strong urge for shishkabob.

AK: You can accessorize you rifle with a new muzzle brake or a nice stock set.

AR: Your rifle's accessories are eight times more valuable than your rifle.
MN: Your rifle's accessory is a small tin can with a funny lid, but it's buried under an apartment building somewhere in Budapest.

AK: Your rifle's finish is varnish and paint.

AR: Your rifle's finish is Teflon and high tech polymers.
MN: Your rifle's finish is low grade shellac, cosmoline and Olga's toe nails.

AK: Your wife tolerates your autographed framed picture of Mikhail Kalashnikov.

AR: Your wife tolerates your autographed framed picture of Eugene Stoner.
MN: You're not sure there WERE cameras to photograph Sergei Moisin.

AK: Late at night you sometimes have to fight the urge to hold your rifle over your head and shout "Wolverines!"

AR: Late at night you sometimes have to fight the urge to clear your house, slicing the pie from room to room.
MN: Late at night, you sometimes have to fight the urge to dig a fighting trench in the yard to sleep in.

This "funny review" seems to have been written by someone who read about these rifles on the internet, but has never fired any of them.

I don't know. seems pretty close to me.

Posted by Therrin This "funny review" seems to have been written by someone who read about these rifles on the internet, but has never fired any of them.

this maybe true. it seems that firearms forums are full of suck "arm chair" experts. i own none of these, but have shot all of them- seem kinda accurate to me. but what do i know? im just a ruger 10/22 expert...

MN: You dig your ammo out of a farmer's field in Ukraine and it works just fine. MN: You can bayonet your foe on the other side of the river without leaving the comfort of your hole.

Haha hell yeah. I love those lines.

I can say, I actually HAVE shot all three of these...like Jon said, sounds close enough to me

don't honestly miss the AR too much, still shoot it occasionaly though.

Man, do I miss shooting the MN though. Classic rifle, and for it's age, fucking STELLAR operation, except when the bolt/action decides to catch...then you need the 2x4....

I've also shot all three.

More my point was that they use 20% of truth and 80% of humor. =P

mmmm, more of a 60/40 spilt.....

Lots of humor, some truth.

I own the civilian legal AR, an AK variant civilian legal and a few MNs.

I've been on the two way firing range where all 3 where involved. The AR won, but probably because it was used by vastly more trained soldiers who where backed with 25mm chain guns and 155mm howitzers.

The AK and even the Mosin where, for the poor son of a bitch riding in a pair of boots and not an IFV, very formidable threats. MY AR was also a very formidable threat to OPFOR. I believe all 3 of the rifles represent some of the best personal weapons ever devised.

^^ best response

I own all three starting with the cheap but fun Moisin and ending with the AR. I think it's fairly accurate and at least entertaining. The AK is fun and I shot it a whole lot but haven't put a single bullet through it since I got the AR. The first time I shot the Moisin was at an indoor range and my friend told me that everyone stepped out of their lane and looked towards mine to see who the hell was shooting a howitzer.

That's funny.

Moisn-Nag can be a 1 MOA rifle if you have it dialed in properly.
I like that round, a lot.
7.62x54 is still under $0.20 per round.
Buy that stuff by the skid now, while you still can.

AK can be a 1 MOA rifle if you have it dialed in properly.
Dial it in and put a red dot on it.
The accuracy of that AK will shock you.
Use premium ammo on top of that ...
It's like a different weapon.

Any weapon can be accurized ...

Posted by DevilC Buy that stuff by the palatte now, while you still can. AK can be a 1 MOA rifle if you have it dialed in properly. Dial it in and put a red dot on it. The accuracy of that AK will shock you. Use premium ammo on top of that ... It's like a different weapon. Any weapon can be accurized ...

Buy it by the mouthful huh?

Most guns can be accurized. Some of them aren't worth the trouble.

Posted by Therrin Buy it by the mouthful huh? Most guns can be accurized. Some of them aren't worth the trouble.

Dude, not DevilC. Don't.

On a related note, I fired my buddies Nagant yesterday. Goddamn, I had forgotten the recoil. I shoot a lot of .06, but that damn 7.62 slaps your ass. Snug up, and thats no shit.

Posted by Jonsered On a related note, I fired my buddies Nagant yesterday. Goddamn, I had forgotten the recoil. I shoot a lot of .06, but that damn 7.62 slaps your ass. Snug up, and thats no shit.

My Rem700 300 win mag was like that before I put the muzzle break on it. And it's still that way, just not so much as it used to be.

Used to kick harder than a 12ga shooting 1oz slugs, or even my Browning 45-70 with a 500gr bullet.

iPad follies.
Palatte Palate Skid Case ... whatever. ;)
When you can purchase .30 cal rifle ammo more plentifully than you can .22lr, do it.
AK ammo is absurdly cheap too.
If you're going to bother owning a rifle ... why not accurize it?

Posted by Therrin Buy it by the mouthful huh? Most guns can be accurized. Some of them aren't worth the trouble.