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Jonsered
Location: Back in New Mexico where I belong Gender: Male Total Likes: 175 likes
Dressed for a scarecrow ball.........
| | | | | Neighbors < on 11/5/2009 7:43 PM > | Reply with Quote
| | | Ffffffffuuuuuuuu...... I live in a heavily Mexican town. Now, my neighborhood is not a ghetto, in fact, we have more millionaires than any other zip code in El Paso, TX. I will further state that I have ZERO problem with Mexican people as a whole, what with being from New Mexico for 4 generations and all. Her is the deal. When I first married my wife, we moved into this neighborhood. Cul-de-sac with nice houses, all 1,500 plus square feet, nice yards, the works. On about our 5th night in the house, one of the neighbors decides to have a very loud party. Fine. I have many loud parties in my day. I'm not going to bitch. However, by about midnight the ENTIRE damn cul-de-sac is full of cars. I mean jammed with the bastards. No possible exit except on foot. My wife has a plane to catch at 3:00 AM. So I go to the neighbors house, knock on the door, ask for the owner, and explain my situation. No sweat, he says, I'll get some people to move the cars. I'm thinking, "Nice. Its going to be cool." Oh no. 45 minutes later, still nothing. I go back over and am a bit more insistent this time. He is a bit grumpier, but says he'll handle it. Its now 1:30 AM. THe wife has to get rolling to get to the airport, get through security, etc. I go back again, and this time he tells me fuck off, they'll leave when its done. And I proceed to lose my shit on him. Now, I'm not huge, 6'1" 205, but my wife says I seem to grow quite a bit when I'm angry. I also grew up in a series of shitty little New Mexico towns where violence is most definitely the answer to everything. The offending neighbor is 5'3", maybe 120. There are about 50 people at this party, and its like an old EF Hutton commercial. All sounds cease, and everybody stares at the pinche gringo. Several of my other neighbors heard me shouting at him. I told him that he had ten fucking minutes to cut a trail for my car or I was going to wade into that party with a 12 gauge and a machete. I told him he would have to leave town or I would hunt him like a goddamn dog, that if my wife missed her plane, I would beat him to death with my bare fucking hands and I would nail his scrawny dead ass to the front door for his kids to find when they got home from school. Some comments related to his performing oral sex on animals, his legitimacy, etc. All this accompanied by expletives in Spanish and English. He tried to bow up on me for a sec, but seemed to think better of it, and started to shout at his guests to move their cars. I go home, cars get moved, wife gets to airport, all is well. The next day, I took a six pack over, knocked on the door, and apologized for my behavior, but explained that I was not the 78 year old man who lived there before, and that we were going to have to come to an understanding. We sat in his backyard, he rolled one, we drank my beers, exchanged stories and it ended with us as buds. We have BBQ'd several times since then and get along fine. Here is why I'm pissed off. He moved 2 weeks ago. Now we have new neighbors. Hood rats who got an inheritance from a dead grandpa. We are already missing my Weed Eater from the garden shed, my step sons bicycle, and several other neighbors are missing items as well. Pot smoke billows from the windows 24 - 7, accompanied by top volume gangsta rap. Assorted low lifes come and go at all hours. The kicker? He has a party scheduled for Saturday night. My blood pressure is up 40 points already, and I forsee very bad things.
| I have changed my personal exploring ethics code. From now on it will be: "Take only aimed shots, leave only hobo corpses." Copper scrappers, meth heads and homeless beware. The Jonsered cometh among you, bringing fear and dread. |
| Debi
Location: Worcester County, MA Gender: Female Total Likes: 23 likes
| | | Re: Neighbors < Reply # 14 on 11/13/2009 9:09 PM > | Reply with Quote
| | | I love a story with a happy ending! With that being said, the same thing happened at my families vacation home. Bunch of crack smoking losers who gained a big inheritance bought the house in front of us. We have a rental apartment attached to the home, and we lost all of our tenants within 2 years because of their bullshit. Calling the cops didn't deter them, would just quiet them down for a couple hours - sometimes. One night a bunch of us were sitting around drinking and getting ourselves pretty worked up about the neighbors. Then my cousin hatched this brilliant plan. We went down the street and purchased a plastic gas can. We brought it home and filled it with water. Every night there was some sort of disturbance from the neighbors, so we waited for it. Sure enough, huge pissing match between two of the neighbors in our common driveway followed by a beer bottle being broken on our house. At that point, my then husband started his emmy winning performance of not being able to take the neighbors shit anymore. He started yelling and screaming outside, until all the neighbors were paying attention. Then he grabbed the gas tank and started towards their house. My cousin followed him, acting like he was trying to calm him down. My husband started dousing their porch and house with the "gas" and another of my friends started chasing him around saying "whose got a lighter - whose got a lighter?!" You could hear somebody else yelling from inside our house "wait till they go to bed and we'll do it then". My neighbors were freaking the hell out by that point! And although we had occasional problems with them after that, it was few and far between. Usually all you have to do is show them that your way sicker than they'd ever dare to be!
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