She was probably raped when she was younger. I've seen that "repetition compulsion" happen to a lot of girls. It's a weird, ironic thing.

Still! Does not constitute as a reason to tolerate someone who's disrespectful to you no matter how bad their life was. So fuck her. She either gets help or you tell her to piss off.

BTW, I'm a non-cheating, non-lying female who is neither crazy nor wants to steal people's bf's. I'll be your friend!

Posted by Oryx She was probably raped when she was younger. I've seen that "repetition compulsion" happen to a lot of girls. It's a weird, ironic thing. Still! Does not constitute as a reason to tolerate someone who's disrespectful to you no matter how bad their life was. So fuck her. She either gets help or you tell her to piss off. BTW, I'm a non-cheating, non-lying female who is neither crazy nor wants to steal people's bf's. I'll be your friend!

I'd say very, very few things in this world really makes it "ok" to be shitty or disrespectful of someone else.


I understand the rape/abuse/repetition compulsion concept, as I grown to accept that some people just have problems. Period. By the same token, if I do not believe that somebody really wants to become a better person or is really trying, then what it is worth?

There is plenty of evidence suggesting that people that lie frequently have mental defects.

P.S. be my buddy

Sure it's easy to understand WHY, but that still doesn't mean anyone should have to put up with it. I see people put up with people's bullshit all the time, but they won't leave because they feel bad about their problems. All that leads to is getting hurt. You can't fix anyone. Ever. It's nice and all that you care, but it will never end well. If Mother Theresa were to punch me in the face I'd punch her back. Doesn't matter what kind of person she is, if someone treats me like shit I will not tolerate it. The end.

Yay friends *hug*

Posted by Oryx She was probably raped when she was younger. I've seen that "repetition compulsion" happen to a lot of girls. It's a weird, ironic thing. Still! Does not constitute as a reason to tolerate someone who's disrespectful to you no matter how bad their life was. So fuck her. She either gets help or you tell her to piss off. BTW, I'm a non-cheating, non-lying female who is neither crazy nor wants to steal people's bf's. I'll be your friend!

I've been raped, several times by the same guy.

I don't act like that.

If that's her excuse she can shove it up her ass and close her legs.


Lets start a PUT YOUR FUCKING PANTS ON WHORE club...that doesn't have to be the name...

Do yourself and your sanity a favor...don't pick up the phone, screen your calls, don't give your cell number out and tell this bitch you want her out of your life.

I know, it's harsh, but sometimes, it's the only way.

People think I'm weird when I don't get involved, but look at this way...I'm a lot happier and a lot saner than they are and my cellphone bill is a hell of a lot lower. I have my own shit to try to clean up and fix, I don't need some dumb bitches shit to add to it. People try this with me where I work, it doesn't fly, at all. Two people have my cell number and only one of them really uses it, the other just sends me text messages when he needs semi professional help with work related problems.

Also...not all of us are like that. For instance, I'm in the middle of a weird type of personal crisis, but it doesn't give me a license to go fuck around and ruin something I've worked very hard on for the past two and a half years. Some of us have morals, moreso than others, but some of us don't fuck everything that moves, nor do we want to.

If you really wanna piss this girl off...go buy her a dildo as a gift and attach a note to it that says, "Why don't you use this for a while, instead of keeping your crotch open like an all you can eat/fuck buffet." I can assure you she'll never talk to you again after that.

Shael

I never make friends with girls either. Next thing you know, you're married, and then you gotta burry them in the yard. Fuckin nosy neighbors and their stupid questions. Then the cops are there asking stupid questions. Whatdya mean a felony?! DON'T TALK TO GIRLS. "If it's got tits or wheels, sooner or later it'll give ya trouble." Words of wisdom I read on a truckers mudflap once.

Posted by junkyard I never make friends with girls either. Next thing you know, you're married, and then you gotta burry them in the yard. Fuckin nosy neighbors and their stupid questions. Then the cops are there asking stupid questions. Whatdya mean a felony?! DON'T TALK TO GIRLS. "If it's got tits or wheels, sooner or later it'll give ya trouble." Words of wisdom I read on a truckers mudflap once.

Silly idiot, that's what lime dust is for.

I read the first couple of replies, and it took to getting into karma that It went from "okay, this guy is having a hard time, it's nice to give him support" to "Holy fuck I just walked into the middle of a circle jerk pity party"

First, You chose wrong in your friendship. Take a bit of responsibility for yourself.

Second, Karma is not you special "eye for and eye" cosmic revenge clause. No, she doesn't "have what's coming" to her. No instead, she has her own lessons she is trying to learn subconsciously. That is all.

Closing remarks: It sucks that you got yourself caught in drama. Next time either place a little distance between, or completely avoid people who are not ethical.

Does she still belong to UER?

Posted by jukebox fuckup She has been "seeing" a guy since, but fucking some other guy on the side. She called me in a panic because some girl called "her guy" to hang out. I told her as it is (ie. that she doesn't have a leg to stand on because she has been sleeping around and gave this poor guy HPV), but I was *nice* and *politically correct* about it.

Posted by Dresden I've been raped, several times by the same guy. I don't act like that. If that's her excuse she can shove it up her ass and close her legs. Lets start a PUT YOUR FUCKING PANTS ON WHORE club...that doesn't have to be the name...

Well, of course it doesn't happen to everyone. I've seen my share of trauma in many ways, but I'm not like that either. It comes down to a psychological thing and depends a lot on how the specific person deals with life's bullshit, which also has to do with emotional maturity.

But anyways, yeah best to just let these people go. Like dirt said, they'll learn eventually and it isn't our job to make sure when that happens.

Posted by dirt I read the first couple of replies, and it took to getting into karma that It went from "okay, this guy is having a hard time, it's nice to give him support" to "Holy fuck I just walked into the middle of a circle jerk pity party" First, You chose wrong in your friendship. Take a bit of responsibility for yourself. Second, Karma is not you special "eye for and eye" cosmic revenge clause. No, she doesn't "have what's coming" to her. No instead, she has her own lessons she is trying to learn subconsciously. That is all. Closing remarks: It sucks that you got yourself caught in drama. Next time either place a little distance between, or completely avoid people who are not ethical.

Well.. yeah... but if I cut out everybody that did something shady or something that I do not support, I would get veeeery lonely veeery quickly. I think most people would do that (get lonely quickly). It's also a question of where to draw the line... ie. I used to smoke cigarettes and I know the majority of my friends did not support that, do I not deserve them because of it?

After a friend of mine passed this May, I try not to be so "harsh" and "judgmental" because life is short, ect... and it would leave an impression if many people that I am not currently close to, for whatever reason, dropped dead randomly one day. In the long run, despite any spats, the majority of people that I kept in my life for over a month do not ever deserve to die of a horrible death and, if it happened, I'd still probably cry over their grave.

I do understand your point, as I do give my friends shit for some of the things they do (ie. "why did you get pregnant with a drug dealer's kid? This will not end well").




Oh, and DevilC (and everybody else that asked), this person was never on UER. She is not part of any of the exploring forums.

Posted by Oryx Well, of course it doesn't happen to everyone. I've seen my share of trauma in many ways, but I'm not like that either. It comes down to a psychological thing and depends a lot on how the specific person deals with life's bullshit, which also has to do with emotional maturity. But anyways, yeah best to just let these people go. Like dirt said, they'll learn eventually and it isn't our job to make sure when that happens.

Some of them like to endanger others with their stupidity. Like my co worker's friend. I really have no sympathy when they get that bad.She should have learned. Bitch came into my work the other day and got mad because I was short with her. She only came in to start drama. Sometimes, you just have to say leave and never come back or I will have the police remove you.

Let them learn. Over there. Where they can't hurt you or the people you love.

Posted by Shael Do yourself and your sanity a favor...don't pick up the phone, screen your calls, don't give your cell number out and tell this bitch you want her out of your life. I know, it's harsh, but sometimes, it's the only way. People think I'm weird when I don't get involved, but look at this way...I'm a lot happier and a lot saner than they are and my cellphone bill is a hell of a lot lower. I have my own shit to try to clean up and fix, I don't need some dumb bitches shit to add to it. People try this with me where I work, it doesn't fly, at all. Two people have my cell number and only one of them really uses it, the other just sends me text messages when he needs semi professional help with work related problems. Also...not all of us are like that. For instance, I'm in the middle of a weird type of personal crisis, but it doesn't give me a license to go fuck around and ruin something I've worked very hard on for the past two and a half years. Some of us have morals, moreso than others, but some of us don't fuck everything that moves, nor do we want to. If you really wanna piss this girl off...go buy her a dildo as a gift and attach a note to it that says, "Why don't you use this for a while, instead of keeping your crotch open like an all you can eat/fuck buffet." I can assure you she'll never talk to you again after that. Shael

Haha... well said.

I'm thinking of sending her a note clearing up some of the crazy shit she said to me, but NOT asking for her friendship. I think she is extremely jealous and insecure.

ie. she accused me of "looking down on her" for things that she told me in the past that she was insecure about (her "partying"/drug habits- apparently some of her friends were planning an 'intervention' and this girl is always convinced that people are judging her, and the fact that I got into grad school and she did not)

I let her smoke in front of me and NEVER complained. If anything, I got a tiny bit nervous of my future going down the shitter if a cop drove by, but that is about it. The grad school thing? Shit... she & I graduated college the same week. When she came up for MY graduation party, my parents took her to a nice Italian restaurant and paid for her meal as my friends and family congratulated the both of us. She came to my dorm the day before MY graduation party and I surprised her with a cookie-cake that congratulated her.


She also brought up this time we went to a BDSM ball for shits and giggles... it was me, her, her buddy, and her fuckbuddy. She & her fuckbuddy wanted to leave as a band I like just took the stage, so I asked them to wait a little longer (it was 2 hours in to an event that I paid 25 dollars for). Her buddy & I watched Voltaire perform and then tried to find the girl & her fuckbuddy. They were nowhere to be found, so I turned to her friend and said "I betcha they're fucking in the bathroom". ...sure enough, the girl and her fuckbuddy emerge from the bathroom and the girl tells me they had sex. I high-fived her and, over a month after this incident, she tells me how this bothered her.

You have no idea how ridiculous it was listening to her on the phone... "it's so horrible how you judge me. You said that he and I were having sex in the bathroom at the BDSM ball and- even though we did- how dare you say such things?!"

Probably jealous and insecure...but on top of that, she probably has no idea and doesn't care what effects the things she says and does have on people around her. Which is a problem.

The self absorbed have a tendency to drive me batshit crazy after a while. From what I'm reading here, she's not only a card carrying member of that club, but probably one of it's founders.

Something will happen to make her see that and usually it won't be good. I just hope you're standing far enough away from the ensuing explosion and backlash.

Shael

Oh, and + on the HPV being pretty common.

Posted by AnAppleSnail Oh, and + on the HPV being pretty common.

...is it common to have no clue which of your 7 partners within the past year it came from?

Posted by jukebox fuckup Haha... well said. I'm thinking of sending her a note clearing up some of the crazy shit she said to me, but NOT asking for her friendship. I think she is extremely jealous and insecure....

Clearly you have a lot of built up anger and resentment toward her too. If she's so beyond worth as a friend, why are you holding onto all this? It's like you only did nice things for/to her with the expectation they'd be reciprocated, and are incredibly upset when they weren't and are tallying up every last instance to total strangers. It's a bit obsessive.

Sorry you got fucked. Good luck not becoming too involved next time.

Posted by jukebox fuckup ...is it common to have no clue which of your 7 partners within the past year it came from?

Honestly, yes. It is common. I know you've brandishing this as your high holy point of anger against this girl but it is VERY common, most types don't show symptoms, and even those type that do show symptoms can take months to ever show themselves. You can have HPV and show symptoms from an infection you caught several partners ago all of a sudden, even if the person you are currently with is clean, or past several people you've slept with are clean. It's honestly almost impossible to pin the blame for HPV. Condoms aren't entirely effective against it as it is an STI and skin against skin can cause a spread. There are also over 40 different types, and many people do not even know they are carriers.

From the Center for Disease Control and Prevention: At least 50% of sexually active men and women acquire genital HPV infection at some point in their lives.

You very likely have one of the strains yourself. Most people here probably do.

Posted by hydrotherapy Clearly you have a lot of built up anger and resentment toward her too. If she's so beyond worth as a friend, why are you holding onto all this? It's like you only did nice things for/to her with the expectation they'd be reciprocated, and are incredibly upset when they weren't and are tallying up every last instance to total strangers. It's a bit obsessive. Sorry you got fucked. Good luck not becoming too involved next time.

You're right.

Your "best" friend of a few years fucking you over is no tiny feat.

I'd think most people would get pissed off about it, no?
I never said I was above human emotion. I think I have a right to be pissed, given the situation.

I'd consider this healthy venting, honestly.
Is that not the point of this board? To vent and talk about things that pissed us off with people, many of which are strangers?
I am not being destructive to myself or others, either.

Posted by hydrotherapy Honestly, yes. It is common. I know you've brandishing this as your high holy point of anger against this girl but it is VERY common, most types don't show symptoms, and even those type that do show symptoms can take months to ever show themselves. You can have HPV and show symptoms from an infection you caught several partners ago all of a sudden, even if the person you are currently with is clean, or past several people you've slept with are clean. It's honestly almost impossible to pin the blame for HPV. Condoms aren't entirely effective against it as it is an STI and skin against skin can cause a spread. There are also over 40 different types, and many people do not even know they are carriers. From the Center for Disease Control and Prevention: At least 50% of sexually active men and women acquire genital HPV infection at some point in their lives. You very likely have one of the strains yourself. Most people here probably do.

No. I had an exam over the summer and I am clean.

She has one of the 40 types of genital HPV.

It is most commonly spread through unprotected sex. I have not had unprotected sex with 7 different people ever, let alone in a single year. I do not know many people that desire having unprotected sex with 7 different partners a year. I do not know many people that have unprotected sex with men that are engaged and obviously have another sex partner, either.
Therefore, I think it is safe to assume that having unprotected sex with 7 different people a year is not a standard operating procedure.



"For those who choose to be sexually active, condoms may lower the risk of HPV, if used all the time and the right way...Individuals can also lower their chances of getting HPV by being in a mutually faithful relationship with someone who has had no or few sex partners... For those who are not in long-term mutually monogamous relationships, limiting the number of sex partners and choosing a partner less likely to be infected may lower the risk of HPV. Partners less likely to be infected include those who have had no or few prior sex partners. But it may not be possible to determine if a partner who has been sexually active in the past is currently infected."
(from CDC, http://www.cdc.gov...ct-HPV.htm#prevent)