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2024-05-08 06:17:19
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cdevon
Location: west county Gender: Male Total Likes: 909 likes
| | | | Re: Old brain face plants < Reply # 16 on 6/6/2010 9:39 AM > | Reply with Quote
| | | getting old Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys on the table. Put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table and notice that the can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first. But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my chequebook off the table and see that there is only one cheque left. My extra cheques are in my desk in the study so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking. I'm going to look for my cheques but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. The Coke is getting warm and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye - they need water. I put the Coke on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk but first I'm going to water the flowers. I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realise that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table so I decide to put it back in the living room where it belongs... but first I'll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do. At the end of the day: The car isn't washed. The bills aren't paid. There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter. The flowers don't have enough water. There is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book. I can't find the remote. I can't find my glasses. And I don't remember what I did with the car keys. Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all damn day and I'm really tired. I realise this is a serious problem and I'll try to get some help for it but first I'll quickly check my e-mail...
| When I say I'm 'clean and sober', it means I've showered and I'm headed to the liquor store. |
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