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 | Not alone...
entry by Path Walker
2/2/2006 11:16 PM
| It is a nice feeling to know you're not alone.
I'll go off on the tangent now, in the hopes of getting it out of my system early. When I was younger, elementary to high-school age, I used to run away from home. Some may blame it on my parents divorcing when I was eight, and the custody wars (not battles) that ensued, but I say it was more my views on life and the world around me, and my love of exploring alone. But, after a while (anywhere from a few hours to a few days), being alone just wasn't cool any more. Sleeping under bridges lost its appeal, running and hiding from the parents that were avidly looking for me (as though I'd never come back) was no longer fun, so I'd return home (or to a friend's house whose parents would contact my parents to come pick me up). Similarly, I haven't been "romantically" alone since my sophomore year in high school - I've literally had at least one girlfriend (I was such a bad guy in high school) at all times since the early 90's, continuing on through my marriage (which was rocky) and afterward to my current relationship (we're committed, which is to say "engaged" but with a smaller diamond ring - however we've been living together for six years now, which puts us one year out from "common law marriage" in NY state). I have an innate fear of being alone, some times. I do enjoy alone time during the day, and some times at night (as in, when Anasazi's asleep) usually because it gives me time to write; but my solace is that she'll either come home from work or that she's just a room away on the bed. A share-able (is that a word?) example would be, perhaps, to ask you, dear reader, to recall the moment you stumbled upon the website upon which you're reading my journal; if you were anything like I was, there was a moment of clarity, a sort of epiphany on a monumental scale, when I realized that I was not alone in my zestful desire to explore abandoned (and not-so-abandoned) places. It's that feeling that you're not alone.
The theme here, the thesis if you will, is that it's always nice to find out you're not alone.
Now, back to the topic at hand: recently, I acquired some equipment that some of my local fellow explorers might consider rather unorthodox, things they might never consider wearing/bringing on an explore. Namely, an Oakley AP vest and black pack (the MechanixWear M-Pact gloves in "Covert(55)" are, shall we say, more acceptable or standard fare). The reason for making these purchases is that I am trying to assemble a proper UE assortment of gear which I plan to adequately load for any and all purposes, so that I am always prepared to explore; however there is more to this story.
I have always (since childhood) had a penchant for the military and similarly structured or similarly operating law enforcement units - the tactics, the gear, the tools, the weaponry. When I think of doing an explore, I plan things out in a way that is clearly similar to planning an "operation". I have a tactical mind (of sorts). During my time with the Boy Scouts... Well, I won't bore you with details, but suffice to say that I turned a rag-tag group of boys into a finely tuned collection of military-minded young men - while being one of those young men myself (the adult leaders of the troop I was part of left nearly everything as far as the running of the troop up to us boys). At night, we would sneak amongst the campsites of our rivals performing what could be likened to "surgical strikes", liberating vast quantities of edibles and potables as well as the occasional gear item. The more rogue members of the group would actively slice guylines and tentflaps, though stealth and subtlety were more our focus; better for the "enemy" to never know we were there until they noticed things like hot chocolate packets and MRE's were missing than to actively advertise our activities by causing blatant vandalism. Needless to say, I quickly put an end to such acts among my troop. (Look at that, I bored you with details anyway...)
Urban exploration is more than just a hobby, in my mind; more than something I just do. I like to plan it out in exquisite detail beforehand, do thorough recon on new locations, dig deep into historical records to find out all I can about the area and the site itself, make sure to have the proper gear for any- and everything I might encounter, and execute the explore as flawlessly as possible. Certainly, every now and again it is great to escape such a regimented structure by doing an impromptu, spontaneous explore (such as a number of my explores have been recently), but it has become clear to me that no one that I currently "run" with considers explores in the same regard that I do (and that is not meant as criticism against any of them) and would more than likely not accompany me on any of the admittedly risky adventures I would like to embark upon in the near future once my gear list is complete. Certainly they love to know the history of a location in as much detail as they can find, and I thank and commend them for sharing my views on exploration in that regard - were it not for them, I might have felt alone in that arena as well. But they certainly are not the type to strap on such gear as the aforementioned vest and pack, let alone deck themselves out in dark grey BDU's, black balaclava, gloves and combat boots and employ the tactics I would employ regarding escape/evasion if the situation warranted.
Upon realizing that I was heading in a different direction than my esteemed comrades, I fell into a sort of funk - indeed in my local area I seem to be the only one who wishes to add such a flair, if you will, to my explores; it seemed I was alone again.
Well, while I may be alone in my area, I have recently found that I'm certainly not alone in the country or the world; an entire board exists (actually there are two) dedicated specifically to the kind of exploring I wish to accomplish. Pursuing this goal has several risks: exploring alone, exploring more high-profile and active locations, etc. However I think the rewards will be well worth it. Toward that end, I have begun the preliminary work on three sites within a ten-mile radius that I would like to focus on, and have plans to run covert explores of less-risky locations as warm-ups for my future targets.
So I would like to thank all the explorers of a similar taint for unknowingly making me aware that I'm not alone.
It's a good feeling.
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