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UER Forum > Journal Index > Krenta's Journal > 18 June 2004 (Viewed 2052 times)
18 June 2004
entry by Krenta 
6/25/2004 6:32 AM

Worked for a while writing advertising copy for a sex-toy catalog, but I found myself in "one of those moods", and after looking at the most recent product description I'd done and seeing "Ding dong this dildo's red", I decided the customer would probably be happier if I took an extra day on the project. I'd been thinking all day about the University library, and decided that it deserved some personal, intimate attention from me. The rooftop, I figured, should provide a great view of downtown.

I gathered together my camera equipment and headed out at around four in the afternoon. I was only blocks from the building when I realized I had forgotten to bring a lens shade with. Since it's a well-documented fact that you can't take a truly professional photograph without a lens hood, I retraced my steps and spent a fruitless hour searching my apartment for the shade. I can't imagine what happened to it; maybe one of the mystery cats took it. By the time I gave up looking it was almost five-thirty, too late to take pictures anyway, so I went to Plan B.

With nothing more than a minimag flashlight, some lockpicks, and a heavy, dark-green janitor's coverall, I returned to the university. It was cloudy and about 70, but the coverall was deathly hot. If I must suffer to pursue my art, so be it. My father went through far worse in college. I got to the library just after six - I was walking slowly, so as not to pass out from polyester-induced heatstroke - and found the front doors locked. I didn't care; I'd been expecting that, and besides, front doors are for normal people.

A slow walk along the sidewalk brought me to an emergency exit that was propped open with a metal bucket. After looking around carefully to make sure nobody was watching, I opened the door and stepped through, being careful not to overturn the bucket, which was half-full of cigarette butts. I stood in a vast, dimly-lit passageway, painted in peeling paint a shade last fashionable decades before I was born, and lit only by a few sickly flickering fluorescent tubes. A back hallway, in other words. It smelled faintly of smoke, and I almost turned around and left, but but I reasoned that a hallway such as this was probably better ventilated than a sandstone cave, so I wasn't too worried. It was probably one of the fluorescent ballasts shorting out.

I followed the dark and gloomy concrete passage towards the center of this vast, art-deco monument to learning and soon found myself on the ground floor of the library proper. For a leading midwestern two-year college, the quantity of books on hand was greatly disappointing. More than half the floorspace was devoted to row after row of computers, their blue screens lending the room an eldritch aura of mystery and intrigue.

I had wanted to make it to the roof, to stand high above the 7th Street ghetto and look down upon the Burger King with impunity, to feel the cool breeze of summer caressing my face, to above all remind myself what it truly means to be free. I couldn't, though, because there was no roof access. There were no more floors above the first - just a vast open space of glass and steel that on a more narrative day would have been lit a rich golden color by the rays of the setting sun, but today just looked drab and depressing.

Since I hadn't brought a camera with - curse that stupid, missing lens hood! - I stole a little wooden pencil from the information desk to prove I'd really been here, then retraced my steps and let myself out the way I came in and hurried home to get out of the stupid coverall, have something to drink, and take a shower. That first Diet Fresca tasted like ambrosia! Let me tell you, there's nothing better than a carbonated beverage after a successful live infiltration!


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UER Forum > Journal Index > Krenta's Journal > 18 June 2004 (Viewed 2052 times)


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