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Friday, October 30th, 2009
arbiets match frei. | god damn. I work nearly all day except for 4-6 hours of sleep. gotta answer the call of duty, when thats done, go work on my company, endlessly. however, it does keep me from getting bored.
just fuckin, its exhausting, I wonder how long til I collapse. |
| Thursday, October 29th, 2009
now with 4000kg of linerar pulling power! | I just accidently a refrigerator under tension from a winch with me between the fridge and my truck, is this bad?
that, my friends, fucking hurt. |
| Wednesday, October 28th, 2009
FTW | over two months later, and my former best friend still wont talk. wont txt.email,, nothing.
and to make things moar the fuck awesome, A guy I hired for my part time business, to give him a chance/take a risk on someone that they might end updoing well in life...on the FIRST DAY of work, I had to convert my 1 tonne pick-up with screwy tie rod end and 3/4tonne of junk in the back, into a EMS vehicle to rush him to the hospital for multi substance overdose.
5HT agonists, monoamine reuptake inhibitors, GABAa modulators, monoamine releasers. *claps hands*
I hope hes okay tho. |
| Sunday, September 13th, 2009
yay | | I met a girl I like. Life is looking slightly upwards. |
| Friday, September 11th, 2009
feeling better. | I've decided to try and just make positive difference in the world, as much as I can. I still miss and grieve over loosing my friend, but I'll have to accept it, accept that either I've lost a friend forever more, or that I'll have pass my dues before I earn my friend back.
In the mean time, I'm just going to try to be the best person I can, and help people however I can, as doing that makes me happy. |
| Wednesday, September 9th, 2009
kitties | | I love kitties. I gots one for my new place, and am getting another to keep it company while I put in long days. They're so cute and loving. and make sleeping just a little easier. Not that it comes easy for me. |
| Tuesday, September 8th, 2009
a bit better | | going draining today was fun. Helped lift my spirits a bit. I need to shake this emo shit off. |
| Sunday, September 6th, 2009
I miss my best friend. | I fucked up and pushed my best friend away, and it fucking sucks. I should of perhaps seen help for PTSD earlier. But I was to pig headed. I guess all I can really say is I miss my friend, and figured journal is the place to post inane crap like that. (if not, sorry mods, I though journal was for more or less anything non offensive and of a personal nature if I fucked up, delete it and I wont do it again)
if you, my former friend are reading this. I really do miss you, and wish you no harm. I'm almost tearing up here just after a little field exercise.
no thats a lie, I am more then tearing up. I'm fucking crying while sitting in CADPAT.
I hope some day you'll email or call me me or something. Cause I really do miss you. The best friend I ever had, who could always cheer me up some how. But I don't expect it, cause I'm pretty sure I blew it.
I fucked up and was wrong, I admit it. But too late do I notice the errors made. I should write an After Action Report on how to fuck up a friendship, and learn from my mistakes. [/lame attempt at humor]
as Tupac said, fuck the world. |
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