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This is a tribute to your grandfathers dirty joke, thats right the art-form (if you can call it that) of the Limerick. Lets see what you've got.
I'll open with this little gem.
There once was clergyman's daughter,
Who resented the pony he'd bought her,
Till she found that it's dong,
Was as hard and as long,
As the prayers her father had taught her.
She married a fellow named Tony,
Who soon caught her fucking the pony,
Said he, "What's it got,
My dear, that I've not?"
Sighed she, "Just a yard-long bologna."
"Ya know.... if I were born a few decades earlier I'd probably be locked in an asylum instead of sneaking into them" :D |
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The limerick's my favorite poetic form
because perversion is usually the norm
and in these childish rhymes
there's usually sex crimes
or at least someone rubbing something warm
You betcha |
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Posted by G to the Race
The limerick's my favorite poetic form
because perversion is usually the norm
and in these childish rhymes
there's usually sex crimes
or at least someone rubbing something warm
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I have a giant book of them with chapters such as Organs, Strange Intercourse, Buggery, Zoophily, Excrement, etc.
I'm thinking of posting one a week to this thread.
"Ya know.... if I were born a few decades earlier I'd probably be locked in an asylum instead of sneaking into them" :D |
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Back in the days of BBSes I ran across this one that's widely known all over the internet now... This is fairly similar to how I first saw it;
Little Miss Mary Brown
said no man could lay her down,
Until one day, over the hill came piss pot Pete
with twenty pounds of swinging meat.
He laid her on the grass
and put it in her ass,
but little Mary, she blew a fart
that knocked Pete's balls apart
So back over the hill went piss pot Pete
with twenty pounds of shredded beef
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Yeah, I don't have anything good... but I do have a couple bad ones...
A shapely young girl from Lynn, Mass.
Has a really magnificent ass;
Not rounded and pink,
As you probably think-
It's gray, has long ears and eats grass.
Lady Burnside sat on her backside,
Dusting her frontside with peroxide.
For she knew on the whole,
Gentlemen prefer blondes.
A nasty young thing from Peru
Filled up her sweet parts with glue.
She said with a grin,
"They paid to get in,
Now they'll pay to get out again, too."
These are all from the book <u>MORE Jokes for the John</u> copyright 1963
"She ain't no Cinderella when she's gettin' undressed, 'cause she rocks it like the naughty Wicked Witch of the West!" -Nickelback -Shakin' Hands-
"What makes bad kids bad? What makes them do the things they do? BOOZE, BABES, & BAD GUYS!" -Scum of the Earth -I Am The Scum- |
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There once was a hermit named Dave,
Who kept a dead whore in his cave
Her face looked like shit,
she was missing a tit,
but think of the money he saved!
(My grade 12 physics teacher taught me that one...)
hi i like cars |
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Why is the movie Christine popping into my head...............
Ezekiel 25:17 |
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To his clubfooted child said Lord Stipple,
As he poured his post-prandial tipple,
"Your mother's behaviour
Gave pain to Our Saviour,
And that's why He made you a cripple."
Exploring is like tattoos... They stopped being cool in 2005
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There once was a man from Boston.
He drove an American Austin.
He had room for his ass,
and a gallon of gas.
But his balls fell out
and he lost 'em.
Ezekiel 25:17 |
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Jeepdave from Campobello
was a most unusual fellow
He had a 13 inch cock
and I swear it could talk
When he stuck it in me I heard it say, "Hello"
[last edit 1/31/2011 12:49 AM by G to the Race - edited 1 times]
You betcha |
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LMAO! Good one G. Altho you shorted me a little 
Ezekiel 25:17 |
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Posted by bandi
There once was a hermit named Dave,
Who kept a dead whore in his cave
Her face looked like shit,
she was missing a tit,
but think of the money he saved!
(My grade 12 physics teacher taught me that one...)
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Was his name 'Dave?'
"The truth is knowable. But probably not, ever, incontrovertible."
--Don DeLillo
PICS |
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There once was a fellow named Dick
Who was cursed with a spiraling prick
So he set out to hunt
For a screw-twisted cunt
That would match with his corkscrewy dick
He found one and took it to bed
And then in chagrin he dropped dead
For the spiraling snatch
It never would match
The damn thing had a left-handed thread!
"Ya know.... if I were born a few decades earlier I'd probably be locked in an asylum instead of sneaking into them" :D |
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Not a Limerick by any stretch. Just an old toast from my navy days.
"Here's to the hole that never heals,
The more you rub it the better it feels.
All the soap this side of Hell
Can't wash away that fishy smell."
Wine and women, song and vice,
Syphilis, blue balls, crabs and lice,
We've had 'em all, by Jesus Christ,
Gentlemen, the Queen."
"The truth is knowable. But probably not, ever, incontrovertible."
--Don DeLillo
PICS |
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Posted by jeepdave
Why is the movie Christine popping into my head...............
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I thought about this all day... and it finally came to me!
hi i like cars |
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Posted by bandi
I thought about this all day... and it finally came to me!
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Excellent Cuntingham!
Ezekiel 25:17 |
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"Isn't that what you do with shit? Scrape it up with a little shovel?"
hi i like cars |
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A dude from Campbellford named Bandi
had a trick that came in quite handy
with a flick of his tongue
he could tickle your bung
while eating your cock like candy
You betcha |
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BWAHAHAH
hi i like cars |
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Ever hear of KublaKhan?
Canada's most prolific john
he paid a hooker for something called Hot Carl
shat on her face which made her snarl
"Goddamit wait till I get the Saran Wrap on!!!"
You betcha |
Ethics
