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I'm not usually one for pouring out grief publicly but here goes!
My Dad was killed last year. I come from a farming family in Wales. My grandparents set up a farm and caravan park after the war. They had four sons. My Dad was the eldest. The youngest son was 14years his junior and was terribly spoilt by his mother. He was born as the business was becoming successful and so never really understood the amount of work that had been put in. My grandfather died a few years ago and after this my Dad and his youngest brother were thrown in as business partners. We were always a close family. I could ask any of my uncles for anything. They would always help. The youngest brother lived quite a high flying lifestyle. He would take long holidays, buy expensive cars, have big parties. Our family were totally different but we still got on. we never really liked his wife... she thinks too much of money! Anyway... my uncle always liked to drink but over the last few years he got much much worse. He was constantly in trouble with the police... he believed they were picking on him and he was regularly done for assault and racial abuse (he doesn't like the English). He was violent towards his wife who always came to my Dad for help. We stuck by him though-- as families do. The week before the incident he was let off a racial abuse charge.
On the morning of the 4th of Oct his wife came to my Mum and Dad's house and told them that he had thrown £20,000 and all her clothes into the garden (she had moved out the week before). My parents were reluctant to go over but my Dad never refused to help anyone and so they went. As they were clearing the stuff up... my uncle came out and started yelling abuse at his wife and my mum- calling her an English bitch and telling her to F off back to England (my mum is from Scotland). They tried to reason with him but he was crazy. they were worried because his 15yr old son was still in the house. Eventually the two women backed away and my Dad went to try and reason with his brother. My Dad had been in denial about the problems but it all came out this morning. My mum saw my Dad propelled to the ground. His arms were limp by his side. He went over backwards and smashed his head on the concrete. She rushed over and screamed for an ambulance. My uncle told her not to make a fuss. My aunt did nothing. It was their son who finally called the ambulance. As my mum was attempting CPR my uncle leaned over to her and whispered 'All women are evil' then backed away.
My Dad was taken first to the local hospital and then to a specialist neurological centre in Liverpool. He was there for a week but never regained consciousness. They couldn't ease the pressure in his skull. My aunt never bothered coming to visit. We stayed at the hospital all week... and have never been in such an amazing-- but heartbreaking place. Even though we were in such a terrible state of suffering, we looked around us and there was always someone worse off. There was such a strange sense of camaraderie there- everyone was going through it together. Some people had been in that ICU for months. He died officially on the 10th Oct, 2 weeks before his and my mum's 25th wedding anniversary and one month from his 60th birthday.
My uncle denied everything and we were put through 10 months of misery until the criminal trial last month which lasted 3 weeks. he never took responsibility for what he had done. He never showed any sorrow for his brothers death, even claiming at one point that my Dad was the violent one of the family. He was found guilty of manslaughter and sentenced to 4 years in prison. He will be out in 2.
The businesses... which my Dad and Grandfather worked so hard to build up will probably have to be sold as my uncle still owns half. My uncle's wife is trying to get her hands on as much of it as she can. She couldn't have planned the situation better. My family has been destroyed by this. I no longer speak to my grandmother as I cannot bear to hear her make excuses for her youngest son. She cried when he went to prison... she never cried when my Dad died. The 15yr old cousin is going the same way as his father already... and though I pity him (he has had a terrible childhood)... I cannot stand to see him either. His younger brother is 11 and I don't think he fully understands what is happening.
The one thing that gives us great comfort in this time is the decision we took to donate some of my Dad's organs. It wasn't something we ever considered but we were lucky to have a very kind nurse who gently suggested the idea to us. Both his kidneys, some heart valves and heart patches were retrieved. One kidney went to a man in London, another to a man in Scotland. Both were successfully transplanted. Two heart valves and a heart patch went to three young children. The other heart patch is still in storage. The thought that we have been able to give people hope when we had none is a comforting one. I think if I can achieve anything with this post it would be to urge people to sign up to the Organ Donor Registry wherever you are.
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Wow Celtes,my sincere condolences on the loss of your Dad. 
It never ceases to amaze me how much destruction greed can cause. If anything,I'm really glad that your Uncle has had to pay for his crime,however little time it is though.
I had a friend years ago named Joe. He was forty nine,had a brother very similar it seems to your Uncle. He was trying to get his hands on some real estate and long story short,Joe was killed one night in pretty much the exact same way. There was a scuffle and Joe fell straight back onto a concrete garage floor and hit his head. Except no ambulance was called and he died in bed that night with his girlfriend beside him.
There was no criminal investigation whatsoever and Joe was cremated immediately without an autopsy (his mother wouldn't allow one??). No one was ever charged and Joe's brother last I heard is now a very wealthy man.
I do think that there's a special place in hell for people like that. And though we may never see it,rest assured that it does come back around in some form. How very generous of your family to donate some of your dad's organs though,so desperately needed by so many. I lost my brother three years ago while he was waiting for a kidney.
Thank you for sharing your story,hard as it must be.
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Posted by Wiccan
Wow Celtes,my sincere condolences on the loss of your Dad.
It never ceases to amaze me how much destruction greed can cause. If anything,I'm really glad that your Uncle has had to pay for his crime,however little time it is though.
I had a friend years ago named Joe. He was forty nine,had a brother very similar it seems to your Uncle. He was trying to get his hands on some real estate and long story short,Joe was killed one night in pretty much the exact same way. There was a scuffle and Joe fell straight back onto a concrete garage floor and hit his head. Except no ambulance was called and he died in bed that night with his girlfriend beside him.
There was no criminal investigation whatsoever and Joe was cremated immediately without an autopsy (his mother wouldn't allow one??). No one was ever charged and Joe's brother last I heard is now a very wealthy man.
I do think that there's a special place in hell for people like that. And though we may never see it,rest assured that it does come back around in some form. How very generous of your family to donate some of your dad's organs though,so desperately needed by so many. I lost my brother three years ago while he was waiting for a kidney.
Thank you for sharing your story,hard as it must be.
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Thank you.
That is utterly appalling. I don't know how some people sleep at night-- I really don't!
My Dad was very generous in life and I know he would have approved. I'm so sorry about your brother. I think organ donation is something that people just don't think about. I think that it makes you look at your own mortality and it scares people. We hadn't considered it-- it's only thanks to the nurse who quietly suggested it that we even thought about donating. I'm so glad we did though. I don't think people realise how much comfort it can give to know that you have helped someone else to have a future.
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I am so sorry for this tragedy in your life.
I know more about blood than you | |
My condolences celtes.
Gone for a while. Be back when I'm back. | |
Losing a loved one is hard enough without the family drama that so often ensues. My thoughts are with you and pray that what you father would've wanted will come to fruition.
Show up at 9:30 with 15 dollars cash and your fingers crossed.
<Mandias> I think she's gonna slug that cop. -------------------------------------------------------- <Axle> "She's just not a farmer Owen, she has too much of her Father in her." <Axle> Death by Hut |
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