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quiet social exclude, suicidal and paranoid, overwhelmed by hormones and probably would have peed my pants if a girl actually spoke to me.
i'm still awkward as fuck and totally lack self confidence. it's brutal.
hi i like cars | |
I was pretty messed up.
/End
The richness I achieve comes from Nature, the source of my inspiration. | |
I was homeschool all my life, but that had NOTHING to do with my loneliness. I was always very bright academically. Except at math. I fucking hated math. I normally ended up talking with adults because of my difference in maturity with my peers. I lived with pretty controlling parents, especially my mother. She went through times where she just pure hated me. I was also really gifted physically. I developed a passion for martial arts, especially japanese. Mom though martial arts were purely evil and refused to support my interest. I got four jobs and started college when I was 16. Basically all I did was work and study. Then at night, I would sneak out of my room and hike by moonlight for hours. Yeah, I didn't get much sleep. That was a side affect of lyme's disease. I tried making friends, but trying to make friends at 16/17 when everybody knows everybody already, you are automatically an outsider. I remember asking one of my coworkers who lived nearby my house if she'd like to play tennis (her favourite sport) sometime. She said maybe. I didn't know anything about tennis. for the next couple weeks, I got a new racquet and some balls and I learned to play. I became pretty good, actually! I asked her again. She said, "I'm sorry, but I don't even know you." We had worked together for two years. That killed me. I hate being a loner, but I'd rather be lonely than shunned.
Behind every mistake, there is a lesson.
I'm just not that great at learning them! | |
Posted by NHUrbex
I was homeschool all my life, but that had NOTHING to do with my loneliness. I was always very bright academically. Except at math. I fucking hated math. I normally ended up talking with adults because of my difference in maturity with my peers. I lived with pretty controlling parents, especially my mother. She went through times where she just pure hated me. I was also really gifted physically. I developed a passion for martial arts, especially japanese. Mom though martial arts were purely evil and refused to support my interest. I got four jobs and started college when I was 16. Basically all I did was work and study. Then at night, I would sneak out of my room and hike by moonlight for hours. Yeah, I didn't get much sleep. That was a side affect of lyme's disease. I tried making friends, but trying to make friends at 16/17 when everybody knows everybody already, you are automatically an outsider. I remember asking one of my coworkers who lived nearby my house if she'd like to play tennis (her favourite sport) sometime. She said maybe. I didn't know anything about tennis. for the next couple weeks, I got a new racquet and some balls and I learned to play. I became pretty good, actually! I asked her again. She said, "I'm sorry, but I don't even know you." We had worked together for two years. That killed me. I hate being a loner, but I'd rather be lonely than shunned.
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She's a bitch. I know aaaalll too well about loneliness. Making friends was ridiculously hard for me. Women made it a million times worse. Just don't take rejection to heart. The more you throw yourself out there the easier it will get. And how the hell is martial arts evil? lol
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I can't say what makes martial arts evil. I love it, and it keeps me in shape and semi-flexible. I teach several styles, and I do periodic women's self defence courses, so I think I'm doing some good.
I'm really proud of the accomplishments I've made in my short life. I don't have any regrets on my actions, and I love my life. As messed up as my life was, I don't think I was ever messed up.
Behind every mistake, there is a lesson.
I'm just not that great at learning them! | |
Posted by NHUrbex
I can't say what makes martial arts evil. I love it, and it keeps me in shape and semi-flexible. I teach several styles, and I do periodic women's self defence courses, so I think I'm doing some good.
I'm really proud of the accomplishments I've made in my short life. I don't have any regrets on my actions, and I love my life. As messed up as my life was, I don't think I was ever messed up.
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You are probably one of the most well rounded, mature, and level headed people on this site.
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Wow. Um.....
Well, moved a good bit (every year) as a small kid. For many years the standard was that I was always the new kid and always the white boy. Oh well. I lived and it toughened me up. Landed for good in 7th grade, and never had any real problems. Fairly typical rural upbringing for my time: ie I rode horses and branded cows and cut trees with chainsaws and all that. Had a great time in school. Played every sport, graduated second in my class, raced dirt bikes and backpacked and played music in a couple of bands. Loved the ladies.
My youth rocked and I have absolutely no bitches at all. Good fuckin times baby. Even my parents were cool.
I have changed my personal exploring ethics code. From now on it will be: "Take only aimed shots, leave only hobo corpses." Copper scrappers, meth heads and homeless beware. The Jonsered cometh among you, bringing fear and dread.
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hmm.
I started training for the olympics at 14, took the 'genius courses' in school and started university when I was 15, was date raped by a boy who I thought loved me, lost half of my family and a few best friends to cancer, was depressed and suicidal - and I mean I tried, my mother saved my life by punching me in the face. God I love her.
Graduated with amazing grades, finished college and had a career by the time I was barely 18, was 'friends' with the whole damn world and I hated everybody. Every god damn person. I didn't go a single party and even skipped my own graduation.
I'm much healthier now.
Yield's Peer Review:
~Doesn't give a fuck, total badass, and one of my ue-besties.
~Genuine, has positive character and this thing called integrity. Knows when to be serious. Passionate about productive things. Human being. ~fish fish boxing boxing bestest friend evah | |
Posted by Yield
hmm.
, took the 'genius courses' in school, |
That seems to alienate people like nothing else. I went through all that. I used to take summer classes at my Dad's work (a multi-billion dollar biopharmaceutical lab and manufacturing plant). They had programs where they pick the most promising applicants. I always made tons of friends there, but in my hometown, nobody wanted to be with the 'smart kid'. I didn't matter that I was an excellent sports player or that I was a social magnet. Then, I realized I didn't need them. The friends I already had were the best I could get. I was right. One of my friends is in Hollywood right now, filming a major movie at MGM studios, another is preparing to release his ninth CD and go on tour again before he heads back to Berklee, and yet another comes on every UE adventure I do. Don't let people label you. Standing out never hurts, if you do it for the right reason.
Behind every mistake, there is a lesson.
I'm just not that great at learning them! | |
it's true. most of the people who took those courses with me are either extremely unhappy half way through 10 year degrees right now because they realize it's not what they really wanted to do (well no shit you made them decide at 16 years old) and the other half has drug addictions, eating disorders, etc.
Some of us turned out fine, but it was an unhealthy ratio. 15 is not an age for university 
Yield's Peer Review:
~Doesn't give a fuck, total badass, and one of my ue-besties.
~Genuine, has positive character and this thing called integrity. Knows when to be serious. Passionate about productive things. Human being. ~fish fish boxing boxing bestest friend evah | |
I started taking college classes when I was 16. It was tough. I kinda lost touch with the things I loved. No more playing outside, no more trips to the mall or library. Study, study, study. I was forced to mature much faster then my peers. I was working for my town's heritage commission at 12 years old. Working with adults every week, investigating historical sites and buildings and planning restorative procedures is not your average twelve year old's weekend hobby. I've worked with adults for years at our local library.
When kids were trying out for baseball, I was assisting the moving crew for a two-hundred year old barn a few miles down the road. When others were studying in schools, I was upgrading and repairing our home computer by sheer hands-on experience.
I never felt the need to fit in, but accelerated learning made sure I would never be able too. I love learning, and enjoyed it all the way, but I did miss out on childhood.
Behind every mistake, there is a lesson.
I'm just not that great at learning them! | |
this. exactly. and now I'm 21 and I look back at my 'friends' who I went to highschool (for those two brief years) with and they're stuck in their 'party all the time, drink every weekend' routine..I was there and gone again by 17, it seems so far away. I go out and have fun, but they all seem so ...ridiculously dumb, to be honest. I feel like I'm wasting my life trying to decide my second career and what major I want and here they are not even caring that they still work at mcdonalds...ugh.
I found I outgrew people to quickly to keep relationships/friendships long.
not that I judge these people, I have no right to - they just seem so distant now.
Yield's Peer Review:
~Doesn't give a fuck, total badass, and one of my ue-besties.
~Genuine, has positive character and this thing called integrity. Knows when to be serious. Passionate about productive things. Human being. ~fish fish boxing boxing bestest friend evah | |
I lived a sheltered life for about half of my teen year because my mom never really worked and was home all the time. I always felt that my parents were trying to hold me back from everything I wanted to do, especially my mom. By the age of 15-16 I had started drinking and smoking pot, but not because I wanted to, it was because of the fact that I wanted to make my parents mad and be rebellious. I started to get really dependent on pot in grades 11 and 12 yet still managed to pull off 80's in my classes and get into university. I had a couple of girlfriends during those years, but one cheated on me and the other was just a good friends with benefits (always a good time). The girlfriend that cheated on me sent me on a downward spiral which resulted in me almost dropping out of university. Every weekend I would party to the point of passing out in my friends dorm. I had a couple encounters with the police but managed to get out of them, and I started selling pot to kids in my university classes. Near the end of the first year of school, something hit me, and to this day I still don't know what made me do it, but I came to realize that I was completely fucking up my life (for lack of better words). I tried last minute to change the program I was enrolled in and miraculously got re-accepted to a different program. I went through a couple relationships since then and I have really turned my life around. I still drink and smoke pot recreationally, but I am no longer dependent on either. I have great friends that support me and ones that I know are not around to bring me down.
In the end you will be laid to rest where you belong. Bathed in the flames for your hatred and your ignorance. Your the symbol of masculinity, but I can beat king kong.
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Residential boarding school kid.
Nuff said.
"The truth is knowable. But probably not, ever, incontrovertible."
--Don DeLillo
PICS | |
I sat in the back of the classroom and messed up the grading curve for everybody else. I fscked off all year, then aced the final exams and/or the regents exams, making everybody else look stupid.
I should have been allowed to skip three grades, but my mom said no, so I turned kind of antisocial. I didn't have a whole lot of friends, I spent most of my time in the music room at school, playing the piano or other instruments. I spent most of my childhood raising my sisters because my mom didn't really know what she was doing. Single parent, she didn't wanna be the bad guy, so it was up to me I guess.
School came easy, relationships came hard and still do. Which is why I fit where I work. I went to college, found friends there, got sick, had to leave school, then waited five years, went back and graduated. 4 years later, got a job working for International Paper Company, where I've been for the last five years and the sad thing, it's the best decision I ever made. I fit in, I make ridiculously good money for what I do and people miss me when I'm not there.
"The best wine lies at the bottom of the pail/And Happiness lies below the navel." - Drukpa Kunley, "The Divine Madman of the Dragon Lineage" and "Saint of 5,000 Women". | |
Posted by Shael
I should have been allowed to skip three grades
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I did skip three grades. 2nd/3rd/7th (I think) It's not as big of a deal when you are homeschooled, except when a public-schooler asked you why you were in fifth grade, and not in 3rd. The explaining could get interesting! I was talking to a ninth grader when I was in ninth grade (he was 14, I was 11), when he made the rather misguided remark " Since I did all 9 grades and you only did 6, I'm 33% smarter than you."
Holy shit. I was in hysterics. I pointed out he would do well to brush up on percentages!
Behind every mistake, there is a lesson.
I'm just not that great at learning them! | |
Posted by NHUrbex
I did skip three grades. 2nd/3rd/7th (I think) It's not as big of a deal when you are homeschooled, except when a public-schooler asked you why you were in fifth grade, and not in 3rd. The explaining could get interesting! I was talking to a ninth grader when I was in ninth grade (he was 14, I was 11), when he made the rather misguided remark " Since I did all 9 grades and you only did 6, I'm 33% smarter than you."
Holy shit. I was in hysterics. I pointed out he would do well to brush up on percentages!
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LMFAO
I'm so glad my mom didn't let me skip any grades. I was already way too young 
Yield's Peer Review:
~Doesn't give a fuck, total badass, and one of my ue-besties.
~Genuine, has positive character and this thing called integrity. Knows when to be serious. Passionate about productive things. Human being. ~fish fish boxing boxing bestest friend evah | |
Posted by KublaKhan
Residential boarding school kid.
Nuff said.
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Not nuff said... Ive been there and done that, but with a military brainwashing to boot!
You first.
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Posted by Louie
Not nuff said... Ive been there and done that, but with a military brainwashing to boot!
You first.
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Christian residential boarding school, ftw.
"The truth is knowable. But probably not, ever, incontrovertible."
--Don DeLillo
PICS | |
Well jeez, now I feel like the odd one out for having "normal" teen years. I really enjoyed high school. I wasn't a brainiac by any means. I got A's in the classes I really enjoyed and B's and C's in the ones I didn't. I wasn't popular either, but I had a nice tight-knit group of friends who never got into any real trouble. I never did any kind of drug and didn't even have my first drink until I was in college. I had a really nice boyfriend who treated me well.
My parents had a happy marriage, my brothers were good kids, we lived in a small cozy house with a cat and a dog. Other than normal sibling rivalry or parent/teen squabbles, everybody got along.
It wasn't until I turned 20 that I really fucked my life up.
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Ethics
