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or, how to separate a fundy from their cash without outright robbing them
http://www.postrapturepetcare.com/
Do you wonder what is going to happen to your pets when Jesus descends from Heaven to re-unite the Church with the Father taking all Christians - dead and alive - up to Heaven? Will your pets be left behind with no-one to care for them?
Have no fear! We at Post Rapture Pet Care are confirmed atheists and as such will be part of the left behind when the time comes. Just because we are atheists doesn't mean we are not animal lovers. We adore all kind of pets and would love to look after your pets after you are gone.
For a small donation of £69.99 pounds, we will make sure your pets are well fed and taken care of long after you and your family have been taken up.
We have representatives in the South East of England and also in the North East of Scotland so can accommodate for most areas of the country giving you peace of mind where ever you are.
This is not a joke. We feel very strongly about pet care and want to offer the best possible services to British pet owners. Feel free to get in touch at pets@postrapturepetcare.com for more info.
“You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons.” | |
Also, are you too busy to pray daily? Let your computer do the work (subscription service!)
http://information...yer.com/index.html
Information Age Prayer is a subscription service utilizing a computer with text-to-speech capability to incant your prayers each day. It gives you the satisfaction of knowing that your prayers will always be said even if you wake up late, or forget.
We use state of the art text to speech synthesizers to voice each prayer at a volume and speed equivalent to typical person praying. Each prayer is voiced individually, with the name of the subscriber displayed on screen.
At Information Age Prayer we think our service should be used like a prayer supplement, to extend and strengthen a subscriber's connection with God. Traditional prayer is an integral part of this connection and should never be forgone, even after signing up.
You can subscribe for yourself, or you can purchase a subscription as a gift to friends or family.
“You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons.” | |
Funny.
I was told that my pets will be waiting for me on the other side. They're guaranteed to get in. As for us humans...
Nice how people just love to take advantage of the gullible eh? 
[last edit 4/29/2009 3:43 PM by rainman8889 - edited 1 times]
Gone for a while. Be back when I'm back. | |
Posted by rainman8889
I was told that my pets will be waiting for me on the other side. They're guaranteed to get in. As for us humans...
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They'll be there as soon as they get eaten by us stranglers.
mutantMandias may cause dizziness, sexual nightmares, and sleep crime. ++++ mutantMandias has to return some videotapes ++++ Do not taunt mutantMandias
mutantMandias is something more than human, more than a computer. mutantMandias is a murderously intelligent, sensually self-programmed, non-being | |
I wonder if they have a US subsidiary yet....
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We should open up franchises!
http://www.usatoda...01-08-08-scams.htm
There is a huge market for this stuff and our target audience is somewhat sub-prime.
I'll set up a pay pal account and you guys send me a hundred bucks each to be "ordained". You each then get to recruit 50 "bishops" for $100. Send me $50 from each one for "hat fees". Once I get the money, I'll tell you the rest.
Anyone?
It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so, and will follow it by suppressing opposition, subverting all education to seize early the minds of the young, and by killing, locking up, or driving underground all heretics. Robert A. Heinlen | |
Well...truth be told. Pets are the guardians of the Underworld. Who else is going to supervise your torment, and who better? Remember when you left Fluffy out in the blizzard? or when you didn't feed Hammy for three days? or when Barney was locked in the car during the heat wave...?
You've been warned.
"The truth is knowable. But probably not, ever, incontrovertible."
--Don DeLillo
PICS | |
So you're not a Christian, don't believe there will be a Rapture, but you love animals and have an open mind. Please read on.
Here at After The Rapture Pet Care, we are setting up a network of non-believing pet lovers who are willing to register with us, just in case there really is a Rapture. There's no cost, nothing to lose, by registering with us. Your information is secure and will never be shared with anyone outside our immediate organization, so you don't have to worry about someone pressuring you to believe anything. If the Rapture happens, you'll be contacted and asked to help rescue the registered pets in your area. If the Rapture does not happen, you won't hear from us again except for an occasional request to "check in" once or twice a year to be sure your information is up to date.
Please complete the form below with as much information as possible. |
http://www.aftertherapturepetcare.com/
Tourism, human circulation considered as consumption is fundamentally nothing more than the leisure of going to see what has become banal. | |
Reading your description I was confused because it didn't seem to fit any of the niches I assumed it would - I mean if she was doing it from the bottom of her heart, isn't she a Christian? Who's managing all of this when she disappears? Why does it talk only about registering to be a pet sitter, not a pet leaver? Why? Why? Why?
Then I clicked the website and saw it's actually $120/year INSURANCE against the rapture happening. Then it made sense.
Our Citizen.
Our Justice.
Bring Omar Khadr back to Canada. | |
Thread Merge: Looks like a common idea. Personally, if the rapture comes and my cat doesn't go to heaven too (assuming I go), I do have athiest friends and family to tend to things like this for free. Craziness.
So I said "Why don't you shove it where the sun don't shine" and so he did. He put it in the cupboard under the stairs and it hasn't been mentioned since.
-Stephen Fry | |
If/when the rapture happens, it will be unpredicted:
Matthew 24:36-41 "36] But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only. [37] But as the days of Noah were, so shall also the coming of the Son of man be. [38] For as in the days that were before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered into the ark, [39] And knew not until the flood came, and took them all away; so shall also the coming of the Son of man be. [40] Then shall two be in the field; the one shall be taken, and the other left. [41] Two women shall be grinding at the mill; the one shall be taken, and the other left."
And from I understand, when one ascends to heaven, all earthly cares and worries cease - I assume that applies to pets/animals as well - your pet might live, it might die, but it won't matter much.
“You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons.” | |
Posted by Esoterik
"For as in the days that were before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noah entered into the ark, And knew not until the flood came, and took them all away"
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People really should pay attention when some guy is building an ark in his backyard.
Posted by Esoterik
"Then shall two be in the field; the one shall be taken, and the other left. Two women shall be grinding at the mill; the one shall be taken, and the other left."
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Wow. Is that all this rapture thing is? 2 people disappearing? Hunh. I always thought it might be more impressive.
mutantMandias may cause dizziness, sexual nightmares, and sleep crime. ++++ mutantMandias has to return some videotapes ++++ Do not taunt mutantMandias
mutantMandias is something more than human, more than a computer. mutantMandias is a murderously intelligent, sensually self-programmed, non-being |
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