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Ok, the men started it with asking if we are evil. So in response, I ask why are men jerks? Girls, haven't you said at one time or another that "Every guy I've ever been with is a spineless jerk in one way or another."
Look us in the eyes when you talk to us... Our bodies continue above our chests. Treat us with the respect, common courtesy, & honesty that everyone deserves.
But alas, just like guys can't get along without us; we cannot get along without them either.
[last edit 6/29/2005 4:25 AM by Jennibel - edited 2 times]
Life without knowledge is death in disguise. | |
I have to say, I'd truely like to understand why men like to rip up my heart into tiny little pieces and step on them. I'm a nice girl. Everyone who knows me would say that, I think. I adore men. Why does is have to be so hard? Am i going about this all wrong? Maybe I should be an evil heartless bitch too, since they always end up with my boyfriends?
But no, I'm not bitter! LOL
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Posted by drinking_sand
I have to say, I'd truely like to understand why men like to rip up my heart into tiny little pieces and step on them. I'm a nice girl. Everyone who knows me would say that, I think. I adore men. Why does is have to be so hard? Am i going about this all wrong? Maybe I should be an evil heartless bitch too, since they always end up with my boyfriends?
But no, I'm not bitter! LOL
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No drinking_sand, don't be an 'evil heartless bitch'. You do that and the jerks have won. There's good and bad in everyone. I felt the same way about women until I met my wife. Great lady she is. Really helped me get my head back together.
Gone for a while. Be back when I'm back. | |
men arent jerks...er well some aren't, you just have to find the right one
wait i'm not supposed to be here?
-no
o ok fuck you then | |
2 way road. Not concerning the thread title, rather the "men's body goes on after his cock". A real man has it going on inside his head, not in his pants.
> The hierarchy of power dictates that the person with the most power does the least amount of work and retains the highest benefit. | |
Posted by Particle Man
2 way road. Not concerning the thread title, rather the "men's body goes on after his cock". A real man has it going on inside his head, not in his pants.
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Classy sig you've got there! "I sugest we go fuck in your mothers bed while eating crackers and petting a cat name mittens." That's what's in your head, huh?
Sorry, no offence, it just struck me as funny. 
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Posted by drinking_sand
Classy sig you've got there! "I sugest we go fuck in your mothers bed while eating crackers and petting a cat name mittens." That's what's in your head, huh?
Sorry, no offence, it just struck me as funny.
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It in the urban dictionary under the definition of fuck... I thought the kitty part and crackers was funny.
> The hierarchy of power dictates that the person with the most power does the least amount of work and retains the highest benefit. | |
Supply and Demand. Show me a man that has a genuine good heart and is 100% capable of taking care of himself and 9 times out of 10 he will be single. The same goes for women.
I think it stems from two factors. The first factor is a need to be needed by someone. It's a trait of human evolution, maternal and paternal instinct. In this day and age people are having children much, much later than in our evolutionary history. The maternal and paternal instinct develops before we have a mate or child so that instincts usually finds a way to get met through a relationship. One taking a step back can learn that it's better to find someone that does not "need" you but will benefit greatly from your support.
The second factor is a self loathing that all humans have. 99.9% of us hate ourselves on some level and this hate comes to light in the multitude of self sabotaging acts we make everyday. If your reading this and saying "I don't hate myself" then sit down alone in a room for one entire day with no distractions or things to do, then tell me how you feel about it.
The answer? Men and women bring it upon themselves.
The solution? Mindfulness and strength. Understand these factors and always take them into account, have the personal strength to act against these interest for the best interest of yourself.
So that's my theory.
Good Day.
The world is not nearly as scary as the TV makes it out to be. | |
Posted by rainman8889
No drinking_sand, don't be an 'evil heartless bitch'. You do that and the jerks have won. There's good and bad in everyone. I felt the same way about women until I met my wife. Great lady she is. Really helped me get my head back together.
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Thanks rainman8889. It is nice to hear guys say stuff like this. Now if we could just weed out all the jerks so we would feel like turning into heartless bitches.
Anything you can do, I can do better!! | |
Posted by lil-trouble
Thanks rainman8889. It is nice to hear guys say stuff like this. Now if we could just weed out all the jerks so we would feel like turning into heartless bitches.
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Maybe it's just best to learn to recognize the jerks, so that when you find those who aren't you treasure them more dearly. And that applies to men and women equally...
"If the door's open, you might as well stick your head in."
-- Lil-trouble | |
Posted by Oherian
Maybe it's just best to learn to recognize the jerks, so that when you find those who aren't you treasure them more dearly. And that applies to men and women equally...
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Best idea yet. Get to know the person and if they are a jerk/bitch, bail outta there really quick!
And if they are a great person, hang on to them and treat them very well.
[last edit 11/1/2005 5:40 AM by rainman8889 - edited 1 times]
Gone for a while. Be back when I'm back. | |
Posted by Jennibel
why are men jerks? |
I'm not a jerk
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Some of us aren't ; I'm in my thirties; been dogged too many times to count; Who again are the jerks?
I got your tour winner right here pussies, at least he'd crash out trying. | |
I don't think I am, but I'd rather let someone else make the decision as to whether I am or not. If you know me, you'll know if I am. I'm sure I've had my moments...
"If the door's open, you might as well stick your head in."
-- Lil-trouble | |
Cabiria's Theory on Relationships (I should note now that I am a rational, so this is highly scientific. I do hope this is enlightening though)
None of us are content until we feel we have reached higher than our highest relationship potential.
Allow me to explain this in detail. In our minds we have a deeply held evaluation of our self worth. We judge how intelligent, charming and attractive we are. We then use our self evaluation to figure out what the low end of dating acceptability and high end are. This low and high end is our datable range. Or upper and lower thresholds. This establishes our personal score.
We then use the same type of evaluation on those around us and establish a similar score for them.
When trying to form a relationship we will usually only date within this range (i.e. score falls between the upper and lower bounds). If we go below this range we might think of this as a good lay, or a temporary kick. When we go above this range we are ecstatic and feel extremely happy about this.
In almost every instance where we believe we found someone who is above our range, we are most likely correct. We will be dumped by the other person and find out we were just a temporary kick.
The secret to a lasting relationship is to find someone you believe above your high threshold and for them to also believe you are out of their's. In other words the score of attractiveness you score appears to be higher than they feel their high threshold allows and vica versa.
Many actions help people judge whether or not you are above or below them. How much attention and what type of attention they provide. How interested they are towards you. Their comments and gestures.
If you begin dating someone and they ADORE you immediately, you will downgraded their rating. If they are less attentive, you upgrade their rating. However if they are rude they also get downgraded (basically because rudeness gets you a hit against your personality score).
Basically the key is to move up the other's value of you while simultaneously building a relationship.
Have you ever noticed how much more attention from the opposite sex you get when you are in a relationship? This is because they are upgrading your score because you appear to be establishing yourself as a higher social rating than them by not being openly flirtatious.
So people will leave you for the jerk or bitch because they estimate that this person has a higher dateable value than you do. Maybe because they feel that given new factors, such as someone new interested in them, that they can date someone who is "better." Or maybe you were a temporary kick. Maybe you adored them so much they downgraded your score.
Remember that nothing downgrades your score more than the willingness to drop a current relationship for them. It is a definite show that you are of a much lower score than them.
We hear self confidence over and over. If you are self confident people will flock to you. Also be cautious with your kindness. If you are overly kind it will often cause them to either raise their personal bar and exclude you from their dateable range or lower yours (after all you must be of lower position than them since you are so immensely kind to them)
The end result is not that nice people get screwed. Just that if you are a nice person you need to be careful with it. Think about it like social stations. Are Kings very nice to peasants? No. Are peasants very nice towards a King? Yes. You need to establish yourself at an equivalent social station. How would an equal treat an equal? That answer is with respect and kindness but not with a lot of regard.
Lastly, a note on sexuality. Though looks are a huge part of sexuality they are not nearly as important as some believe. Often the person who believes they are bad looking sabotages themselves with that belief. I have been attracted to many women and found them incredibly sexual though their appearance is nothing outstanding.
Okay so here is my personal advice (I could be entirely off base).
-Step one, convince yourself, despite every evidence passibly to the contrary, that you are incredibly attractive. Do not become delusional with this. Remember to keep your personality intact.
Step two, handle yourself as if you are uninterested in others and out for yourself. So when you are flirting with someone it isn't because they are interesting to you but because you are interesting to them. Warning: do not act vain.
To be more clear, you should be forward with people. Don't come on quitely, but be obvious. Make your flirting a bit over the top. Make it clear that they need to win you, not the other way around (welcome to the joys of dating games, cough cough)
Step three, do not become too nice, attached or giving too early. During the formative relationship period you want to be nice but also a challenge.
Step four, transition to a relationship slowly. Never have the want for a relationship as your goal. Your goal is to have fun and be social. If someone feels like your goal is to have a relationship you will damn yourself to not obtaining one. Once again the wish to form a relationship upgrades their score will downgrading yours.
Well have fun and welcome to that shitty little game called dating.
P.S. sorry but unless 1) he broke up with you 2) finds you unattractive or 3) feels there is a major social barrier; he wants you as more than a friend. Start asking guys about their female friendships and you will find they tend to be ex girlfriends, people they aren't attracted to or they are friends but one of them is taken.
I tell women this and they always claim I am full of shit. They have some male friend that is not interested in them. Later on down the road, it may take years, they discover I am right.
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Posted by Jennibel
Look us in the eyes when you talk to us... Our bodies continue above our chests. Treat us with the respect, common courtesy, & honesty that everyone deserves.
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Um, yeah, because THAT's what chicks want in a guy, right?
Don't make me laugh.
Underground Ozarks http://www.undergroundozarks.com
Missouri, Arkansas, Oklahoma, and Kansas | |
I have this friend who is dating and living with her bf in his mother's house.
She's 24 and he's 21 and she has no life at all. When she leaves work everyday, she goes straight home and stays home all night. Her boyfriend doesn't like her going out much without him and he won't give her a key to the house, just so he can control when she comes home and when she goes out. When we want to go to the bar, he tells her that she cant go or that if she goes, he'll lock her out of the house. This girl is a really great person and never does anything wrong. She has never cheated on him or done anything bad to him. She treats him like a prince and he treats her like a pile of shit. He told her that because she works at her current job (which is tim hortons..) that she is a "piece of shit", even though she is currently taking night school college courses to get ahead... He always calls her rude names and yells at her. She seriously thinks that he's right and she obeys him. We tried to tell her that this is unhealthy but she doesnt listen. I know he's an asshole, but she won't leave him so she is guilty too...
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Posted by vicexsquad
I have this friend who is dating and living with her bf in his mother's house.
She's 24 and he's 21 and she has no life at all. When she leaves work everyday, she goes straight home and stays home all night. Her boyfriend doesn't like her going out much without him and he won't give her a key to the house, just so he can control when she comes home and when she goes out. When we want to go to the bar, he tells her that she cant go or that if she goes, he'll lock her out of the house. This girl is a really great person and never does anything wrong. She has never cheated on him or done anything bad to him. She treats him like a prince and he treats her like a pile of shit. He told her that because she works at her current job (which is tim hortons..) that she is a "piece of shit", even though she is currently taking night school college courses to get ahead... He always calls her rude names and yells at her. She seriously thinks that he's right and she obeys him. We tried to tell her that this is unhealthy but she doesnt listen. I know he's an asshole, but she won't leave him so she is guilty too...
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Yeah, boo-hoo. Nothing personal, but I don't feel sorry for someone that does absolutely nothing to get out of a situation like that.
Underground Ozarks http://www.undergroundozarks.com
Missouri, Arkansas, Oklahoma, and Kansas | |
That is a really sad story. I feel sympathy for those individuals.
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Posted by Cabiria
That is a really sad story. I feel sympathy for those individuals.
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Agreed there but she has to do herself a BIG favour and dump that piece of shit!
No one else can do it for her. She has to do it herself.
The problem is that piece of shit has her convinced that she is worthless. Convince her otherwise, and she will be able to bail.
Two of my ex-girlfriends pretty much drilled it into my thick head that I am a waste of skin. I finally bailed but I was terrified. The thought was "Who's going to want to be with a waste of skin like me?"
The abuse is just how jerks and bitches keep control over their GFs BFs. Convince them that they are worthless and that the abuser is actually doing you a favour by reminding you of your worthlessness.
Pretty sad and sickening.
Gone for a while. Be back when I'm back. |
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