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Infiltration Forums > Rookie Forum > parents and exploring(Viewed 6845 times)
Soof location:
MA
 
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Re: parents and exploring
<Reply # 20 on 12/20/2017 8:53 PM >
Posted on Forum: UER ForumQuote
Posted by blackhawk


Not an assumption. You stated it yourself.
As adult your business priorities and good name come before any hobby.
A felony conviction will preclude you from federal jobs, the ability to obtain a $ecurity clearance, a hazmat endorsement, most likely military service and more.

The best locations I ever splored and shot except 2 were with full permission...


In what world would the average 18-year-old be putting their "business priorities" before a hobby? We're 18, not 30.

He never stated he didn't have a job, so yes it was an assumption.

The kid wants advice, not ridicule.



blackhawk
This member has been banned. See the banlist for more information.
 
location:
Mission Control
 
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Re: parents and exploring
<Reply # 21 on 12/20/2017 9:47 PM >
Posted on Forum: UER ForumQuote
Posted by Soof


In what world would the average 18-year-old be putting their "business priorities" before a hobby? We're 18, not 30.

He never stated he didn't have a job, so yes it was an assumption.

The kid wants advice, not ridicule.


Not ridicule; sound advice.
Regardless of how you feel, you're an adult by law and responsible/fully accountable for your actions.

Sucks to be a kid today.
If you did what I did at that age you be in state prison in today's world.
Congratulations, you now bear the burden that with increased information access comes increased expectations and a permanent digital record to boot.




Just when I thought I was out... they pulled me back in.
UberDan location:
Ohio
 
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Re: parents and exploring
<Reply # 22 on 12/30/2017 2:10 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER ForumQuote
Posted by sanctive
So this is kind of a strange thing to talk about, but I wanted to get some more perspective on this. Sorry if it seems like I'm ranting about family issues.

Even though I'm legally an adult, I'm still at my parents house and they still have a substantial amount of jurisdiction over my doings. They've known I explore for the past year and haven't actively done anything to stop me, but now that's changing. My dad apparently is getting concerned that I'm trespassing too extensively and thinks I don't care about risking a misdemeanor or even a felony. He says if I want to keep exploring I have to find a way to do it legally, which pretty much just means I won't be able to do it anymore. I'm thinking I'm just gonna have to explore in secrecy from now on if I want to keep doing it. You guys have any suggestions? Any of you younger explorers experience shit like this?


Parents house, parents rules. It sucks dude but thats how it goes.

Yes, you are legally an adult in the eyes of the government, but do you act like one? Do you feel like an adult? And just because you have two jobs and go to an university does not make you an adult. Being an adult comes from yourself.

Urban exploring is a lot more than climbing cranes and wandering through moldy buildings. Dont box yourself in.

Be honest with your parents, maybe they will never let you do the exploring you want to do. That should be more of a reason to make decisions to be an adult. They might even respect you like you should respect them.


I cannot say the circumstances are the same but I moved out at your age. Anything is possible.








null
UberDan location:
Ohio
 
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Re: parents and exploring
<Reply # 23 on 12/30/2017 2:13 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER ForumQuote
Posted by Soof


In what world would the average 18-year-old be putting their "business priorities" before a hobby? We're 18, not 30.

He never stated he didn't have a job, so yes it was an assumption.

The kid wants advice, not ridicule.


You'll be 30 eventually, assuming you don't die.

A misdemeanor can be enough to hurt any kind of chance at a job, especially an entry level one.





null
UberDan location:
Ohio
 
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Re: parents and exploring
<Reply # 24 on 12/30/2017 2:26 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER ForumQuote
Posted by Soof

Lying isn't really that bad for someone like us.



Lying to your parents and lying to police/security are two different things.

One lesson I have learned from exploring and life in general is trust. You can trust that your partner will always have your back on an explore. You can trust that the info on UER is (mostly) correct, right? Your parents trust that you will make the right decision.

Why waste your energy lying about some silly nonsense and get yourself out in the world.





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Explorer Zero   |  |  | 
Re: parents and exploring
<Reply # 25 on 12/30/2017 3:53 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER ForumQuote
I still cant understand why somebody 18yrs old thinks of themselves as a "kid"





Doug   |  |  | Cave Clan Australia
Re: parents and exploring
<Reply # 26 on 12/30/2017 9:11 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER ForumQuote
If I was your parent you'd be fine.




The Urbex Zine Guy
https://www.cavecl...wtopic.php?t=12259
thingamabob location:
Arizona
 
 |  |  | flickr
Re: parents and exploring
<Reply # 27 on 12/30/2017 9:59 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER ForumQuote
While I'll fully admit that I am currently very libated and have stopped reading after the first 4 posts all together; here is my situation and how I deal.

I too am a millennial and live with my parents, however it is slightly different because one is -VERY- disabled and unable to work and I am effectively the breadwinner. However, my mother will and always will be my mother. If I need her to know where I'm going, she'll know. If I don't, or am simply just trying to protect her, but I know that she knows I'm up to something, I'll leave my computer unlocked and on maps with a pinpoint of where I intend to be, with a time frame of when to hear from me.

It settles her anxiety, and allows me my freedom.



That being said, I'm not telling you to lie.
I merely state that I am going out and will be with so and so.
Less information exchange the better.



But if you are going artsy, then you're going all the way. Someone's cutting off an ear!
Saturn_Sayerz location:
Wonderland
 
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Re: parents and exploring
<Reply # 28 on 12/31/2017 12:00 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER ForumQuote
I used the excuse of photography for everything when I lived with my parents



Soof location:
MA
 
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Re: parents and exploring
<Reply # 29 on 1/2/2018 4:13 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER ForumQuote
Posted by UberDan


You'll be 30 eventually, assuming you don't die.

A misdemeanor can be enough to hurt any kind of chance at a job, especially an entry level one.




To the first statement: the sky is blue.

To the second statement: perhaps you failed to read my response, but the reality is that that is simply not a concern we must bear. I understand you cannot relate, but if you went up to a handful of teenagers and informed them that their wrongful actions may negatively impact their occupations 15 years down the road, you'd get a nice combination of laughter and scoffs in return. In other words, your hindsight bias is really preventing you from seeing the OP's perspective. That perspective being the reality amongst people our age.

Posted by UberDan


Lying to your parents and lying to police/security are two different things.

One lesson I have learned from exploring and life in general is trust. You can trust that your partner will always have your back on an explore. You can trust that the info on UER is (mostly) correct, right? Your parents trust that you will make the right decision.

Why waste your energy lying about some silly nonsense and get yourself out in the world.




This thread is about lying to parents, not police, so I cannot see how that is relevant. I was in no way stating that the OP should lie to cops. Context helps.

I trust my parents. I also trust the fact that they can be overly strict. Given that the said young adult will be prevented (in full or to an extent) from exploring upon confessing/opening up (which has been stated starting with the first post), if you can find some magical way to be honest and maintain full ability to explore, I'd love to hear it. Pretty hard to "get yourself out in the world" if being forthcoming will prevent you from doing just that.

If it was as simple as you make it sound I would definitely cut it with the silly nonsense. Unforunately, it's not.

Posted by 2Xplorations
I still cant understand why somebody 18yrs old thinks of themselves as a "kid"




Just because I'm now a legal adult doesn't mean I suddenly have to hold the same status as someone that's 40. A handful of months ago, I was 17. Are you not a kid when you're 17? When you think of people in high school, do you not think of them as kids? I live under my parents' roof and do not yet have to pay my own bills. If we're going to focus on such literal aspects, as it apparently seems we are, why don't those two things (merely two of many) qualify me as a kid?

The whole problem with older generations vs. younger ones (or "millennials" if you prefer to use a label that embodies the social habits that older generations are unable to understand and adapt to) is that we are suddenly expected to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders as soon as we're 18. Might have been true once. Times change.

All of that aside, I used "kid" when referring to the OP simply as a form of casual speech.


Wouldn't hurt to see the big picture as opposed to taking small, less significant, out-of-context bits of info way too literally...



Explorer Zero   |  |  | 
Re: parents and exploring
<Reply # 30 on 1/2/2018 5:41 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER ForumQuote
Posted by Soof


To the first statement: the sky is blue.

To the second statement: perhaps you failed to read my response, but the reality is that that is simply not a concern we must bear. I understand you cannot relate, but if you went up to a handful of teenagers and informed them that their wrongful actions may negatively impact their occupations 15 years down the road, you'd get a nice combination of laughter and scoffs in return. In other words, your hindsight bias is really preventing you from seeing the OP's perspective. That perspective being the reality amongst people our age.



This thread is about lying to parents, not police, so I cannot see how that is relevant. I was in no way stating that the OP should lie to cops. Context helps.

I trust my parents. I also trust the fact that they can be overly strict. Given that the said young adult will be prevented (in full or to an extent) from exploring upon confessing/opening up (which has been stated starting with the first post), if you can find some magical way to be honest and maintain full ability to explore, I'd love to hear it. Pretty hard to "get yourself out in the world" if being forthcoming will prevent you from doing just that.

If it was as simple as you make it sound I would definitely cut it with the silly nonsense. Unforunately, it's not.



Just because I'm now a legal adult doesn't mean I suddenly have to hold the same status as someone that's 40. A handful of months ago, I was 17. Are you not a kid when you're 17? When you think of people in high school, do you not think of them as kids? I live under my parents' roof and do not yet have to pay my own bills. If we're going to focus on such literal aspects, as it apparently seems we are, why don't those two things (merely two of many) qualify me as a kid?

The whole problem with older generations vs. younger ones (or "millennials" if you prefer to use a label that embodies the social habits that older generations are unable to understand and adapt to) is that we are suddenly expected to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders as soon as we're 18. Might have been true once. Times change.

All of that aside, I used "kid" when referring to the OP simply as a form of casual speech.


Wouldn't hurt to see the big picture as opposed to taking small, less significant, out-of-context bits of info way too literally...


Being whiney is what qualifies some 18yr olds as kids.






Soof location:
MA
 
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Re: parents and exploring
<Reply # 31 on 1/2/2018 8:42 PM >
Posted on Forum: UER ForumQuote
Posted by 2Xplorations


Being whiney is what qualifies some 18yr olds as kids.





And being stubborn is what qualifies some old people as being grouches. Some of us are actually trying to contribute to a discussion rather than toss insults around.



blackhawk
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location:
Mission Control
 
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Re: parents and exploring
<Reply # 32 on 1/2/2018 8:53 PM >
Posted on Forum: UER ForumQuote
Posted by Soof


And being stubborn is what qualifies some old people as being grouches. Some of us are actually trying to contribute to a discussion rather than toss insults around.


Lying to your parents and racking up a rap sheet isn't what we consider exploring.




Just when I thought I was out... they pulled me back in.
Tribi location:
Michigan
 
 |  |  | Channel dude
Re: parents and exploring
<Reply # 33 on 1/4/2018 7:33 PM >
Posted on Forum: UER ForumQuote
Posted by blackhawk


^truth^


I find this thread repugnant on a couple different levels.
Exploring how to lie to your mother/father isn't what this site is for or about.

Don't care about a felony arrest? Really?
Exploring the criminal justice system is a lousy hobby.
You will find it to be both time consuming and expensive in more ways than one.








I mean he never said specifically that he was looking for lies to tell his parents. He probably explored all excuses possible, he just wants advice on how to deal with such a prevalent situation in his life. Idk just a thought, bought there's no reason to just go off on the guy and call his post asking for help repugnant. And when he says he doesn't care about a felony arrest, he probably meant it as he understands the risks and is willing to take them, like almost every explorer here. He would care if he got a felony arrest, I'm sure we all would, but we understand the risks we have to take for the hobby.



"ok sure"
blackhawk
This member has been banned. See the banlist for more information.
 
location:
Mission Control
 
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Re: parents and exploring
<Reply # 34 on 1/4/2018 10:20 PM >
Posted on Forum: UER ForumQuote
Posted by Tribi


I mean he never said specifically that he was looking for lies to tell his parents. He probably explored all excuses possible, he just wants advice on how to deal with such a prevalent situation in his life. Idk just a thought, bought there's no reason to just go off on the guy and call his post asking for help repugnant. And when he says he doesn't care about a felony arrest, he probably meant it as he understands the risks and is willing to take them, like almost every explorer here. He would care if he got a felony arrest, I'm sure we all would, but we understand the risks we have to take for the hobby.


Jeeeeezse... apparently there's a lot you don't understand.
Thanks for raising the bar of bs excuses on this thread Tribi.


Really the only risks you need take to explore are accidents, injuries and death.
Isn't that enough?
You don't -need- to lie to anyone or risk arrest to explore.

In other words, control the heat so you don't get burned!!!






Just when I thought I was out... they pulled me back in.
Saturn_Sayerz location:
Wonderland
 
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Re: parents and exploring
<Reply # 35 on 1/4/2018 11:31 PM >
Posted on Forum: UER ForumQuote
You don't need to lie to your parents. Just explain it in a way that doesn't sound bad. My mom is a librarian and a history nut so I basically just told her I'm not doing it to be a rebel or steal or vandalize, I just am really into the history of the place and when I showed her some of the stuff I was working on and the research she was sort of impressed and forgot about the trespassing part.
You just got to present it differently based on who your parents are!



UberDan location:
Ohio
 
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Re: parents and exploring
<Reply # 36 on 1/5/2018 12:13 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER ForumQuote
Posted by Soof

Just because I'm now a legal adult doesn't mean I suddenly have to hold the same status as someone that's 40.



You don't have to have any responsibilities if you want, but don't expect someone, especially your parents to treat you like an adult.

Urban exploring is not an adult-only thing, but you are doing things that have adult consequences.






null
jeepdave location:
Anderson, SC
 
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Re: parents and exploring
<Reply # 37 on 1/6/2018 1:17 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER ForumQuote
I explore within legal means 90% of the time. Also, if you want full control of your life you have to fully be independent. Less someone helps/supports you (be it parents/government) the more freedom you have to do what you wish.



Ezekiel 25:17
sanctive location:
MSP
 
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Re: parents and exploring
<Reply # 38 on 1/6/2018 5:47 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER ForumQuote
Posted by jeepdave
I explore within legal means 90% of the time. Also, if you want full control of your life you have to fully be independent. Less someone helps/supports you (be it parents/government) the more freedom you have to do what you wish.


I agree, there's definitely an inverse proportion of parent's support and personal freedom. Right now I've basically been exploring on the down low, trying not to lie about it. My dad is the one who's most harsh about it, but my mom hasn't seemed to care as much lately. Also my dad isn't around as much so it makes things a little easier. Exploring overnight has kinda been my main solution, since I just tell my parents I'm going to a friend's house for the night. It's not even a lie because eventually we do hangout at that person's house, we just explore for awhile beforehand. Also since my work start and end times can vary, I can usually get off work and go hit some shit before my parents start to get too suspicious. So yeah, I respect my parents a lot and my goal is to do as little lying to them as possible, if not any lying. If I do have to "lie" then I'll literally just tell them I'm hanging with friends, which technically is correct I'm just being super vague about it.

I appreciate yall's input, I don't mind the criticism. I'm definitely not one of those newly turned 18 year olds who thinks they should have the right to do anything despite still being supported by their parents. Goes back to what jeepdave said about independence.



constants are changing...
UberDan location:
Ohio
 
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Re: parents and exploring
<Reply # 39 on 1/6/2018 10:51 AM >
Posted on Forum: UER ForumQuote
Posted by jeepdave
I explore within legal means 90% of the time. Also, if you want full control of your life you have to fully be independent. Less someone helps/supports you (be it parents/government) the more freedom you have to do what you wish.


This right here sums up the whole argument. We box our selfs in with the idea that we have to break the law to be an urban explorer. I personally prefer exploring places illegally, but I would never turn down an opportunity to try something new.

Same goes with independence, jeepdave hit it on the nail.



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