Society has found a negative for EVERYTHING having to do with parenting. I cant find a proper punishment to give to my kids for doing wrong, without doing a search online and finding a 100 articles by teachers and universities about why the form of punishment is unacceptable and damaging to the child.

My 7 year old was in the bedroom with my 3 and 1 year old. They found a huge piece of styrofoam in a box in the hallway, took it to their room, and broke it in a billion pieces. I put the 1 year old to bed for a nap, the 3 year old with his nose in the corner for 20 minutes, and the 7 year old is currently writing standards in the form of "I will not make a mess.", 20 times.

I sat down and did a search on "standards for punishment", and was overwhelmed by all the links to why its an unacceptable form of punishment, and why its damaging to a child by linking punishment with writing, and how it will hurt them in the future by creating a dislike for a required life skill, etc. For entertainment, i did a search on spanking, standing in time out, being put in bed early, etc etc etc etc etc. All i found were links to people ranting and raving about strict parenting, OH THE CHILDREN, etc.

Im starting to see why kids are punk shits these days. People dont believe in firm punishment of any form anymore. Are we not supposed to punish kids for doing wrong anymore? I remember writing 5000 lines of "I will not play with matches", and i never played with matches ever again.

We've become too soft as a population. Let people get away with everything and teach no discipline whatsoever...but not in MY house.

When I did something wrong as a kid, I got spanked.
When I have kids, I am going to do the same thing.
Kids are little shits nowadays because the parents aren't hard enough on they're kids.

Posted by Caligula When I did something wrong as a kid, I got spanked.

yep.
my mother had a wooden spoon just for the event.
she tried the time out routine... we laughed heartily at that shit.

beat your children.
they will thank you for it later.

Or, you could use respect and dignity as the basis for your relationship with your kids. I was spanked a couple of times as a kid, and I was never really opposed to it as an idea for raising children, but have never come to the point where it was needed. My wife was a lot more opposed to the idea of spanking, since she feels what she got as a kid was abuse.

Of course not every kid is the same, some kids probably need it, but I think that in most cases, people who resort to physical punishment are lazy and uncreative. And if a kid truly does need it, then that kid is already starting from such a deficit of personality and cognitive ability that it will always be a struggle to keep his head above water.

But really, unless it gets out of hand, its not such a big deal. Kids will survive. I just think that being raised in that way is limiting.

I'm lucky. My kids got good genes. They are not miserable little shits like Sam.

Posted by MutantMandias I'm lucky. My kids got good genes. They are not miserable little shits like Sam.

i was actually a good kid.
i can only imagine what kind of child Mandias was.

I don't have kids so I can only go off me and my bro. We got the wooden spoon & deserved it. We were fucked up, mouthy lil shits that needed an ass beating once in a while. One incident that comes to mind was a road trip to Colorado. We had a 70's Dodge van. Me and my bro were fighting in the back & pissing my pops off. He threatened an ass beating, but since we were in the back behind all the gear I felt it was a minor threat. So I talked shit back, daring him to stop the van, tear out all the gear & get us. Oops...forgot about the back doors. He wiped the van to the side of the road and straightened me out. I was very well behaved the rest of the trip. Not saying every kid needs a whoop'n but we did. I don't hold it against my parents & still love them the same.

Ultimate solution: don't have kids.

Posted by Lexi Ultimate solution: don't have kids.

That's our plan. I'm just a 37 year old kid myself. Probably still need an ass beating once in a while

Yeah, kids aren't for everyone. If there is any question in your head about whether or not to have kids, don't.

My intention is to have kids that will improve the world by some degree. Of course, my interpretation of an "improved world" may be suspect.

Posted by MutantMandias Or, you could use respect and dignity as the basis for your relationship with your kids. I was spanked a couple of times as a kid, and I was never really opposed to it as an idea for raising children, but have never come to the point where it was needed. My wife was a lot more opposed to the idea of spanking, since she feels what she got as a kid was abuse. Of course not every kid is the same, some kids probably need it, but I think that in most cases, people who resort to physical punishment are lazy and uncreative. And if a kid truly does need it, then that kid is already starting from such a deficit of personality and cognitive ability that it will always be a struggle to keep his head above water. But really, unless it gets out of hand, its not such a big deal. Kids will survive. I just think that being raised in that way is limiting. I'm lucky. My kids got good genes. They are not miserable little shits like Sam.

It was the exact same way for me growing up. I knew that the whole, "you might get spanked" thing loomed in the background. It only took one or two spankings to get the idea across.

I've worked with kids for 7 years now, and I can honestly say it is a gradual decline of the role as the parent, into the role of the parent who really wants to be their kids friend. I watched as one of my kids from work told his mom no, when she asked him to do something. She, the PARENT, goes, "oh ok." I turned to him and told him, "you have 5 seconds to do as you were asked." He did it. I'm sorry, I understand that kid isn't biologically mine. However, if I am going to be stuck with someone's terror child for 5 hrs a day, or 9 during the summer, I'll be damned if they think that is acceptable. The mother just gave me the evil-eye. I don't necessarily think you need to beat your children, or rely exclusively on having a heart to heart. But, it needs to be clear, at all times, that you are the parent. And what you say, goes. Period. However that is done, I guess is the hard part. I think what worked for me, growing up, was the good relationship I had with my folks, and the realistic limits they put on us. For example, profanity. My mom has a potty mouth. It was always explained to me like this, "You can say whatever the fuck you want. When you're 18. Before that, and there will be consequences." Sure enough, once I hit 18, she didn't fight me on it. Let me say whatever because I was a legal adult. (Sadly, some of my friends' parents tried the same thing, minus the whole, 'i'll actually let you do it when you're 18' part.)

/endrant

Posted by DiscountNinja I've worked with kids for 7 years now, and I can honestly say it is a gradual decline of the role as the parent, into the role of the parent who really wants to be their kids friend. I watched as one of my kids from work told his mom no, when she asked him to do something. She, the PARENT, goes, "oh ok." I turned to him and told him, "you have 5 seconds to do as you were asked." He did it. I'm sorry, I understand that kid isn't biologically mine. However, if I am going to be stuck with someone's terror child for 5 hrs a day, or 9 during the summer, I'll be damned if they think that is acceptable.

Werd. I am perfectly willing to deal with any kids that I come across that need a little redirection. They are usually surprised that an adult has given them a clear and well defined boundary, and then almost always go about following it without any problem.

I'm not one for abuse, but I also firmly believe that an ass beating is in the child's best interest from time to time. I still remember my father telling me, "All that bullshit about how this is going to hurt me more than it hurts you? Wrong motherfucker, wrong." I didn't screw up again for awhile, because I really didn't want whatever it was as much as I didn't want another ass beating. Life will kick your ass if you fuck up, so childhood is a good opportunity to instill a little discipline and establish the positive / negative reenforcement chain.

I'm not saying beat the kid like he owes you money, just.........well, yeah. I guess I am. Perhaps we could quit being a nation of whining pussies. "Oh, Johnny needs a time out." Johnny needs to be knocked the fuck out. "Oh, Johnny has ADD." Johnny has ants in the pants. We drug our kids and reason with them and what do we get? Our kids consistently suck compared to most industrialized nations in standardized testing, they won't obey parents or teachers, etc., etc. Sure, sure, lets be kinder and gentler. Perhaps our children being disgusted by our whining, cringing asses will be the wakeup. Does your boss reason with you at work? Fuck no, you do what you are told when you are told or you are gone.

Christ, I can't believe people can possibly be against legitimate discipline.

The answer is a balance somewhere in between giving ponies to troublemaking kids and what this Dad did.

About 2 years ago my buddies 4 year old bite me.. Well he wasn't having any of that shit. He gave a good spanking and tossed him in his room for an hour and let the kid scream to his hearts content.

it's been two years and the kid has NEVER bitten ANYONE and even said he wa sorry to me. He's a good kid just needed a bit of an ass whoopin to set he back on the straight and narrow. My folks gave me ass whoopins, and I deserved them every time. in the end it taught me more than it harmed me.. My kids will get the occasional ass whoopin when they need it, and every "expert" on the damn planet can get fucked.

you know what pisses me off? (probably not and you probably don't care either, but oh well)... what pisses me off to no end is the way medication is just thrown at kids. Why was it 20 years ago, no one ever had ADD or ADHD? Where did all this bullshit come from and why? No kids are on shit that i don't think would be given to the mildly psychotic years ago!

Posted by Samurai you know what pisses me off? (probably not and you probably don't care either, but oh well)... what pisses me off to no end is the way medication is just thrown at kids. Why was it 20 years ago, no one ever had ADD or ADHD? Where did all this bullshit come from and why? No kids are on shit that i don't think would be given to the mildly psychotic years ago!

THANKYOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


No one wants kids who act like a beat puppy, but ya don't want one that chases every goddam cat in the neighborhood either. Guess which one usually gets hit by the car tho.

I was very rarely spanked as a child, and I'm smart enough not to have children of my own, so I won't weigh in on whether spanking is an appropriate punishment or not.

However, I must beg of all parents to not spank your children in public. If you spank your child in public, you've subsequently ruined everyone's day who happens to be within screaming distance of your child. I don't care about how you're humiliating your child; I care about enjoying my coffee, or buying my groceries, or reading my book. When your horrible little son or daughter is busy screaming their stupid heads off because you beat them in public, I cannot do these things without my blood pressure skyrocketing. Thank you for your time.

Posted by SaraBellum I was very rarely spanked as a child, and I'm smart enough not to have children of my own, so I won't weigh in on whether spanking is an appropriate punishment or not. However, I must beg of all parents to not spank your children in public. If you spank your child in public, you've subsequently ruined everyone's day who happens to be within screaming distance of your child. I don't care about how you're humiliating your child; I care about enjoying my coffee, or buying my groceries, or reading my book. When your horrible little son or daughter is busy screaming their stupid heads off because you beat them in public, I cannot do these things without my blood pressure skyrocketing. Thank you for your time.

I feel your pain. That's what the punishment is for, to teach your damn kids to behave whilst in a public place. if you have to beat them in front of 20+ people, you have already failed.

Posted by JBuss He gave a good spanking and tossed him in his room for an hour and let the kid scream to his hearts content. it's been two years and the kid has NEVER bitten ANYONE and even said he wa sorry to me.

I'm sure the kid is fine, but all of that could easily have been accomished without screaming or beating, and then the kid wouldn't have learned that hitting and screaming are acceptable behaviors.

Our kids would never dare scream at us for anything.

Posted by MutantMandias I'm sure the kid is fine, but all of that could easily have been accomished without screaming or beating, and then the kid wouldn't have learned that hitting and screaming are acceptable behaviors. Our kids would never dare scream at us for anything.

when kids get spanked kids will cry. thats what i ment by screaming.. I doubt my bud would put up with his kids yelling at him that they want something.