I was leaving Lick's Home Burgers on Milner on Saturday night. They have very tasty burgers that are very unhealthy for you. I was parked right outside the restaurant in the nearest parking spot. Just before I walked out the door I clicked my remote door unlocker on my key fob. There was some dude standing at the curb and he said, "whooooo, that's freaky, the lights on that car coming on all be themselves!". I pretended not to hear him and walked to my car, hoping to avoid any conversation with the guy. Why take the chance of engaging in such a conversation? Who'd really benefit? I can't see me coming out ahead in a conversation that could ensue. Plus, getting away fast is key - you don't want to provoke the guy into any physical action.

Sounds like he was high,maybe?


On a different note,I had to pretend to ignore a crazed Hutterite today. He spent the entire day lounging around the lobby of the hotel I work at. He was lying down on the floor behind the empty front desk when I left,just a smiling away...

-Walking in the other direction usually works...running if needed.

-Moving to the sidewalk on the other side of the road if they're the crazy cat lady types.

-"Je ne pas parle le english".

-Pull out your cellphone and have a fake conversation with it while approaching said individual.

-Wearing earphones and pretending you don't hear them, but if they're really annoying/brave they'll try to get your attention by touching you in some way.

-"Sorry I don't have any change, I have to go, I left something on the stove 4 hours ago".

Do they still sing your order back to you at Lick's?

Posted by KublaKhan Do they still sing your order back to you at Lick's?

Indeed they do.

This just reminded me of something that happened a few months ago at my work.

I'm sitting here at my counter at the storage place and this guy walks into my office. He comes over to the counter, looks at me and says: "1987.... er.. 32!?"


I reply, "Er.. is that the unit number sir? whats your name?"


He stops and looks right at me, completely still and serious as fuck: "Hey joe! At the sound of the tone, the time will be 1987.. BEEP." The hairs all over my body stand up tall. He pauses for a bit, smiling.. and then "24! 32! How you doin man, I gotta go to 1987, can you call my sister? I think, 82, 34! You gotta phone I can use? 1987! 1987! I mean, can I get in?"

So I says to the guy, "Do you have a unit here? What's your name? I can't let you in unless you tell me"

So it continues with him blurting out random numbers and complete sentences of nonsense.. he actually manages to get out a name, says it's his sister, and asks if she can pick him up. I look it up and find a match in my computer, so I call this woman and tell her I have a man here trying to get into her unit, who says he's her brother. What she says chills me to the bone: "oh god"...pause.. "is he still there? you didn't let him in did you?", in a voice filled with panic. "Uhh.. yes ma'am, he's right here in the office.. would you please speak with him?" I ask. "Tell him I'm at work, tell him I can't pick him up... god.. I'm so sorry"... CLICK.

I slowly put the phone down, look up at the guy, deliver the news and wait to get shanked. He reacts with sadness. "Aww man that's my sister.. here.. maybe try this number.. 86... 4.. wait no.. 468.. 32..3. uh..yeah" stops and waits for me to dial. "There's gotta be more numbers then that man, that's not enough", he agrees "ahh shit.. yeah.. you gotta pen and paper?" I kindly oblige and he scribbles down a 13 number sequence on the paper.

I try different combinations with no success. Suddenly the phone rings.. I pick it up and it's his sister again "is he still there? let me talk to him". I hand the phone over and they discuss how she's at work and cannot come get him. Since I have some spare time, and like any sensible person about to be horrifically murdered, I place my cell phone on the counter and begin to video record my last moments.

"Please get out of there, I love you ok? I just can't come right now" I hear her say. "I LOVE YOU!! I LOVE YOU!! I LOVE YOU TOO.. I'M SORRY! I LOVE YOU! I"M SORRY" he yells desperately into the phone. She then must've asked to talk to me again because he shoves the phone back at me.

"Listen, my brother is very unstable, he has a lot of problems, you need to call the police, I don't know what he might do.. I have to go now, I'm at work, I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry" - click.

He asks for the phone again "I'll try my other sister".. and starts scribbling more numbers down onto the paper. Not wanting to upset this guy any further, I decide to hold off on calling the police right in front of him, and hand him the phone (I have another phone, and a panic button, so I wasn't giving up my only way to call help, in case anyone was wondering).

For a good 5 more minutes the two of us work on putting together a coherent number, and I make numerous calls to phone numbers that can in no way exist, in an attempt to humor the guy. Eventually he seems to realize it's not getting anywhere and gives up.. "Well, I gotta go.. 1987.. sorry for wasting your time sir.. thank you for helping me, I'm sorry" and turns to leave. He gets to the door, opens it, closes it, turns around, throws both arms into the air and yells "SAYONARRA!" , bows, and then leaves.


The door auto locks, I grab a metal pipe, and wait to see if he returns. Thankfully he does not, and that's the end of that.

Oh, he also left an entire extra large pizza with everything on it in my parking lot. I found it soon after he'd left. It was a completely uneaten pizza with all the toppings, still warm, from the pizza place down the street. I decided to toss it in the dumpster, though it was pretty tempting.

Anyway.. crazy people seem drawn to me for some reason.

Posted by ActionSatisfaction Esq. long post

Don't you have a video of this somewhere? Much more interesting than reading all about it.

Sadly, I deleted it while I was cleaning older pictures and videos off my phone's memory card. I thought I had already transferred it to my computer but I guess I was wrong.

Wow Action... wow haha

That's something no amount of employee training can prepare you for!

No video, didn't happen.






^_j/k

I am in EMS, dealing with Crazy people is a daily job for me :\

Posted by Mr. Fuzzy ... -Pull out your cellphone and have a fake conversation with it while approaching said individual. ...

Forget the cell phone. Just talk to yourself. I did that when I was walking down to Union station after midnight shifts in Toronto. Not even the vagrants wanted to get anywhere near me! It helps when you act a bit angry as well.

Posted by ActionSatisfaction Esq. He stops and looks right at me, completely still and serious as fuck: "Hey joe! At the sound of the tone, the time will be 1987.. BEEP." The hairs all over my body stand up tall. He pauses for a bit, smiling.. and then "24! 32! How you doin man, I gotta go to 1987, can you call my sister? I think, 82, 34! You gotta phone I can use? 1987! 1987! I mean, can I get in?"

Back when I first started my apprenticeship, I used to have a VERY strange customer with a VW Jetta. The whole interior (headliner, seats, door panels) was covered in random numbers written with a black sharpie. There were THOUSANDS of them.

One day he was ranting about how he won't go in his backyard any more because it's full of diamondback rattlesnakes. (I live in central Ontario...), and his neighbours are angry with him because he doesn't mow his lawn back there any more, but he won't risk getting bitten.

About a month after that, he smashed his car into the hospital, apparently he had threatened to crash an airplane into it a few weeks earlier.

Allegedly, the car had a ceiling fan attached to the front end when this happened...

I worked at Walmart for 5 years. There isn't enough internet for me to relay stories. From shitting in the isles ( yes plural) to coked up whores shopping nude it never ended. I learned to just be more batshit crazy than the crazies.

It's as though Walmart was (is) a living diorama of North American white trash. Visiting Walmart is like going to the zoo.

Posted by jeepdave I worked at Walmart for 5 years. There isn't enough internet for me to relay stories. From shitting in the isles ( yes plural) to coked up whores shopping nude it never ended. I learned to just be more batshit crazy than the crazies.

Sounds like my friends apartment. I'm not kidding.

Fedge-
you were in Scarborough, what did you expect?
altho Scarborough is not as bad as it used to be- with all that cRaZy gangsta crime shit of the 90's, now the wacky homeless people have moved in.

my strategy for living in "scare-borough":
just get in your car as fast as you can, tell them the car lights coming on is just your "magic powers"...
if that doesn't work and they jump on the hood of your car, crank up your radio, hit the gas and turn hard into a 180 degree turn they, will slide of the hood, then you're home free, just do don't look back....

Posted by logtec Fedge- you were in Scarborough, what did you expect? altho Scarborough is not as bad as it used to be- with all that cRaZy gangsta crime shit of the 90's, now the wacky homeless people have moved in. my strategy for living in "scare-borough": just get in your car as fast as you can, tell them the car lights coming on is just your "magic powers"... if that doesn't work and they jump on the hood of your car, crank up your radio, hit the gas and turn hard into a 180 degree turn they, will slide of the hood, then you're home free, just do don't look back....

man and most people thought i was insane...