I get up at 1:50 pm today, I have to leave the house by 2:30 for work. My roommates work at six am normally. So, I go check the mail, bring everyones mail in, put it in the designated area, and start towards the bathroom. My roommate darts in front of me with a towel:

me: so are you showering?
him: yep.
me: do you have to work afternoons today?
him: nope.
me: hm, could i shower real quick first? im not even washing my hair. it will take less than five minutes.
him: nope, you should have gotten up earlier.

He had no where to be, nothing to do, and a wide open day. Yet him and his boyfriend (who shower together EVERYDAY) could not wait five minutes for me shower. Even though their shower took 15-20 minutes. To me that was just an asshole power trip move, especially when they know i have to leave for work at 2:30 pm.

Also, my one roommate is unemployed so he sits around the house all day, dirtying shit up, and just hanging out with his friends. They cook almost everyday, and I never cook or eat there hardly ever. Since he's bored at home he will start deep cleaning shit and then leave the nasty daily shit to us IE: he will clean the walls and leave a sink and a half full of him and his boyfriends dishes for us to wash along with shitty notes about how he's cleaned the WHOLE house and we've done nothing. He will never talk about it with us, just resorts to leaving shitty ass notes taped on the cabinet. How the fuck are we suppose to deal with that? You dont have the balls to tell us to our face, and you post the note then go to bed?

So, yeah, tell me about your inconsiderate prick roommates so i can feel better than mine aren't as bad as yours.

My roommate Taylor is a total pig. He's been unemployed the entire time he's lived with me and I highly doubt he'll ever have a job in his life. I don't even remember the last time he helped out on the rent!

He sleeps at minimum 14 hours a day, getting up only to eat (and all of his food I provide) and use the bathroom. To top it off, he eats whatever he can find around the house, no matter who it belongs to! I actually had to get a lock for my own fridge to keep him out of it.

He only showers about once a month, and even then I have to force him to. Literally. I have to hold him down and wash him while he screams and kicks. And I've never heard a scream as loud as his. It is the shrillest, most piercing scream you'll ever hear. I don't know how he does it, but I do know that it is very alarming. One day I'm afraid my neighbors will call the police during one of these bath sessions, leading to a very awkward situation.

Anyway, he is also a huge douche when it comes to just hanging out. If you're in a certain spot on the couch he wants, he'll try to push you out of it, and he's usually successful. He just annoys and squirms his way underneath you until you're too uncomfortable to stay there.

And he definitely has some issues. If nobody is paying attention to him when I have a lot of people over, he cries and screams until he gets his way, or I have to lock him in the bathroom so his tantrums are at least muffled.

So all this sounds pretty bad already right? Well it's just the tip of the iceberg.

The guy has some.. difficulties using a normal toilet, so he shits in a box in the corner of my kitchen. I'm not exaggerating. To top it off I even have to clean my roommates shitbox up when it gets full.

It's seriously fucked up... I mean... try bringing a girl home to that, see how that works: "Sure babe, I'll be in in a moment, let me just dump this box full of shit into a bag and bring it outside first so we can breathe in here!"

Let me tell you something: It doesn't.

------------------------

Anyway, hope that cheers you up a bit!

Next time, eat your room mate. He sounds like a total pig.

And belleZ...hop in the shower with them. I can personally guarantee that they will never hassle you over shower time again.

Posted by ActionSatisfaction Esq. And he definitely has some issues. If nobody is paying attention to him when I have a lot of people over, he cries and screams until he gets his way, or I have to lock him in the bathroom so his tantrums are at least muffled.

oh, mine do that too thanks.

Post by KublaKhan And belleZ...hop in the shower with them. I can personally guarantee that they will never hassle you over shower time again.

you are a genius, pure and simple.

modified because i suck at poasting.

What a prick. Walk around naked and say something like, "If you don't clean up your shit I'll sit on your face!"

Posted by Oryx What a prick. Walk around naked and say something like, "If you don't clean up your shit I'll sit on your face!"

Say it anyway. I'll be right over with a mountain of trash.

my ex roommate did similar things. no job, smelled, bitched all the time. threatened me ect.. he went to far when he tried to get down with my girl coming close to rape before she kicked his nutsack.


So I called the cops and told them I thought my roomie had kiddie porn on his computer. end note was him being arrested, computer seized and in fact they DID find kiddie stuff on his computer and he is now in jail and I am free and happy with my own place now...



yes I am an asshole.

Posted by JBuss my ex roommate did similar things. no job, smelled, bitched all the time. threatened me ect.. he went to far when he tried to get down with my girl coming close to rape before she kicked his nutsack. So I called the cops and told them I thought my roomie had kiddie porn on his computer. end note was him being arrested, computer seized and in fact they DID find kiddie stuff on his computer and he is now in jail and I am free and happy with my own place now... yes I am an asshole.

Wow.... wow.

Yes Oryx ... just ask big Dave.. I can be a major asshole. I have even successfully driven away the jerk next door once by causing him to get a divorce... course it didn't take much... as he was already cheating on his wife, just a few pictures is all it took

Posted by ActionSatisfaction Esq. The guy has some.. difficulties using a normal toilet, so he shits in a box in the corner of my kitchen. I'm not exaggerating. To top it off I even have to clean my roommates shitbox up when it gets full. It's seriously fucked up... I mean... try bringing a girl home to that, see how that works: "Sure babe, I'll be in in a moment, let me just dump this box full of shit into a bag and bring it outside first so we can breathe in here!"

That's priceless!

Corrected version:

Posted by Taylor My roommate ActionSatisfaction Esq. is a total pig. He's been unemployed the entire time he's lived with me and I highly doubt he'll ever have a job in his life. I don't even remember the last time he helped out on the rent! ...and so on.

Posted by metawaffle Corrected version:

That's not very punny.

Posted by JBuss Yes Oryx ... just ask big Dave.. I can be a major asshole. I have even successfully driven away the jerk next door once by causing him to get a divorce... course it didn't take much... as he was already cheating on his wife, just a few pictures is all it took

Haha that's awesome! We should hang out

And Action! When do I get to meet the piggy??

Posted by ActionSatisfaction Esq. My roommate Taylor is a total pig. He's been unemployed the entire time he's lived with me and I highly doubt he'll ever have a job in his life. I don't even remember the last time he helped out on the rent!

what you describe, sounds pretty much like any cat. i would also like to point out that my cat is also a worthless layabout.

my last roommates knew I had to work early saturday and sunday morning, so they would have a party, point the speakers at the ceiling and crank music all night. I'd get pissed off and go into work, sleep on the conference table there. One night, one of the guests at their beer blast threw beer all over the windshield of my 91 Cavalier. It was -40F that night... Ever try to get beer off when it's that cold. When he came out to his car, I had thrown a cinderblock through his windshield.
this was why i used to have guns... impetuous reactions.

Posted by Samurai my last roommates knew I had to work early saturday and sunday morning, so they would have a party, point the speakers at the ceiling and crank music all night. I'd get pissed off and go into work, sleep on the conference table there. One night, one of the guests at their beer blast threw beer all over the windshield of my 91 Cavalier. It was -40F that night... Ever try to get beer off when it's that cold. When he came out to his car, I had thrown a cinderblock through his windshield. this was why i used to have guns... impetuous reactions.

good god, i would have stabbed them.


my roommates constantly invite their nephews/nieces over and they bang on my player piano in the dining room or HAVE to show them the zoo of animals right outside my other roommate and mine's bedroom.

Posted by ActionSatisfaction Esq. My roommate Taylor is a total pig. He's been unemployed the entire time he's lived with me and I highly doubt he'll ever have a job in his life. I don't even remember the last time he helped out on the rent! He sleeps at minimum 14 hours a day, getting up only to eat (and all of his food I provide) and use the bathroom. To top it off, he eats whatever he can find around the house, no matter who it belongs to! I actually had to get a lock for my own fridge to keep him out of it. He only showers about once a month, and even then I have to force him to. Literally. I have to hold him down and wash him while he screams and kicks. And I've never heard a scream as loud as his. It is the shrillest, most piercing scream you'll ever hear. I don't know how he does it, but I do know that it is very alarming. One day I'm afraid my neighbors will call the police during one of these bath sessions, leading to a very awkward situation. Anyway, he is also a huge douche when it comes to just hanging out. If you're in a certain spot on the couch he wants, he'll try to push you out of it, and he's usually successful. He just annoys and squirms his way underneath you until you're too uncomfortable to stay there. And he definitely has some issues. If nobody is paying attention to him when I have a lot of people over, he cries and screams until he gets his way, or I have to lock him in the bathroom so his tantrums are at least muffled. So all this sounds pretty bad already right? Well it's just the tip of the iceberg. The guy has some.. difficulties using a normal toilet, so he shits in a box in the corner of my kitchen. I'm not exaggerating. To top it off I even have to clean my roommates shitbox up when it gets full. It's seriously fucked up... I mean... try bringing a girl home to that, see how that works: "Sure babe, I'll be in in a moment, let me just dump this box full of shit into a bag and bring it outside first so we can breathe in here!" Let me tell you something: It doesn't. ------------------------ Anyway, hope that cheers you up a bit!

I Miss that pig. Hid under the bed most of the night, I think he feared Che was gonna cook him.

Posted by neX_ what you describe, sounds pretty much like any cat. i would also like to point out that my cat is also a worthless layabout.

I was going to add cat ears to this picture and caption with "meow", but SOMEBODY deleted the calculator and Paint programs from his computer.

click to view

Posted by Duffy I Miss that pig. Hid under the bed most of the night, I think he feared Che was gonna cook him.

Thanks for that memory. I really appreciate things like that.
No, really. I'm not being sarcastic. Please, tell me more. Those are always my favorite kind of stories to hear.

......
Anyway.

Taylor would be a better roommate had his father been more consistent with him and laid down the rules better. Instead, he lets him push him around and bully him and is even praised when he does things that hurt people.

He is a good snuggler, though....
Besides, I HAVE a roommate who makes messes and expects me to clean up after him, too. But I wouldn't quite call him a "pig".

my last roommate. Hehe. He would do everything fucked up. Only thing he did right was pay the bills on time. He would have his cousins over and they would get drunk and fight breaking shit. Mind you we had a REALLY lavish place for people our age.

He would yell and fight with his girl all day, let his cat piss in my room, would go through my personal things , eat my food , drink my beer , PISS in MY bathtub on purpose and laugh about it leaving piss stains for me to find in the AM hours before going to work. Shit got alot better when we started working diffrent shifts !

Well about a month before we moved out (lease was up and we were going to go seperate ways) Me and his girl(who lived there 50% of the time) started having long conversations when he was @ work and she grew a liking for me. So, Mind you I had installed a webcam in my room that recorded all day so I would know if he stole from me. I acted like I was really into her. 2 days before we moved out I went for it, and banged her without a hitch. After moving out and him not knowing my new place of residence or job info (wasnt working) I promptly E-mailed him a few mins the footage.

He called and of course I thought I got him back for him being a dick for a year, but in reality he thanked me. He gladly thanked me for giving him a good reason to dump her. Damn. FTL.

What I came home to..

They were both up and neither of them had the BALLS to confront me or my other roommate.

1. dishes more often? wtf, we have been the only ones doing the dishes, meanwhile we haven't COOKED or used a single plate. maybe one glass, if that.
2. uhm i wiped the microwave out YESTERDAY!
3. we wouldn't have to sweep and mop everyday if they didn't have THREE DOGS and THREE CATS, one of which was pissing on the couches until they finally got it fixed.
4. I use the same towel for at least three to four showers (its hung up to dry in my room on a hook), its not my fault you use a new towel each shower.
5. uh, i haven't bought beers in like two months.
6. ugh
7. if you are cooking you should wipe down the stove, i never cook therefore i only wipe the sink down when cleaning the kitchen, if you spill tomato sauce while cooking have the decency to merely wipe it up with a rag, its not hard.
8,9,10. everyone does this, just STFU!

If they would clean up after themselves, there would be HALF the mess, and the reasons for their complaints.

Also they said they want to live alone, and will be moved out by JAN! woo!