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UER Forum > Private Boards Index > Relationships > curiousity: how do you get over someone? (Viewed 2409 times)
belleZ 


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curiousity: how do you get over someone?
< on 10/24/2010 3:26 PM >
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So how do you do it? I dont want any of this time can heal shit, either.




“What you might see as depravity is, to me, just another aspect of the human condition.” - A.Argento
Shael 


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Baaaaah.

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Re: curiousity: how do you get over someone?
< Reply # 1 on 10/24/2010 3:30 PM >
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Honey, time doesn't heal shit.

Only thing that does is moving on, finding someone else and turning your attentions away from what you've lost.

What makes it tough for me is when the person you've turned your attentions to ends up sick, really sick. Like heart surgery sick and there's nothing you can do about it. Which is what I'm going through right now.

What really got me about it...he never told me. He just didn't show up for work and never told anyone what the matter was. He spent 3 days in the hospital last week, never said a word, never called me back, just came back to work for a few days, until they told him he needed surgery and then disappeared without telling anyone.



[last edit 10/24/2010 3:36 PM by Shael - edited 1 times]

"The best wine lies at the bottom of the pail/And Happiness lies below the navel." - Drukpa Kunley, "The Divine Madman of the Dragon Lineage" and "Saint of 5,000 Women".
dirt 


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Re: curiousity: how do you get over someone?
< Reply # 2 on 10/24/2010 4:44 PM >
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Replacing one person for another doesn't work. All you end up doing repeating relationship patterns.

The way to get over someone is rather simple. You choose to get over them. Distance, Time, and Intention. Stop thinking about them. Using the negatives will not help. You can have all the hate in the world and it won't fix a thing. If anything you are fueling a fire. People who can't get over emotional attachments don't want it badly enough. Sometimes there is something to be learned.

If you are one for ritual, you can imagine the attachment to the person as a beam of light of gold or silver colour. Imagine it coming out of your Solar Plexus and flowing to the other persons Solar plexus. Now imagine your right hand is on fire. Use that hand to cut the beam. Once that is done, trace a pentagram over your body with your left hand.




He seemed to move among very delicate objects, on ground mined with goodness knows what precious explosives. ~ Jean Cocteau
Oryx 


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Re: curiousity: how do you get over someone?
< Reply # 3 on 10/24/2010 7:18 PM >
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What dirt said. Also, there are a lot of times where people will latch onto someone, or the idea of someone, to fill a gap in themselves. Insecurity, lack of self love, etc.




"Through all the windows I see only infinity."
House of Leaves
belleZ 


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Re: curiousity: how do you get over someone?
< Reply # 4 on 10/24/2010 8:11 PM >
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Posted by Oryx
What dirt said. Also, there are a lot of times where people will latch onto someone, or the idea of someone, to fill a gap in themselves. Insecurity, lack of self love, etc.


Well its certainly not "latching onto anyone to fill a void" it's totally different. But I'm mainly asking out of genuine curiosity.




“What you might see as depravity is, to me, just another aspect of the human condition.” - A.Argento
heinrick 


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Re: curiousity: how do you get over someone?
< Reply # 5 on 10/24/2010 8:23 PM >
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I begin to imagine the better things I could do with the time I spend wishing that someone was with me. Then I fucking to them on my own.




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MindHacker 


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Re: curiousity: how do you get over someone?
< Reply # 6 on 10/25/2010 2:26 AM >
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Posted by heinrick
I begin to imagine the better things I could do with the time I spend wishing that someone was with me. Then I fucking do them on my own.

Well said.


Personally: Rebounds + heights. Hook up with a new someone, climb something tall enough to kill you. Repeat as needed.

Not necessarily the most healthy way to go about it, but not the worst either.




"That's just my opinion. I would, however, advocate for explosive breaching, since speed and looking cool are both concerns in my job."-Wilkinshire
Neptune 


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Re: curiousity: how do you get over someone?
< Reply # 7 on 10/25/2010 3:06 AM >
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Good question. Wish I could help, but I've been longing for my ex for nearly 6 months now and nothing seems to ease the pain.




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Shael 


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Baaaaah.

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Re: curiousity: how do you get over someone?
< Reply # 8 on 10/25/2010 4:01 AM >
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I wasn't talking about a rebound.

I'm only talking about spending time with someone else. This guy is a really good friend and someone I would get involved with, if I could, but that isn't going to happen. We're better together than we are apart, that's for sure and the company we work for knows it, but it doesn't mean he's a rebound. I've been throwing myself into my work and trying to make my working relationship with him, which I'd neglected while I was with my ex, better.

I love the guy, he knows I love him after I broke down and told him a while ago, but we can't and won't get that involved. We've talked about it. The biggest problem is just because we get along and work so well together doesn't mean we'd do so well together outside of work. So, we don't take that next step, it stays at work.

I told him that my feelings don't change anything, the only thing it changes is the extent of what I would do for him and I don't mean sexually or anything crazy. I mean in the confines of work and my work with the union. Which means, with him being so sick, I have a lot of extra work to do until he can come back to work, both his job and my own at work, as well as his job and my own with the union, as we both are part of the executive board.

Basically what it comes down to is finding something better to do and someone better to do it with. Sorry for the long story.




"The best wine lies at the bottom of the pail/And Happiness lies below the navel." - Drukpa Kunley, "The Divine Madman of the Dragon Lineage" and "Saint of 5,000 Women".
shockface 


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im so glad i have something to do on the weekends

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Re: curiousity: how do you get over someone?
< Reply # 9 on 10/25/2010 3:22 PM >
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I just remember why it is we broke up (i have yet to be dumped) and realize its for the best. Also I change my mind on what I want. Takes effort but its worth it, not many people realize they can control their emotions so they become comfortable with that emotion being around and they dwell on it. I dont I just change my mind and if needed remember why I did something.




Quo vadis?
Porcelain Doll 


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Re: curiousity: how do you get over someone?
< Reply # 10 on 10/26/2010 2:03 AM >
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Posted by Neptune
Good question. Wish I could help, but I've been longing for my ex for nearly 6 months now and nothing seems to ease the pain.


+1.




it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.

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LauraBeth 


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where to go

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Re: curiousity: how do you get over someone?
< Reply # 11 on 10/31/2010 12:23 AM >
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Focus on yourself and your goals and the strength you know you have. Throw yourself into the things you love to do, or try something new. Learn who you are without someone else and love it. Soon, you'll actually not want to be in a relationship for awhile and it'll feel pretty good to realize you don't want something that just months before you thought you couldn't live without.




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Re: curiousity: how do you get over someone?
< Reply # 12 on 11/1/2010 2:04 PM >
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For me, it were time + the realisation that she is doing stupid things with her life right now. I don't know exactly what happened, but for about 15 months after we broke up (she dumped me) I've felt shitty, though slowly less shitty, then all of a sudden I was over it after I learnt that she had abandoned university study and is now doing shitty jobs and happy about it.

Last week we met for a day at a friends and I didn't find it difficult whatsoever; an earlier meet was very difficult for me.




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Neo 


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Re: curiousity: how do you get over someone?
< Reply # 13 on 11/8/2010 2:34 AM >
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Posted by belleZ
So how do you do it? I dont want any of this time can heal shit, either.


I'll be over tonight to explain in person




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<Neo> Thank you Lexi ** Neo has de-opped Lexi
belleZ 


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Re: curiousity: how do you get over someone?
< Reply # 14 on 11/14/2010 12:28 PM >
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Posted by Neo


I'll be over tonight to explain in person


SCORE! ;]




“What you might see as depravity is, to me, just another aspect of the human condition.” - A.Argento
Senseriffic 


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Re: curiousity: how do you get over someone?
< Reply # 15 on 12/2/2010 2:20 AM >
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gotta find what works for you... for me personally... initially to get over it I go out with my friends a lot... just so I don't feel lonely. Then I find something very constructive to do with my time. When relationships end it can be a real bitch to find a way to replace your habits... I've been in enough of them to find a system that works. Just do whatever makes you feel happy and never give up doing it....

actually exploring was a huge part of that after a nasty break up a few years ago lol




The blind lead the blind into bottomless pits,
Still we smile and deny that we're cursed.
But of all our iniquities ignorance may be the worst.
G to the Race 


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Re: curiousity: how do you get over someone?
< Reply # 16 on 12/2/2010 2:37 AM >
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You don't. But, you do eventually find another thing that takes up the space in your life that that person held be it another person, reading, the internet, exploring, whatever. Really, you know the answer is time. You'll get there, and if it didn't suck it wouldn't be worth trying again.




You betcha
compaq12986 


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Re: curiousity: how do you get over someone?
< Reply # 17 on 12/2/2010 5:20 AM >
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for me its beer+drugs+man whoring shamelessly for a few weeks. dont take my advice its horrible advice and im a x drug addict alcoholic convict, nothing in my life suggests i give good advice.




The Misandry around these parts is redonkulous. Sorry I was born with male anatomy.
belleZ 


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Re: curiousity: how do you get over someone?
< Reply # 18 on 12/3/2010 12:26 PM >
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Posted by compaq12986
for me its beer+drugs+man whoring shamelessly for a few weeks. dont take my advice its horrible advice and im a x drug addict alcoholic convict, nothing in my life suggests i give good advice.


lol, you should be in an after school special.





“What you might see as depravity is, to me, just another aspect of the human condition.” - A.Argento
victoria- 


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Re: curiousity: how do you get over someone?
< Reply # 19 on 12/5/2010 11:45 PM >
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When I started missing my Ex boyfriend and thinking why did we break up, and being all not over him. I decided to hangout with him for a day and man when I left that situation I remembered exactly why we broke up and I haven't missed him since.




UER Forum > Private Boards Index > Relationships > curiousity: how do you get over someone? (Viewed 2409 times)
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