This little bastard keeps breaking into my apartment.



He has done it several times tonight alone. He is fine until I try to forcible remove him, then he hisses, scratches and bites. Otherwise he is friendly? Well, he likes to be pet.

Right now he is curled up in a pile of my dirty laundry. I don't know what to do with him. I want him out. He has been harassing me and my cats for years. I throw him out and he just fights to come right back in.

Here is a picture of my cat, Nikita, inspecting the bastard



How sweet and brave of him.

I should mention that this black cat put my sweet Nikita in the hospital not too long ago.

So, basically, I want to give this cat to the person who lives the furthest from me. So, any takers?

I will try to remove him tonight (I am already covered in scratches from my last attempt), but if you want him I am positive I can catch him again.

Oh, he is not fixed and I get the impression that he is feral. I call him merowy because he sit outside my apartment screaming all night.

This is the anal rape cat?

Would it be mean to spray him with that fluorescent paint the use to mark cattle? You'd see him pretty easily if he was mostly pink...

Posted by racetraitor This is the anal rape cat?

Yes.

Post by metawaffle Would it be mean to spray him with that fluorescent paint the use to mark cattle? You'd see him pretty easily if he was mostly pink...

Yes.

Could you put a collar on the cat, with a tag that says "I'm desexing your cat in seven days unless you call me on blah blah"?

I just might do that.

Nice-looking cat, actually. Looks almost exactly like mine.

I think you live just the right distance from me to be a good potion for this fellow. He is adorable. Come on over and pick him up.

Well, you could always ship his little ass to Abu Dhabi...I'm sure some sheik would love to have him...especially with the anal rape talent and FedEx has pretty good rates.

Shael

Posted by argonian I think you live just the right distance from me to be a good potion for this fellow. He is adorable. Come on over and pick him up.

LOL - no thanks. One is pain-in-the-ass enough for me.

A real urbex'r cat? Does it have its own high-powered flashlight and a grappling hook?

Posted by KublaKhan A real urbex'r cat? Does it have its own high-powered flashlight and a grappling hook?

At least you know it has good infiltration skills.

Posted by metawaffle At least you know it has good infiltration skills.

But Ontario trespass law clearly states, when the owner, or an agent acting on the owner's behalf instructs you to leave the property, you must. I say this is open and shut.

Execute him!

Posted by PhotoSeeker But Ontario trespass law clearly states, when the owner, or an agent acting on the owner's behalf instructs you to leave the property, you must. I say this is open and shut. Execute him!

Yeah, but cats are assholes who never ever listen ever to anything you say ever. You honestly think some urbex cat is going to give a shit about some moron telling it to 'leave or I'll call security'? Fuck no.

Posted by KublaKhan Yeah, but cats are assholes who never ever listen ever to anything you say ever. You honestly think some urbex cat is going to give a shit about some moron telling it to 'leave or I'll call security'? Fuck no.

That's why, in this case, we either introduce him to another abandonment (Hearn would be my suggestion) or summary execution.

Update.



He has moved in. I fought it, but I guess that is what he has wanted for so long. I guess it worked out for the best.

My cats always had cuts on their faces and on their necks, scabs and open wounds. Now, nothing. The beatings have ended and the love has started.

Aw he is a pretty baby.

he just wanted to be loved and have a warm home...

I like that you've kept with the must-always-have-a-second-cat-in-background approach to your cat portaiture.

Also: You big softy

Posted by shellyl Aw he is a pretty baby.

He photographs well. Actually he is really scruffy, dirty, scabby, stinky and skinny. He is really stinky. Possibly because he isn't fixed and I see him spraying outside. Today I tripped and fell on the couch and he was under it. It gave him a start. I think he let out a squirt because it kind of smells musky like him now. It is kind of a dog smell.

Post by vicexsquad he just wanted to be loved and have a warm home...

I feel bad that I waited until after the coldest days to let him in.

Post by metawaffle I like that you've kept with the must-always-have-a-second-cat-in-background approach to your cat portaiture.

I should get more spares to ensure there is always one in the background.