This occurred to me yesterday during a discussion with my wife about the origins of Christianity.

There once was a guy named Saul. His job was to travel from town to town and lay some smack down on a heretical sect of Jews. It wasn't a great job, but it was his, and he was pretty good at it.

Eventually, he got kind of bored with the whole thing though. Back in those days, transportation was a little more manual then today, and the job consisted of a lot of travel. So he had a lot of time to think during his walks from town to town to find the followers of this annoying new group.

And every time he found them, they would go on and on about how awesome this guy was who had died a few years ago. He was like, totally awesome. They clearly were just kind of flailing about and telling each other stories about stuff that this guy did, making up what suited them and their purposes at the time.

Saul was sick of them and their shit. Saul was sick of having to travel all the time.

So one day, as he was nearing the next town on his itinerary, and dreading staying the night at the crappy Damascus Inn, he had a brilliant fucking idea.

"Screw this shit!" he thought. "I am sick of it. These stupid fucks are worshiping some dead guy, and he didn't even bother leaving them a set of instructions. They are making it up as they go. I bet that guy could have gotten so much pussy if he hadn't been killed." And then it struck him, like a flash, like a smack to the head. "Holy shit," he thought, "I could totally pwn these guys. If I could work my way in on this scam, I could be set for fucking life. No more travel. Shit, I could just tell these idiots what to do by writing them letters, all while I'm getting blown!"

"I've just got to figure out my in. What would convince them that they need to listen to me? Let's see... They already think this guy rose from the dead... so obviously they will buy just about anything. Fuck it, I'll just keep it simple,... uh... Yeah... so Jesse, no wait, it's Jesus, yeah. Jesus appeared to me and said, 'Saul, why you gotta play me like that?'"

"Well, I can work on the actual quote later, I guess. This is gonna work! Man, I am going to go get fucking blind drunk. This is awesome!"

And thus was born the first L. Ron Hubbard, a man who created a religion in order to get blown.

if you have a problem with christianity, ok, but theres no need to say what others believe in is just a load of crap. I hate when people do that, just because you dont believe in it does not mean its not real. I very much believe that christ died on the cross for me, and I also believe that he rose from the dead. No one is making fun of you for not believing, why must you make fun of us for believing?

Wow. I thought this thread had been deleted. I even tried searching for it and couldn't find it.

Whatever. I'm just offering an alternate theological analysis of the origins of the New Testament. It seems to be the best explanation for how Saul took over the religion.

'cept for the part where Saul/Paul was known to be an ascetic and not all that interested in the opposite sex. In fact, if history is correct Paul's fondest wish seems to have been to be crucified himself, which ironically he could not since he was a Roman citizen.

Posted by Watcher Paul's fondest wish seems to have been to be crucified himself

Ahh.


Kinky.