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UER Forum > Journal Index > Longbow's Journal > Midnight kyaking trip with Mark (Viewed 2276 times)
Midnight kyaking trip with Mark
entry by longbaugh 
3/30/2005 1:29 AM

So Mark and I meet up at our White Water & Mountaineering club monday night and we decide to go kyaking that night instead of rock climbing like we usually do. One of the reasons is because we've had allot of rain the past couple days and the saluda river rapids http://www.uer.ca/...ow.asp?locid=20871 are completely submerged with like 15,000 cubic gallons per second flow. (usual is around 3,000 gps) So anyway we decide to bring two buddies from the club with us since they have kyaking experience and where rarin' to go. So we get there at about 9:00 and get everybody geared up, since its dark and we are probably going to die we decide to tie glowsticks to ourselves and to the kyaks to make it easier to find after we roll and are pinned to the bottom and bashed to death by our own kyaks. So we gear up and as we make our way to the river we notice that it is quite higher than we had expected, Mark is like " if anyone doesn't want to do this then they shouldn't cause its a real bitch to haul a lifeless corpse out of the water and I don't want to cut into my kyaking time." So the two guys we brought with us are really starting to get nervous about running it, on top of that you can hear these rapids roaring like my mother after she takes her hormone pills. So we get in and are trying to make our way upsteam so that we can get a better line and hopefully wont get raped by any trees, I am in the lead and Mark is calling after me to wait up for everyone and I'm like "natural selection." So everyone finally gets in position and Mark takes point and starts to line up for the run when one of the guys gets flung into a group of trees by the shore, since we would rather not have to drag a lifeless corpse out of the river we convince the two guys we brought to not run it and get out there on the shore. So they get out and head down to the base of the rapids which is about a mile off. Mark and I slide back out into the main current amid jokes about splitting up the gear and all that, so Mark takes point again and I follow him down. The last time I was this scared was at the 2002 NewYears party were I was getting shot at, we hit the first set of rapids and realize that if we make it through this then we are no mear mortals. The waves from the rapids are cresting about 2 ft over our heads and as we go through each rapid we are completely submerged and are pushed under the water from the tremendous current, I immediately rededicate my life to christ and start going through every prayer I have ever heard in church. Meanwhile Mark is chanting Islamic death songs and shouting Allah Akbar at the top of his lungs. I make it through the worst part of the river right behind Mark and we get flung against some boulders on the shore right before the last big rapid. We decide to get out and Mark immediatly begins to perform several erotic rituals with one of the smaller boulders while kissing it and speaking sweat nothings into its rocky ears. Something about being alive, odd, I kept my cool through the entire thing ;). So the two guys reach us just as Mark is finishing up with the rock and they voice their opinion on how lucky we were and how awesome it was watching us come down. So Mark and I decide to run the last little rapid before getting out. Well I catch a rock sideways and get flung into the current on the wrong angle and immediately roll. Which sucks cause now I have to haul a filled kyak to shore while hanging on to my paddle while trying to bounce off the rocks and dodge trees. Did I mention that the water was barely above freezing? Cold, dark, bouncing off trees and rocks and I realize that I truely do live for this shit. So after grabing a tree close to shore Mark wades in and helps me pull out the kyak. We dump it and I decide to hold below the rapids to help out whoever runs it next. So Mark goes and has a stellar run down with an extra 10 pts for doing a 360 halfway down without rolling.(although he is probably hoarse from screaming like a little girl) Next comes one of the buddies and he actually rolls before hitting the rapids and has some trouble getting out so he has to drop the paddle. I retrieve the kyak with the help of Mark and the last guy goes down without any trouble. All in all a great night for some water sports. I think that was about it. Mark? Can you add anything?


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Mark 

Very Noble Donor


Location: South Carolina
Gender: Male
Total Likes: 16 likes


What is a lion, king of the savannah, when hes at the south pole?

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Re: Midnight kyaking trip with Mark
< Reply # 1 on 3/30/2005 2:55 AM >
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Posted on Forum: UER Forum
Umm yeah. I never said anything about lifeless corpses. I never screamed anything islamic. I said Alhi Ackbar at top since your very christian I figure someone had to here us. That and I forgot the viking chant.

Also I wasnt doing anything sexual with the rock. I flopped on it and kissed it a few times.

There was no screaming from me the whole time. I dont waste my effort. Why die out of breath.





"If the threat level goes up its probably because of me." "I am looking for a girl who enjoys headbutting beltbuckles"
longbaugh 


Location: Columbia, S.C.
Gender: Male
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Me all decked out at 8 yrs old. I started young.

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Re: Midnight kyaking trip with Mark
< Reply # 2 on 3/31/2005 4:23 AM >
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Posted on Forum: UER Forum
My mistake.




Blessed be the pessimist, for he packs extra ammo.

I can't go to work today. The voices told me to stay home and clean the guns, the penguins are coming.

The way to a man's heart is with a broadsword.
UER Forum > Journal Index > Longbow's Journal > Midnight kyaking trip with Mark (Viewed 2276 times)


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