|Peptic Ulcer |
Location: Katy, TX
Total Likes: 814 likes
"Isn't it fun - being bad?"
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|Re: Doin'' it Oklahoma Style-Suggestions Needed|
< Reply # 2 on 6/28/2017 2:36 AM >
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After plotting over 100 points of interest in Oklahoma Mrs. Ulcer looked at the places she REALLY wanted to see. When I showed her what the drive was like and that these places are just points in an otherwise flat, boring state she got pissed! She felt cheated, betrayed by the photographers who took beautiful photos of an otherwise desolate wasteland. When I explained that there was a reason they moved all of the Indians there I was suddenly being insensitive. Her frustration was unleashed on me and God smudging his painting north of Texas was now somehow my fault!
As she stormed out of the room pissed and disappointed that the trip we had been so excited about just hours before was now in ruins worse than the state we had planned on visiting, I was suddenly struck by an idea! The Ozarks!
I had visited some beautiful mountains a couple of hours north of Frog Level, AR (yes thats a real place...) years before and was amazed by their beauty. To this day I have no idea where we went but I was in the zone. It was like an out of body experience. My fingers were flying furiously over the keyboard, whipping across the touch pad and clicking the buttons on my laptop in a blur. I had to work fast. She was outside smoking, stewing over the fact that all of our plans had been shattered.
Suddenly I found it! The Ultimate Ozark Roadtrip! I was saved! Moments later the back door opened and in she strode, her steps heavy, fast and full of purpose. She walked past me without even a glance, obviously distracted and thinking about another boring long weekend sitting at home. When she made it into the kitchen I heard the refrigerator open and the words uttered, "You know what pisses me off?" This obviously being a rhetorical question I deemed it wise to leave it hanging there, unanswered. A pause ensued and she continued, "I spent hours looking at all of those places and they look NOTHING like the photos! I wanted to see the mountains and waterfalls and everything around those spots was flat and boring!"
My only reply was a muted, "Mmmmm Hhhhmmmm". I figured it best to not feed the fire or spring my suggestion on her too soon lest she reject it out of hand due to her frustration. I began pulling up photos of some of the places in the Ozarks as she raged about this and that (I really have no idea what she was saying as I was distracted and simply uttered the occasional, "Oh I know" or "I you're right!" whenever there was a pause).
Finally her wrath at dishonest photographers and God's neglect seemed to subside and I said, "What do you think about this place?" turning the laptop around to show her a beautiful mountain waterfall. "Oh my god where is that!" I told her about the Ozarks and she was sold. Since my daughter just moved to Little Rock we quickly got her on the phone and the two were chatting it up like a couple of teenage girls on Red Bull and meth. A final route was decided, destinations plotted and a map handed to me to begin the process of handling the logistics of lodging.
Once again the twinkle in her eye returned, the excitement and anticipation of the trip transformed the crimson of her cheek to a warm rosy glow. She gets her waterfalls and I get my Titan missile sites!
Everything seems to be worked out but I no longer need any suggestions on things to see/do in Oklahoma. I suspect that after Mrs. Ulcer's viewing it on Google Earth, I never again will need those suggestions....
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