1.



So I'm driving down the road today and saw the home of an old friend of mine so I stopped by to say hello.


2.


Ham's been extremely busy remodeling the place but he took time out of his busy schedule of interior decoration to show me around. The first stop - the grand foyer which he explained was a loft style open concept design.

3.


Being the avant-garde renaissance man that he is Ham had specially commissioned artwork for both of the main walls. Unfortunately even the finest artist in town could not satisfy his exacting standards so in a bold move he tossed the painter out on his rear and has decided to lend his own creative twist to the walls. You can see that it is a work in progress but I can already tell where this visionary is headed!

4.


5.


The next stop was the kitchen which has a lovely tiled bar for entertaining guests. Since the foyer flows into the kitchen it's obvious to see his genius at work here. This place is PERFECT for the frequent cocktail parties, and ballroom dancing for which Ham is famous!

6.


He then showed me to one of 2 bathrooms in his home. He explained that this one is on the mend so I would have to use the secondary one (both are pictured below).

7.


8.


I was then escorted to the master bedroom where the prodigy of imagination and inspiration are obviously at work! As you can see, Ham is accustomed to only the finest furnishings - each an original; hand crafted by artisans throughout the world. No expense was spared for the quality and luxury of his own private getaway.

9.


10.


Again true inspiration and innovation was shown when he pointed out the elegant dining facilities of his luxury estate. Because most of you are low-born, you do not realize how busy and sought after a man like Ham is. The ladies are constantly after him (with a spread like this who wouldnt be!). Note his state of the art method of keeping them all straight!


11.


Next was the walk-in closet that would make any lady envious. Obviously his wardrobe consists of the newest installments from Armani. His acumen for design shows through as well with the subtle lighting and fresh air which keeps his ensembles crisp and new.


12.


We then made our way to the guest bedroom. It is in this area that Ham spares no expense for the comfort of his friends. The latest in air conditioning technology, a chair designed by Frank Lloyd Wright and 1000 count sheets of virgin Egyptian cotton grace the person fortunate enough to be asked to stay the night.


13.


14.


Finally we made our way back to the Foyer where Ham offered to share a beverage imported from Saxony from his own private 15th century brewery. As we sipped our stout, commiserating on old times I came to realize that Ham had it all. He is the man I always wanted to be however people like him only come along once in a lifetime - there to propel mankind forward and inspire us all to greatness.


15.

I know you and Ham are old Buds and all, but i would keep my distance. I am sure without a shadow of a doubt that Ham is full of Scabies and many other fun skin disorders.

LOL

Cool write-up to accompany those ever so delicious rooms Ham has set up.
All i can say is Run Man! Run Like wind!

the grunge factor is way off the scale

Awesome Post! I really like your silly writing/sarcastic descriptions of all the rooms. Your pics have great lighting and coloring! Nice selection of pics to post.

Most amusing and entertaining post I've read in eons !!

What an interesting place! I feel like I need a shower after just looking at these pics. Interior decorating notwithstanding, I suspect that Ham likes paint just a lil too much...if ya know what I mean.

I googled virgin Egyptian cotton... if anyone else was wondering no, it's not a real thing. Can't get over that last picture of all the tall boys, right in the feels.

Love it. Weird, I read the whole thing with a snooty California accent.

You must not have looked very hard. This was the 3rd result when I used yahoo: http://m.westernfa...quality-fabric-use

I don't want to turn this thread into a flame war but I think you have some real issues. The entire thing was meant as a parody. You picked out a single statement researched it and then felt compelled to post a reply that I made a mistake. In my humble opinion you have to fall into at least one of the following:

1. Very young and immature
2. Socially awkward
3. Sociopathic

Or

4. You're just an asshole.

Based on our past interactions I'm tempted to say All of the Above. So this doesn't turn into a huge back and forth on this thread let's make a deal. Please do not EVER comment on my work, my comments or anything else. Don't correct me if I'm wrong, don't look at my threads, don't think about me, don't tell me your opinions even if we are in agreement. In fact don't even take an antacid because it may remind you of a Peptic Ulcer.

You're new here and in spite of my best efforts to help you your presence here has been nothing but destructive. You've posted location names, location addresses, criticized others work, criticized the general ethics and social norms of this sites members, all the while not showing any of your own work. You have made not one single positive contribution whatsoever. The only impression I have of you is that you're a cancer to this forum.

I may be completely wrong about you and you're a great human being with a lot to offer, but the persona you show here doesn't reflect it. So until I begin to see that you are not one or all of the above previously mentioned things - I respectfully request that you have absolutely nothing to do with me.

I meant the part about the tall boys as a compliment, you snapped a photo of truly a thousand words with that shot. I can only imagine what it must be like to be living in a place like that, homeless, panhandling for change to buy Busch tall boys for only God knows how long. I applaud that photo and it was by far my favorite and I stand by my statement this is what I meant by right in the feels. As for the virgin Egyptian sheets comment I meant it as a lighthearted joke, I enjoyed reading your parodies and when I reached this line I stopped and wondered if I was missing out on softer sheets and immediately googled "virgin Egyptian sheets" which came up with solely results for "Egyptian cotton sheets" it was a joke aimed at myself if anything and I made up that you creatively coined the term as it sounds lavish indeed and was just letting you know you got me. Misunderstanding on both our parts it looks like.