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Anywhere is possible
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|Re: R.I.P Don Corleyone|
< Reply # 10 on 4/20/2015 4:29 AM >
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|I've been up and down, left and right so many times its not even funny. Went from having a killer 2br,2b apartment with a view, 2 motorcycles, and skydiving every other weekend to shooting dope with water from a rain puddle in the parking lot in front of a friend's house cuz he wouldn't open the door. |
I sold all my work tools (the last things I had left after all my photo gear and everything else) and bought 2 grams of heroin and shot it all in one big needle - then woke up on my floor a few hours later pissed off that it didn't work.
I don't regret many decisions I've made (all of them relate to women and relationships), because they all made me into the man I am today... Which might not seem like much to a lot of people, but I'm happy; and that means everything to me. I've had a lot of fun and I have a million awesome stories; when things were good they were really, really good... when things got bad they got horrible incredibly quick.
I'm an adrenaline junkie too, always have been. Wanted to be a fighter pilot, extreme sports, bungee jumping, skydiving, climbed my first crane at 21 in B-more, motorcycles, and a lot of crazy stupid stunts that could have killed me too.... Plus sex and all the drugs and partying on top of it. I never pictured a day that I wouldn't drink or drug; all the adults in my life from the time I was a little kid all drank. I was introduced to rock n roll drug culture at a very early age. I thought I'd be in the 27 club when I was in middle school before Kurt Cobain died (27, obvs).
I got the same rush out of drinking and drugging that I did from other crazy shit, so I kept doing it. I didn't have any problems until I got into my 30's.
The point is that happiness and willingness and motivation have to come from inside. You can find inspiration and support outside, an other stimuli can be a temporary crutch, but you can't fill that hole in your soul with sex or drugs or women or "things".... You've gotta keep doing those things that truly MEAN something to you. Climbing, art. Pursue your passions. Keep learning - have an open mind and funnel as much knowledge as you can into it. Be the best at something.
I know you're not stupid, and you know that there are a lot of people - myself included - who are inspired by the things you do well and share with other people.... Sculpting, climbing, traveling.
Everybody has ups and downs, an everybody goes thru some fucked up bullshit like getting dicked over by someone you care for, and it hurts like nothing ever has before, but we get thru it. Every day that pain hurts a little bit less until one day we just kinda realize we're past it
puck the folice
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