I know it's not a Subie, but she was mine for almost a month:
I actually did a fair amount of 'sploring while I had this car. I hit a deer, and the lords of good auto insurance gifted me this 2014 E350 while my car was being repaired. Here's some of the terrible stuff I did to that car:
1. Got it stuck in a riverbed
2. High centered it on a log(long story)
3. Got it splashed with weird, red cinnabar mud from the Klau mine.
4. Did donuts around a lamp post at the local Wal Mart while blaring "Highway to Hell" by AC/DC
All in all, it's probably best I don't own luxury cars full time.
I almost forgot; My youngest son found a usb drive stuck in the back seat. It turned out it was just the Quickbooks backup for a local body shop. No Pr0n...