Up Shit Creek Without a Paddle August 2013
Seapex II was upon us, and we had a pregame draining trip set up. This particular drain was a sewer. Straight up sewage, but it is absolutely massive and tunnel bored. The pipe is so large that the walls are not made of a single round concrete pipe, but instead it is made up of large curved sheets of concrete bolted together. For size, I will say that the nuts attached to these bolts were the size of two of my fists pit together and the bolt in the middle was about the diameter of my forearm. This is not a tiny pipe.
Se7eN, Crypton and I drove down to Portland from Seattle for this pregame event, hosted by nonconmat. I had flown into Seattle the night before. We meet up at nonconmat's place and set all our stuff in and get ready for this adventure. There were a few people who were making it to this draining pregame that wouldn't be able to make it to the event in Seattle, so we were meeting up with them at a cafe in the city. It was a small cafe and we all got ourselves food and what have you, all socializing for what must have been a couple of hours.
Finally, we were all ready to go. The total in this group would be splitting into two groups. One group would be in the big pipe and the other group would be in the older, brick drains that ran through parts of Portland. I was still unsure of which one I wanted to go with, but all the people I wanted to be with were going to the big pipe. I knew it required rope work and I knew the basics of how it worked, I had done it once or twice but never a large distance.
When we split up, I was convinced to go to the big pipe. I would be using Crypton's harness, which although big fit me alright. We popped the manhole and immediately could hear the large amounts of falling and moving water below us. Nonconmat was the first one down and we all trickled in after him, climbing down the 50 ft ladder that led to a large half circle platform that lead to a 4 ft wall that overlooked a 100ft drop to the flowing water. With no light all you could do was hear the mass amounts of water rushing by.
The James and nonconmat spent a good amount of time rigging up the ropes to ensure all 8 of us would make it down safely. After at least half an hour, we were ready to begin out descent into the maelstrom. Nonconmat went first, as he seemed to do, but rightfully so as the host. I went next. Rappelling is one of my favorite activities, since it is literally just falling with style. Since I generally lack style and I fall all the time, it's a nice change of pace for me.
I got to the bottom, nonconmat unhooked me and helped me get out of the harness, in order to send it back up to Crypton. About the 4th or 5th person was Scout. When she got to the bottom, we realized that she didn't have her bag on her and she had left it up at the top. With the steady roaring of water from all around us there was now way for anyone to be able to communicate between the top and the bottom and the only way she was going to get her bag was by going back up to get it. After everyone was down, nonconmat rigged up his ascending gear and went back up to get her bag and send it down. He opted to actually just stay up there and wait for us to come back. He told us to walk about 2 miles against the flow, so that when we walked with the flow it would be on the way back and would be less tiring on the latter leg of the adventure.
Here is the point where I fully realized how incredibly unprepared for this trip I was. In hindsight I should have gone to the brick drain. It was easier, and also would have suited my inability to walk. Remember that "I fall all the time" quip? Yeah, so that was basically 2 miles of me falling. I was in the back of the group because I couldn't keep up. The bottom of this drain was lined with what I can only assume is literal shit caked to the floor. As a result, I could absolutely not walk and fell in shitty water more times than I care to count, sometimes bringing people with me. Se7eN did his damnest to help me stay up. We got to the end, where there was a giant shitfalls of rushing water. Cool, right? It was neat to see, I will admit that. But I have not seen a single photo from it, to this day.
After people got all their photo taking out of the way, we were headed back. The way back was a bit easier, because we were going with the flow and back the way we had come, so less of that awesome shit that was caked on the ground, was there, as we had knocked it all off on our first round. At least, in my head I thought that would work out. Turns out it seems like most of it has refound its place along our path and my walking back was no better than the walk there.
Se7eN stayed with me the whole way back, helping keep me stable and suffering a fair amount of falls himself. When we got to where we had come down, many of the people in our group had been a fair bit ahead of us and I think two had already made their way back up.
During his time waiting on us, nonconmat had gone and gotten some walkies. This turned out to be one of the most saving grace things that he could have done. In no particular order, everyone made their way up. The only people left at the bottom were me, Se7eN, and AdventureDog. They helped me get rigged up in the harness that Crypton had sent down to me and finally I was ready to attempt ascension. About 6 ft above the floor is when I realize that there would be no chance I would make it to the top on my own. In the 36 hours since I had landed in Seattle the day before, I had eaten the total of a single sandwich from the cafe earlier that way. I was fatigued as could be, and almost completely inexperienced.
One of the guys radioed up that I needed help because I wouldn't be able to get up. At this point, I was pretty crushed, and it if weren't for the fact that I realized I was in a situation far more in need of a level head than self-pity I might have given up there and sat in the poop-flow until I became part of it. Nonconmat and The James radioed down to give them a minute for them to get something rigged up. They had been prepared for this.
Se7eN did what he could to try and get me off the harness, as to try and reduce the amount of circulation that was being cut off from my legs. He and AdventureDog pulled me off and I stood for a total of about a minute before they radioed down to ask why I had been removed, because after 20 minutes of fiddling, they were ready to pull me up.
Once again, I clipped into the rope, completely unsure of what to expect from this experience. Suddenly, I was jerked upward really hard. One was long, one shorter, then longer, then longish. All uneven pulls. We continued on this very slow ascend with a few uneven jerks, each pulling me anywhere from one to a couple of feet to 5 or so at a time. About halfway up, the group got their rhythm down and the time between long pulls was much less. At about halfway up I began losing all feeling in my legs. they went from tingly to completely numb and cold feeling. Despite the "bicycles" I was doing in the air, my legs were numb and it soon just became flailing of my legs.
At this point I decided to ignore my legs, there was nothing I could do about it. so I sat and listened and looked out. I had a flashlight and I could see the lights from above and the lights from below, but I could hear nothing but steady water. That was one of the single most lonely feelings of my life. I couldn't say anything to anyone. Consciously, I thought about panicking. Panic isn't something I do. Ever. But I considered it for a moment and chuckled to myself at the thought. Who would hear it? What good would it do? Ultimately, if anyone caught on that I was in a panic...it would get my nowhere and it would just scare them that something had happened to me, more than the obvious.
Finally, once they'd gotten their rhythm, it took about 35-45 minutes total for them to get me to the top of the wall. From a few feet before I could hear them encouraging me, telling me things like "You're almost there!", "You'll be up soon!" and "We've got you!" When I got closer to the top, I was able to lock my legs in a straight position (using my hands to move them) and then Crypton, Novae and The James all pulled me over the edge.
I collapsed, completely unable to stand, and they helped pull the harness off me. Once I was detached, I sat there for a moment as my legs began to feel very hot and then settle back into what seemed normal with pins and needles throughout.
With Crypton's help, I was stood up and walked to one of the corners of the semi-circle landing. Unable to hold it in further, I began crying. I was so disappointed, so upset so unhappy with myself for being the failure of the trip. I had put my friends into danger and put myself at their mercy when I shouldn't have. All I could think about was how unhappy I was with myself for having not been able to succeed.
AdventureDog came up next, got over the wall and came over to me. He held me as I cried for what must have been at least 15 minutes, saying things like "No one is mad at you", "we love you", "everyone is safe", and "you did amazing". After he calmed me down, Se7eN had already made it to the top and we were packing up to climb the 50ft ladder to the surface. Nonconmat went first, and I immediately opted to go next. WIth my arms and legs still weak I somehow managed to basically run up that ladder, with nonconmat giving me a hand for the last rung as I crawled out of the hole and lay on the asphalt, staring at the sky.
I should be embarrassed by that story, but I'm not. That was the truest show of friendship I have ever had in my life. I know who my friends are, if I didn't before. there are times I wish that hadn't happened to me, but more times are spent appreciating that I have some of the best friends a person can ask for. and who would have guessed...we met through the internet. ;)
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