1. To all the couples


2. To all the singles

Screw Valentines Day!! Hallmark Holiday.. If you love someone you should tell them everyday. Everyday should be special! If it's not, then you aren't with the right person. What sucks more is not being able to be with the person you love! And believe me.. I don't need any type of penis.. chocolate or not lol ;)

Chocolate penises do taste the best.

A historical perspective on love

Remember men, if she's too fixated with staring into an electronic gadget to have a face-to-face conversation with you - you can buy her attention with jewellery.

Why there's chocolate in my mailbox and no invitations for exploring today? Valentine's day sucks!

Posted by HagensborgViking click to view

hahaha

Posted by HagensborgViking click to view

That order tho...

When I was young, the student board in my school always came up with stuff for the Valentine's day. In some years, each of us got a cardboard heart and we were supposed to go around and get hugs. Whenever you hugged someone, he or she would write his or her name on the cardboard heart. Guess how many names I got? None. Never. In some schools, they also had those traffic light parties on the Valentine's day. You were supposed to dress in red, yellow or green depending on your relationship status. The yellow apparently stood for "it's complicated" or something like that. We never did that (thank you), but had there been such party in my school, I would have worn black ("out of order"). Anyway, the problem is that the students who thought it would be fun to arrange stuff like this were always the most popular ones who would have no trouble in being the centre of attention and affection whereas unwanted people like me would be reminded about their place.

I hope their kids die in fire one day.

I went to the movies yesterday. Alone. The new RoboCod was shit. Afterwards, I went to the bar (still alone) for couple of whiskys and came home. There were some girls going around with "free hugs" cards, but I overheard them talking how they are only going to hug cute guys.

I hope they live longer than each and every of their kids.

If there's one thing I'm grateful for, it's that in Finland the Valentine's day is translated as "friends' day" and it's technically not only limited to couples. However, as with every holiday, we're going towards the American way. That's why you see more and more of heart-shaped cards instead of cards that you can send to, say, a friend.

With a winning personality like that, you should have a girlfriend in no time!

Posted by Radical_Ed With a winning personality like that, you should have a girlfriend in no time!

My previous relationships, together with all the shunning during my teenager years, made me the person I am now.

Shunning? Dude, that sucks. Is your face hideous or do you have weird hair? Maybe you need to lower your standards?
I'm as ugly as a shaved dog's ass, have wispy shoulder-length long hair and absolutely no standards to speak of but I haven't been without female companionship since age 16. There's always been few months "off" in between relationships but someone always latches on because I'm chivalrous, humorous and I'm an excellent cook. Do you have halitosis or bromhidrosis? Stank-ass breath and feet will chase them away, sure as shit.

Let's just say there's always a superior alternative available when I'm around. I'm not exciting enough because I can't balance a pint of beer on the top of my head. I just design icebreakers, explore abandoned Soviet cities above the 78th parallel, go out to pee with a rifle on my back in case of polar bears and shit like that as well. Even my hobbies are lame. Who does things like driving a SAR boat in these days when you could be, say, skating or throwing a frisbee in the park?

I guess the main reason is that my personality has changed over time, mainly due to disappointments, and I've been neglecting myself lately because the adult life didn't turn out to be as exciting as I was hoping for. In the past years, I managed to get really social in the university, but the problem is that I got into those awesome social circles IN THE FUCKING SVALBARD and not here in Finland.

Anyway, returning to the original topic, one of the reasons why I dislike Valentine's day is that there shouldn't be a special day when you're supposed to be nice to your significant other. Come on, shouldn't every day be like that if you're in a relationship?

Man, this thread went from funny to dark real quick.

Hey, I'm just trying to help.

Posted by relik Chocolate penises do taste the best.

In your opinion...

Posted by Dougo In your opinion...

Come on, no.