Goddamn you Evasion!!

Dear Sir,
I am very sorry to hear of your unintended and unfortunate experiences with your new Death Ray. I have used mine with great success for a number of years now and am currently building a far larger and more powerful version. I expect your computational analysis will reveal slight deviations in the ionic beams columnar grid layout that may be the root cause of the problems you have experienced. Please extend my condolences to your wife.

Sincerely yours,

xrahy

Dear interested party;

Thank you for your kind words. It is refreshing to hear such a great success story about the Tesla Death Ray. Since it was first built in 1917, it seems like the Death Ray has had nothing but bad press.
In reply to your suggestion that my problem may lie with slight deviations in the ionic beams columnar grid layout, let me assure you that I will look into this more closely and correct any imperfections in the plan and/or design.

On July 4th, I will be retesting the Death Ray. My plan is to lower the harmonics to bring the system down on the scaled wave system. The results should resemble... well... fireworks, actually. What's interesting about this, too, is that it will increase the range, but will also increase the audible evidence of the Death Ray to the volume of a small explosion in the sky. You could see these 'fireworks' as far south as Miami. Watch for them on the evening of July 4th!

C.

See, when I tried this, the same thing happened. I took it apart, and after some careful tests, determined that the V12 modulator needs to be re-calibrated to the same resonant frequency as the main capacitance grid. After that, it's simple to re-trench the primary function control trunks. After that, you can re-scramble the celatron matrix. Then it's smooth sailing. It also results in less currant flow reversal burns.

I said it before, and will say it again, right out to lunch! LOL