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 | 15 June 2004
entry by Krenta
6/25/2004 6:30 AM
| I woke up this morning to the radio with a strange lightheadedness and a horrible taste and strange, fuzzy feeling in my mouth. I lay there for a moment, trying to understand why the first day of my twenty-sixth year on this planet was beginning so poorly. Could I be hung over, I wondered? I'd spent the night before at home, alone, working on my website and drinking...
Beer? Wine? Peppermint schnapps? Some horrible, trendy alcopop? Nope, I'd been drinking orange juice. My condition sure felt like a bad hangover, but I hadn't had alcohol in weeks. Months, actually. I only drink socially, and, as I'm an introvert with no friends... well, I don't need to draw you a picture, I guess. Admittedly, the juice was made from concentrate with Saint Paul tap water, but too much of even the hardest water in the country wouldn't give one a hangover, would it?
Thinking about the possibility of fluoride addiction and withdrawal - it's been hot the last couple of days, I've been drinking a lot more water and juice than usual, and maybe the conspiracy theorists are onto something, after all - I rolled over on my twin bed and emitted a strangled scream as incredible pain lanced through my neck and shoulder.
It was then that I realized the source of my discomfort. I wasn't hung over, there was a cat on my face. I delicately removed it from it's position, unhooking it's sharp claws from my skin, and sat up, spitting out cat hair and feeling the rush as blood flow returned to my head. My strange oral exfoliation complete, I shut off the radio and stumbled into the kitchen, where I finished the last of the orange juice and then sat down amid the nest of computers to begin my day.
It wasn't until a few hours later, as I sat typing up a quote for a prospective client, that the strangest part of my morning hit me: I don't have a cat.
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